Things are getting totally crazy! (And by “things,” I mean Fantasia’s expressions…)
Our first face of Tasia arrives on the set of the “Bittersweet” video. Tasia’s introduced to her love interest in the video, Washington Redskins receiver Devin Thomas, and her expression is anything but sour:
Well, it’s not salty, either, I guess. It’s savory, really, is what it is.
Her reaction tells us early that she’s already on board with the steaminess the video’s director proposes…
By “kinda,” she means “extremely.”
She describes this scenario as “dope.” Bittersweet or Skinemax? You choose the compound word!
Meanwhile, we’re introduced to Teeny’s vast “team”:
Here’s a little breakdown for you:
The mention of Teeny’s people elicits an entourage side-eye face from Fantasia:
She notes that Teeny’s team is “way bigger” than hers. Indeed, all she has is a wide receiver! She wonders, “Should I have all that?” As the person in the family with a major-label recording contract, I think the answer’s yes? But I’m not in showbiz, so what do I know?
(And really, is her team really not that big? What doesn’t she have? Teeny’s assemblage seems like the bare minimum of what a working recording artist needs…)
Teeny takes a team meeting. With his jokes and distractions in the form of unnecessary chatter and weird noises, he is utterly exasperating.
However, he and his people do decide to throw a “butt naked” car wash that will feature exotic cars, beautiful women and the opportunity to buy his new CD (featuring the smash “Space Age Riden“). As many a hip-hop video has taught us, scantily clad women are the teaspoon of sugar that helps the medicine go down…if we can consider contemporary hip-hop to be medicine. I guess you could make the argument that it is at least medicinal, much of the time. That’s especially the case when you’re singing about being so high that you’re on another planet, ahem, ahem.
There’s no Tasia face to accompany this, but it bears noting that Bunny goes out on her date with Mr. 12″ himself, Jason, whom she met during speed dating. They visit the reality TV staple that is Dave and Busters (I tell ya, Whitney and Bobby were pioneers!)
“Say hello to my little friend,” says Aunt Bunny. It doesn’t seem that she got to say hello to Jason’s 12″ one. As they end the date on virtually platonic terms.
Fantasia doesn’t make this face at this display, but the disappointment that’s bound to come of this date deserves it all the same:
(And, by the way, I’m aware that the Ask Me About My 12″ shirt Jason wore speed dating refers to his vinyl record collection. I’m just choosing to interpret the double entendre in full. It’s a meaty double entendre, you know?)
Back on set, things are heating up. Fantasia gives us a cooling face.
She requests a closed set…
…and then gets down to the business of being bittersweet…
You know things are getting hot when even a person participating in them feels uncomfortable watching…
Fantasia says she hopes her mom doesn’t watch this video too many times. If I were her, I’d do anything I could to keep my mom from seeing it once! And really, I think once her mom sees it, she’s not going to be reaching for the rewind button or anything. Fantasia’s mother is a woman of God, for crying out loud!
Anyway, it’s all so hot that Fantasia fans her loins afterward:
That’s right, Fantasia fans her fanny. Truly, I think this might be the most explicit thing we’ve seen yet…
…But not for long. Teeny and his football team of handlers go to a strip club to try out girls for their car wash. Upon seeing some of them enter, they are disappointed.
Teeny wonders if this is what he’s looking for or if it’s a “calamity.”
I think the answer is somewhere between column A and column B.
For the most part, Teeny likes what he sees:
When it comes to faces, the next one says it all:
It’s Teeny’s face of altruism:
“Atrusim,” mind you, is defined, ahem, loosely.
Anyway, the car wash ends up being a big hit…
Teeny even gets in on the action…
The Teeny/Bikini Car Wash would have been a good name for this event, speaking of double entendres!
When we last see Fantasia on the “Bittersweet” set, Brian trying hard to get her set up with Devin. In response, we see her I-didn’t-hire-you-to-manage-my-love-life face:
But they eat together and there seems to be chemistry.
If you consider looking at someone’s tattoos chemistry, I guess. Devin lays it on really thick:
Later, he tells her he’s a “nudist,” and tries to make magnetic poetry happen that really isn’t happening.
(That’s supposed to read “DATE.”)
On Devin’s magnetic editing attempt, Fantasia says, “It was cute and I got tickled about it.” Funnily enough, I find her description cute and it tickles me! But this is not a love connection, as Fantasia explains that her heart is elsewhere. She gives us a face so determined, it reflexively shuts out the world:
Her heart goes on…and we’re about to find out at what price.
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