Tila Tequila Says Pills Are Driving Her To Rehab

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After the news broke this weekend, Tila Tequila took to her newly founded gossip blog to announce to the world that she plans to join the cast of Celebrity Rehab 4. I think if we’ve learned anything from pop culture so far it’s that something isn’t true unless Tila Tequila says it is. She writes:

“I KNOW I am an EXTREMELY smart girl, and to run all these empires when I am not even 30 yet, is quite an accomplishment, however I finally admitted to myself that I cannot rely on taking prescription pills everyday for the rest of my life! I didn’t spend my heart and soul into building this extremely successful website, invest every last ounce of money into it, and believe me, a site like this plus staff is EXTREMELY EXPENSIVE!” [all sic, naturally]

And since you obviously love her so much and want nothing more than to watch her all the time, you’ll be elated to hear that she already has her sights set on a spin-off:

“…Our OMG sources found out that if I do well on “CELEBRITY REHAB” and continue to stay sober, that VH1 May pick up my OWN SPIN OFF SHOW ABOUT MY LIFE SOBER NOW AND HOW I CAN HANDLE BEING A MOGUL, AND STILL TRY TO MEET THE LOVE OF MY LIFE! IT’s gong to be very raw and real.” [sic strikes again!]

If you know anything about Tila’s, erm, aesthetic, you could guess that this announcement post of hers prattles on and on, addressing haters multiple times, asserting MissTilaOMG!’s legitimacy and calling on her “TILA ARMY” to hold it down for her while she’s in the not-so-big house. Let’s hope that pills aren’t the source of these online rants of hers. I’d hate to see her wild writing change — it’s kind of what she has going for her at this point. [MissTilaOMG!]

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