This right here?
Our first face of Tasia…
…is completely obscured first by sunglasses and also by her hand. Whoops. Let’s try that again:
Here’s Fantasia’s done-with-Devin face. She’s had enough of Brian attempting to set her up with the pro-football-playing love interest of her “Bittersweet” video. Tried to really sell Fantasia on Devin last episode, and it turns out that he was just getting started. Brian thinks that Devin is able to make a blind person “possibly see with his looks.” The (unintentional?) “looks”/”see” play in that sentence is actually poetic. I wonder if Devin appreciates the finer points of the English language. If so, Brian could use his way with words to ghostwrite a letter to Devin from Fantasia. Everyone knows she’s getting her GED. No one would question it. Anyway, Brian gushes about Devin’s charm, charisma, face and body. Does Brian want Fantasia to get with Devin so that she’d have someone or so that he’ll be in the frequent presence of apparent greatness?
Anyway, as we know from last episode, Fantasia’s heart is somewhere else. “You and I both know there is something we don’t talk about much,” she says to Brian before giving her and-we-won’t-be-elaborating-either face…
Brian nonetheless vows to “work and plot and scheme” on setting this up. Some people reserve such devotion for love; others reserve it for work. Still for others, their work is their love. And then there are people who just love Devin. I haven’t quite figured out where Brian falls on this continuum.
The next face we see is one of nervousness:
It’s in advance of Fantasia debuting “Bittersweet” live on American Idol. She doesn’t know how people will receive it. They end up applauding, so yay? I mean, it’s a great song and she sounds great, but I’m not sure if it’s going to woo imbecile children away from their Justin Bieber-shaped Silly Bandz anytime soon. Fantasia might be too raw for your standard Idol watcher. My, how the world has regressed in the past five years.
Anyway, most interesting to me is that this performance continues these theme of Fantasia’s eyes being obscured…
Bangs are the new hands in front of sunglasses.
Fantasia returns home and promptly puts on a pissed-off face when her mother informs her that her beloved Shih Tzu, Diva, is missing.
She’s mad that no one went to look for Diva. She reasons what her family must have reasoned: “I guess they were just hoping that she’d come back.” But alas, Diva is not one of those boomerang dogs they sell late at night on TV.
Fantasia gives us a visual to show how much she blames her mom for her dog’s departure:
A little bit goes a long face, I guess.
Fantasia goes to a shelter, only to find that her mom, in fact, did go looking for Diva…last time she was lost.
This is so sad! I love Diva and her bulging eyes! The image of her running aimlessly along a highway is almost too much to bear. If you looked inside my heart, here is what you’d find:
Puppy dog eyes for a puppy. Fantasia explains that some people might tell her to get over this, that it’s just a dog, but when you live with that dog for 6 years, she becomes family. Amen. I don’t even know if I can go on with the recap. I mean I will, but I’m really in a bad spot right now.
Fantasia attends an ASPCA event, in which she gives the kind of bombastic sermon that you might hear in a Millie Jackson song.
She talks about her missing pet and we get soft-focus flashbacks of the dog she was:
I need to tell my mom to avoid this episode — she might take up drinking to cope with the bleakness. Anyway, Fantasia tells the crowd about her missing pet’s unconditional love. She shares something even more intimate with us in interview: “I get lonely a lot, I do. And people don’t realize that because I keep this big smile on my face. Like now!”
It’s funny that Fantasia wears everything on her sleeve — even the fact that she doesn’t always wear everything on her sleeve. What a complicated artichoke of layered emotion this woman is!
At the…rally? Concert? Benefit? Whatever it is for the ASPCA, she meets a pitbull puppy. And though she praises its eyes and says she wants to take it home, the look on her face upon first examination says it all:
The pitbull puppy is not Diva.
You know what else isn’t Diva?
Teeny’s pitbull, but he supposedly empathizes with Fantasia’s loss so much that he’s willing to give up his dog to her…
Or maybe his dog is just a complete nightmare handful and he’s trying to take advantage of the empty space Diva left behind by dumping him on vulnerable, dog-free Fantasia.
She’s so consistent!
The next face is Fantasia’s suprise-party face:
You can see that she is extremely appreciative when Brian proposes throwing her a party for her birthday.
Clearly, she thinks he’s up to something, and clearly he is: this seems like a recipe for a Tasia-Devin reunion, if ever there were. What’s funny is that Brian’s gunning for Fantasia to date a guy with no “preexisting baggage,” while he wants some of his own: they play pool on a bet that if he wins, she’ll buy him a Louis Vuitton computer bag. However, he loses. And Fantasia’s not giving up her baggage-toting guy, either. The baggage distribution, unfortunately, remains unchanged.
But before the recipe can be made, the ingredients must be bought. Brian brings in two very animated party planners to help out:
On the left is Ray Little, who says his decorating idea involves “hip-hop chic” and is “minimalist, modern, fabulous, funky.” He’s very good at saying words…
…a little shaky on actually meaning them (minimalist?!?). But whatever, Brian loves his work as well as that of the guy on the right…
“Fantasia is fantastic and she loves glam,” says Steve. “We’re really gonna take her house and turn it into a pink and purple palace.” He also promises to bring “Hollywood glam to Charlotte.” They’re so animated, I don’t even need to make gifs of them. Amazing. They really came on with their potential spin-offs blazing, huh?
Anyway, the party happens and it’s fun. It’s also a reminder of how underused Aunt Bunny has been this episode:
She does provide a crucial bridge into potential Devin drama — after a premiere screening of the “Bittersweet” video, Bunny goes around hollering to anyone who’ll look at her if they’ve seen Devin, thus killing whatever potential surprise Brian planned in bringing him out…
But what Brian has for Fantasia is not Devin, but two puppies named Bonnie and Clyde. The gift of motherhood is Fantasia’s birthday present, and look at what a proud new mom she is:
She screams that her mother will be taking care of these dogs while she’s out of town…
After what happened with Diva, she’s really going to trust more animals to Diane’s care? Fantasia, treat life like a GED class and learn from it! Diane is, hilariously, so not amused by the prospect of two more little, blonde responsibilities:
They are cute, though:
And that’s about it for the surprises. Devin doesn’t show (he had training), but he sends something that you’re supposed to eat, but which looks like something you’d be made to wear in the tackiest ’80s wedding possible:
Apparently it’s good. Sadly, Diva does not jump out of it. I really thought she was going to show up again by the end of the episode, but nope! She’s really gone! Bye, Diva. That’s that. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to go spend the rest of the week in tear-filled agony.
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Fantasia for Real 2 show page
Fantasia for Real 2 videos and extras
Fantasia for Real Facebook page