Ochocinco: The Ultimate Catch Recap – Episode 9 – One Thing We Did Not Love About The Show

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This about sums up our level of disgust.

Guys, Tara is gone. Take a few minutes and let that sink in. It’s OK. I’ll wait.

It’s maybe not so big of a surprise that Tara couldn’t get with the program, as it were, and be serious (whatever that means) and I guess cease to entertain. Her unwillingness to break the wisecracking, un-PC character that she presented from the jump did lead to her loss (if we’re allowed to look at this show as a competition, which I don’t know if we are since it’s supposed to be So. SERIOUS.), but it’s also something of a victory for her: she refused to change for anyone and so she left on her terms. Either she was too committed to her role or too set in her natural ways to stay, but either way, this kind of consistency isn’t so common on reality TV.

Ahem.

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That’s not to say that Tiphani was wrong, as strategy is strategy and sometimes you really have to put effort into getting and keeping your man, regardless of the presence of cameras. Brittany, for example, announced, “I put my son on hold,” to come onto this show. That’s devotion that some could certainly argue is misplaced. In contrast, the same sort of issue doesn’t come up about Tara, who in her own jokey and “non-serious” way, was a straight-shooter.

When Chad assembled his friends and family for what soon announced itself as a “wife beater party” (a comment on the clothing — we don’t have a clue regarding these people’s martial statuses)…

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…one of the party games they played was Pin the Blame on the Banshee. They were asked which was the “most hated,” a question guaranteed to unleash shrieking and clawing, if ever there were. After a pregnant pause, the girls called out Tara (since, objectively: duh!), who only proved their point…hilariously! Everyone won! “I’m the least liked by you f***ing idiots!” was Tara’s strongest response. It’s-not-me-it’s-you is always a great way of rationalizing a situation, after all. When Brittany called her a joke, Tara snapped back, “Don’t be a d***,” always a funny thing to call a vagina-haver. After Brittany called out Tara’s tuxedo-shirt elimination attire, Tara responded, “You wear booty shorts and a stripper shirt!” Tellingly, Rubi explained, “You’re the least-liked because we don’t understand you…” Isn’t that always the way it is, though? Really, can’t dislike always be boiled down to ignorance and misunderstanding? As wrongheaded as that sentiment may be, points for clarity. Tara’s response, however, was nothing close to being in the name of understanding: “Shut the f*** up!”

Ultimately, Tara explained, “I may be mean but I’m funny and funny always wins.” She’s wrong (witness her dismissal later in the episode), but ultimately so, so right.

By the way, her final conversation with Chad was just as steadfastly Tara as ever. “I thought you were going to get rid of Brittany. She looks like Sean Penn,” she said about last week’s elimination. On the same topic, Chad said, her behavior there really bothered him: “I should’ve got rid of you that night, but it’s like no way in hell I’m letting you go. But it’s still the same Tara, and I’m still not getting what I’m looking for. I feel like it’s been long enough for that serious side come out.” Her response was glib as ever: “Yeah, we’ve been out here for, like, seven minutes, so…” Ha! At that, he dismissed her telling her that this isn’t what she’s looking for. Her response? A chipper, “OK!”

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“I’ll pray for you,” she told Chad, not without condescension. Still, in the end she chalked it up like this: “He’s not what I’m looking for, nor am I what he’s looking for.” “Nor.” Very impressive. “I sort of wish him the best,” she continued. “Sort of,” ha! “And I wish Rubi and Brittany herpes, gonorrhea and chlamydia and syphilis.” All treatable conditions, I see: she doesn’t want to inflict permanent pain, just temporary discomfort. That was her objective on this show all along, I guess. Goal attained. Let’s give it up for Tara.

Chad announced to the remaining women (previously referred to by Tara as “a bunch of UFC banshees”), “I eliminated Tara. I had enough of the silly games.” He’s only got the time for non-silly games like football and reality dating shows. Meanwhile, those girls had gone out to eat with Chad’s mom, who walked in unannounced and totally confused Rubi who politely acted like she knew who she was…

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When they figured it out, Chad’s mom told them she’d be taking them out to dinner for a little grilling session (note: that’s not to say that they had barbecue). Brittany, however, stayed behind, as she was sick. She was glad to be in a condition that found her throwing up “like violently, seven times,” instead of meeting with Chad’s mom. In fact, everyone seemed dismayed that they had to meet with her. So much for keeping up appearances regarding the woman who, in the tiniest of chances, could be their future mother-in-law!

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Maybe they were right to be afraid. Mom asked them things like, “What kind of person are you?” “What is it you like about him?” and “What can you bring to the table?” In Rubi’s case, the table is literal and she brings food and spotlessness: she cooks, cleans and takes care of kids. Hopefully she’s at least artful about it, though. Mom also said accusingly, “You don’t even know him!” She also somewhat strangely criticized Rubi’s dress for being provocative, male-attention grabbing and possibly leading to infidelity.

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Is that really how it happens? Can you trace the breakup of some marriages back to cleavage? Is there a boob-erfly effect brought on by anything less than a turtleneck? When dinner was over, Mamacinco told Tiphani and Rubi, “It was enjoyable and good luck.” That’s charitable. Briefing Chad, she said she thinks Tiphani can’t handle Chad’s kids and that while Rubi’s “a little bit older,” her dress style is “floozy-like.” Floozy! You can’t really hold something against someone when it’s said using such a funny word! Mamacinco joins the pantheon of strict, somewhat eccentric moms of reality stars that VH1 loves to host. She’s sitting on a star, looking down and judging you.

In the end, Chad was pained.

