In tonight’s series premiere of Real and Chance: The Legend Hunters, the boys were introduced to the concept of noodling. If you don’t know what that is, check the extended scene from the episode above for a crash course (basically, it involves catching catfish by sticking one’s hand in their mouth). And don’t say that VH1 never taught you anything.
Along the way, we learned that Real and Chance have weak constitutions — a box turtle is all it took to throw Chance into a tizzy, while you’d think chewing tobacco was a narcotic given the way it did Real in. Also, they are terrible presenters — a running gag was an in-show blooper reel of them attempting (and failing) to set the scene. And yet, they have a TV show and you don’t. Ha ha.
If you missed the episode, check below for a brief overview of what went down…
This week’s legend to be hunted: Lee’s Monster, a 150 lb. catfish
Where: Stillwater, Oklahoma
Risks: Losing fingers, being eaten (Lee’s Monster weighs 20 more lbs. than Chance!), pissing off hostile locals
Choice quotes from Real and Chance:
Chance: I can’t put my hand in that shark’s mouth. My hand is softer than a baby’s butt.
Real: Look at that. Feel that tip, dude.
Chance: I don’t get naked for men, man.
Real (on their rustic cabin): This some Yogi Bear s***.
Chance: One thing we found about fish, man, they have front doors and back doors on their cage and you have to block their hole.
Real: Brother got his grown-man on!
Choice quotes from the locals:
“There’s fish in these lakes bigger than cars…They eat people. Fish, if you’re swimmin’ around, thrashin’ around, they’ll eat ya.”
“If you guys are really gonna go out there and noodle this fish, you need to be one with him.”
“You guys earned some big-boy pants.”
“There ya go, girls. There’s your day.”
“Take your clothes off, only the shorts. We don’t need to scare ‘em out of the box, we gotta get ‘em out of the box.”
“You got your girly britches on.”
Did Real and Chance have success hunting their legend?
In a word…
The fish they both caught were many times smaller than Lee’s Monster. They supposedly felt a bigger fish underfoot after their successful noodling, but never produced proof. Still, they did earn the respect of a local who referred to them as “girls,” which is about as much of a triumph as you can expect from these two. Then again, calling other dudes “girl” is a very drag-queen thing to do, so maybe winning over said local isn’t so impressive after all.