Scream Queens 2 Recap – Episode 1 – Smashing Pumpkins

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This year’s Scream Queen wins a role in Saw 3D.

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Some ladies have a natural advantage.

Welcome to Scream Queens 2, where 10 unknown actresses compete to become the next big horror movie star. There are some changes from last season to go over first:

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This year’s director is Tim Sullivan, who’s directed films with the two best titles/tag lines I’ve ever seen:

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…the screening notes must have read, “‘Dances with Screams‘ not testing well. Please fix.”

This year’s expert scream queen is Jaime King, but acting coach John Homa is back, and I, for one, am glad I get to hear that last name for the next few weeks. I hope to make at least 30 Homa puns this season.

First we’re introduced to some of the ladies:

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Rosanna tells us she is 4’10”, the same height as Mother Teresa. Interestingly, Mother Teresa had a better rack!

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Just kidding. This rack is A-OK.

Sierra is from New York and says she loves horror movies. “It’d be cool if I got to be in one, then I could watch myself, then that would be my favorite movie,” Sierra says. What a charming move that would be, like nominating yourself for an award, right?

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This is Gabby, who seems very genuine, the kind of gal who just props her chin on her hand and gabs with you for hours.

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… have you ever seen anyone so natural? Plus she is enthusiastic:

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“I’ve studied acting for two years, but I’ve never had a big role,” says Jessica. I find it hard to believe that in two years of acting classes, no one told her how hard it is to land a big role. I mean, surely perseverance is the first lesson they teach you, after how to speak from your diaphragm.

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The first surprise on Scream Queens 2 is literally a surprise.

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The ladies will have to do a quick scene: Wake up from a nightmare, see a killer, and scream. Jessica interviews that it’s about having that “look in your eyes that screams fear.” The proof:

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It kinda whispers fear here…or shrugs fear, maybe?

Sierra says her performance will be scared and sexy, but…

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… she leans heavily on the latter. This will be a recurring theme with Sierra.

The next few screen tests get similar reactions from the other girls.

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But then Gabby gets Homa to do this:

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Real has recognized real. So she’s an early favorite with the judges as well as with me.

Then we meet Lana, whose dad directed both Tremors and City Slickers.

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But nepotism hasn’t worked for her, because, as Lana says, her parents didn’t want her to become an actress and have discouraged her. Later we’ll learn that this is more out of a parental desire to protect their daughter from the harsh truth. Now that we know how Lana sees herself, let’s see how her fellow contestants see her:

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Please trust that their reactions were must more entertaining than her acting. Gabby wins the guaranteed call back, due to what Jaimie describes as “…a quality that tells me you’ve been through a lot.” It is realness!

Allison is angry at Gabby for having only been acting for four and a half years. “Try two decades, bitch!” she tells us. Good to know Hollywood hasn’t made her cynical!

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Back in their house, they all pick on Gabby for having an “essence” instead of acting skills. Here’s a little more of her essence:

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Good thing the next lesson is on accessing rage, because rage is there for the accessing.

Time for the girls to get Homa-schooled (1). The ladies take turns delivering these lines:

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But Rosanna just does this…

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And has to sit down without saying a word. Her silent-but-deadly look just idled at silent. Too bad, because Homa don’t play that (2). Homa says he doesn’t give any second changes, except this one time, when he shows them that smashing pumpkins will help them find their rage, and lets them try again.

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Imagine the rage Gallagher must have been feeling toward those watermelons / cans of peaches in syrup.

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Once again Sierra can’t help being sexy.

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“Rage” is not what comes to mind when you see someone crawling on all fours, no? And poor Rosanna, she was supposed to access her rage, but she accessed pure comedy instead:

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Back at the house the girls are sent their next set of instructions:

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There are far easier ways to send the girls instructions, but this Halloween gag is a good one. For their director’s challenge the ladies will have to do three scenes: one sexy, one scared, and one angry. This will determine who goes home. It doesn’t take a panel of judges to see how this is going. Let’s see the panel of peers instead:

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Tim tells Jessica to get into that space of fear and terror. The road to that space is bouncy:

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But her prep work pays off, and the other girls have nothing to make faces at.

Gabby feels “overwhelmed and scatterbrained” so it takes her a second to even see the thing she is supposed to be scared of. She wouldn’t know fear if it punched through a wall behind her.

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Gabby’s got other problems too. She can’t stay on cue — she doesn’t even wait for the director to say “action” before beginning her scenes.

When it’s time for eliminations, they call Gabby, along with Jessica, Lana, Tai, and Sierra.

Lana says she hopes the judges seem more than “just a pretty girl” in her.

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Acting aside, at least she doesn’t have self-esteem issues.

Jessica and Tai get best performers of the week, and Jessica gets leading lady of the week. Gabby gets a warning for being so disconnected from the scene. She apologizes, but doesn’t explain why. I wish they’d gotten an explanation, because she is so uncomfortable and awkward in her scene.

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Lana and Sierra end up at the bottom of the group: Lana has no layers, and Sierra has too many layers…of make-up, according to Jamie.

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Ultimately they send Lana home. She does a perfect I-don’t-believe-you face:

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“I can’t let this experience deter me, I’ve had people tell me no before,” says Lana. Sadly, this began with her dad. It’s not the end she promises. I am sad to see her go. She may not be an actress, but you can’t say she’s without talent:

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Related content
Scream Queens 2 – Meet the cast
Scream Queens 2 show page
Scream Queens 2 videos and extras

  1. Tev says:

    Having seen the episode in full, I can say that this is one of the worst blog recaps I’ve seen posted on Vh1 in the past year.

    There were a few good jokes, I admit, but where are the shots of these girls actually ACTING? There are plenty of good freeze frames from both challenges.

    And what about the screaming practice? That was literally my favorite part of the episode.

    I’m a little bit disappointed.

  2. Jeffrey says:

    Wow. Fail. Hard. This recap was a tasteless and trite attempt to get some gags. I don’t know who’s trolling harder, me or you people, because this is crap. And nice way to add insult to injury to Lana. Try harder next time to actually summarize something in a useful way. VH1 has hit a new low. Tev and I are in the boat here. You market this show as being high quality and professional, but post off-color and embarrassing photos of the girls, and gifs of boobs, $&%*`+_~%)+)`~)&! pumpkins, and bungee snot. Hope you’re feeling some cognitive dissonance at how two faced that is.

  3. lynnette says:

    Really? This is a disgrace to post this on Vh1!!!! Way to put down 10 women who have probably faced rejection all there life and gave up everything they have worked so hard for to do what they love, Which is be an actress, it is an art form . I don’t know how u sleep at night and I don’t know how this is on the actual blog page of vh1 , At first I was really interested in watching the show but now that you have posted these negative pics and clearly made fun of 10 Women. I will never ever watch this show or vh1 again. Thanks for ruining something good and at the same time some girls lives. Karma is a _+`@+_$#)^%^*+$++ hope you get yours.

  4. Val says:

    I know the acting coach from my childhood. We grew up in the same town and he was a friend of my brother. Imagine my surprise to see him on this show!!

  5. QillaBilla says:

    Thank you for this recap I knew vh1 would put out another crappy show.

  6. Jon Valera says:

    Keep up the hard work karlie, youve got natural talent so just let it flow and do what you feel…..

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