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See? Pained. Brittany was already advancing, thanks to Tara’s early dismissal, so he had to choose between Tiphani and Rubi. Tiphini’s too young for him, but Rubi’s too na├»ve for his lifestyle. In the end, he said he was going with his heart and kissed Tiphani goodbye.

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“Chad made a huge mistake, so it hurts. It really hurts a lot,” said Tiphani upon leaving. After spending time on reality TV, it’s at least reassuring that she can still feel.

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  1. Dwayne says:

    I miss Tiphani. :0(. Chad made a huge mistake when he decided to eliminate her. Chad should have sent Brittany home and kept Tiphani and Rubi. Tiphani is way more hotter and smarter than Brittany.

  2. ariel says:

    you shouldnt have made tyra go home because she was real than it could get ang if you wanted her to get more seious you should have pushed it you really made a MISTAKe it makes me dont want to watch the show

  3. Tev says:

    I’m actually impressed Tara hung around for so long.

    My money’s on Rubi winning it, but, probably not going to tune into the final. Despite the novel format changes, this hasn’t been one of the better dating shows Vh1 has aired, IMO.

  4. DIAMOND says:

    I THINK IT WAS PROBABLY A GOOD THING GETTING RID OF TIPHANI BECAUSE SHE COULDN’T OPEN UP TO HIM OR HIS MOTHER, SHE COULDN’T TELL WHAT WAS ON HER MIND. I GUESS SHE WAS SCARED BUT AT THE SAME TIME SHE WAS TRYING TO WIN HIS HEART AND SHE COULDN’T DO THAT WHILE HOLDING THINGS BACK AND BEING SCARED. I AM SOOOO GLAD THAT HE GOT RID OF TARA SHE WAS NO WHERE NEAR RIGHT FOR HIM, THERE IS A TIME TO PLAY AND A TIME TO BE SERIOUS. HOW COULD HE BE WITH TARA AND SHE THINKS EVERYTHING IS A JOKE, HE IS A PRO FOOTBALL PLAYER HE NEEDS A REAL WOMAN WHO KNOW WHEN TO PLAY AND WHEN TO BE SERIOUS. WHAT DOES HE LOOK LIKE TAKING HER OUT TO AN IMPORTANT INTERVIEW OR SOMETHING AND ALL SHE DO IS JOKE AROUND THAT WOULD BE SO RUDE AND IT WOULD NOT BE GOOD PUBLICITY FOR HIM.

  5. kelly says:

    I liked Tiphani for him more than Rubi…

  6. Marqueita says:

    Ok it is obvious who Chad is going to pick….he changed his name to “OchoCinco”. I dont know what it is but I believe, he believes that he is hispanic. I like the fight in Ruby, but I really dont feel that she will be able to deal with the lifestyle of a Celebrity. Also I have noticed that with some black men, especially those who were teased in high school about how black they are or how ugly they may have been have a tendency to stay away from the race of women who did the harassing; T.O., Chad OchoCinco, and Wesley Snipes to name a few. Weley Snipe even made a comment stating why he did not date black women and that he would never date a black woman. He said they did not like him back then when he was broke, too black, and too ugly, but now that he is successful they wanted him. My personal opinion….I would have given Ruby a hard run for her money!!!!! Im just saying.

  7. SoCal says:

    But….it looks like Chad was most pained when releasing Tara.

    However much you like her or don’t, Chad’s “break up” with her included such phrases as ‘I could wake up to you every day’. I think that beyond what we see on the show, Chad saw beyond her sarcasm. When it comes down to it, the two of them looked good together and Chad really dug her style. The emphasis on her non-seriousness got old after a while. I think Chad cared less about that then all the other girls and people surrounding him and that in reality, he and Tara together (if even only briefly) would have been an awesome ending to the show.

  8. kujo says:

    Tara is the best out of all the girls. Her attitude is awesome… my kind of girl… funny does win… plus she’s hotter than the others too..

    No more Tara… no more watching the show… she was the show.

  9. greg says:

    dammit work on your football game! t.o. is outshining you!
    ocho knows this is all just media bs, hes not getting with any of these girls after the show. dudes been dating some hot chick outside of the show.
    seriously though, work on your football game!

  10. Girlinthetshirt says:

    I’m not sure why anyone is getting upset with who he picked because as you all should no if you don’t these shows are for promoting & findng new talent…. these guys & girls that go on these show all win in the end some kind of way by either becoming a promoter for clubs or ending in some sitcom or magizine of some sort, as for the person looking for the love like… Flava Flav, New York, Brett Michaels, Chance & Real, Ray J, Daisy, Megan & now Ocho (did I forget anyone I think I got everyone)anyway they never end up with that person at all!! Not to mention I person believe the only reason Ocho picked Rubi is because of her looks. Dont get me wrong she is pretty but this mess is all a game, besides have you all heard that he (Ochoc) is not seeing Evelyn from Basketball Wives??? Oh yeah! These shows are all fake & for entertainment PURPOSE ONLY!

  11. Girlinthetshirt says:

    On my last post I misspelled a word which made the statement seem silly: What I was saying is Ocho is now seeing the female from basketball wives Evelyn. And many of you are sooooo right about he was dating females while he was taping the show, oh did anyone feel the way I did when he was telling oh girl that he felt his & her life would end in dystater talking about her sons father….hello did he forget that he has babymamas too? Go figure!!!!

  12. Joni says:

    If all men were like this one, we would have it made in relationships. This guy knows exactly what he is looking for and does not let anything or anyone come in his way.

  13. florence says:

    The show was a joke do these things ever work.

  14. 105564 says:

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  15. 1039213 says:

    What a lovely day for a 1039213! SCK was here

  16. 3375214 says:

    What a lovely day for a 3375214! SCK was here

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