She got it, dudes!
The first face of this week’s Fantasia for Real is one of doggone determination:
Like she told us last season, she’s gonna get that GED, doggone it! But not without struggle…
The academic struggle turns familial when Fantasia hears her mother and Aunt Bunny talking about Devin and switches on her him-again?!? face.
And seriously: him again? I get that he is a god among men that everyone wants to procreate with (or have fun trying!), but really, she’s just not into him. For you see…
“My heart is with somebody” an interesting refrain for Fantasia to employ (and she says it often). Those words make it sound like it’s in the shop being worked on. Hopefully, it doesn’t come back more damaged than it was when it went in.
Fantasia says that Aunt Bunny is “nicking and picking and trying to get information,” and we receive an expression to accompany the description of course…
And then we hear a barrage of Bunny questions and commentary. Among them:
“Is he single? Did you get any vibrations from him or anything?” (This proves my suspicion that Devin is widely regarded as a sex toy.)
“I have some suspicions of my own, because I’ve read the Internet. I’m not stupid.” (Did she read the entire Internet? If so, she should maybe partner up with this guy.)
“If something is going on, it’s gonna come out. If something is wrong that’s foul, it’s coming out.” (That is, of course, the worst thing about foul things: they come out.)
Let’s put a pin in Bunny for a second, and check in with Teeny, whose new single art has just been designed:
In a few ways — starting with the layout — it looks like the design of a Cassingle. And if anyone has the gumption and magnetism to doomed schemes needed to bring back the Cassingle, surely it is Teeny.
Speaking of, this season’s Bossquerade will be on a boat. Teeny calls it a Boatsquarade. Weather that eventually renders it a failure (spoiler alert!) be damned, Teeny doomed that idea when he christened it with that name.
Meanwhile, Fantasia takes her GED. Apparently, it’s a mail-in thing. Maybe it’s somehow cheat-proof, but then again, maybe it’s teaching these aspiring high-school grads the greatest modern lesson there is: anything worth knowing is Googleable. Regardless, it’s interesting to see the actual test…
…and it seems frustrating all the same:
Here’s a summary of Fantasia’s emotional variation from the time she sends in her test to finding out her score:
That last one should tell you everything you need to know: she passed! She informs us this with a completely justified “boo ya!”
What’s more, she’s valedictorian of her class! “I mean, there was only three people with me that took the test, but that doesn’t matter!” she explains. Educated and grounded, that’s our Tasia! Part of intelligence is knowing what you don’t know but how many other people you know more than.
Anyway, Fantasia sings in the GED office or whatever.
She’s ecstatic. It’s contagious.
“I passed, I passed. Now run tell that,” she says. Well, we don’t really need to, since you just did on national television, but if you insist: HEY GUYS, SHE PASSED.
Fantasia’s grandmother attends her graduation.
Grandma was always super concerned about Fantasia’s education, so this day is particularly special for her. “This is my harvest. I’ve been waiting for this day,” is how Grandma puts it. That’s perfect, really. Everyone passes!
Lucky for her, Fantasia is beaming when her name is called:
Not only does everyone pass, everyone wins:
We now interrupt the educational joy to bring you some bad news from Teeny…
And no, it doesn’t have anything to do with the coloration of his hair — it rained on his Boatsquerade.
That is the perfect reaction. The boat sets sail anyway, but Teeny does concede that he lost a lot of money with this scheme. His brother Ricco calls the entire location “geographically undesirable,” so something tells me that Teeny’s failure has to do with more than just the weather. Like I said: doomed from the start.
And speaking of things that were doomed from the start:
Bam. Fantasia is served with papers connected to the divorce proceedings of Antwaun Cook and his wife. Cook, of course, is the one whose Fantasia’s heart is with. She has always contended that she met him after he was separated. Brian corroborates this story, but says he knew that it all was going to surface at some point. He calls the papers “some bulls***” and says he doesn’t want the press to get a hold of the story. “I don’t care about the press!” says Fantasia. On one hand, her perpetual openness would suggest as much. On the other…
…her expression suggests that the press is just one of several potential concerns.
Finally, as a respite from this headache, we get the best Fantasia face of the season so far…
…the attached-to-Patti LaBelle face.
She loves it as much as I do. “Ooh, you’re so pretty and so sweet and so fierce and so wonderful!” says Miss Patti, who looks like she’s about to consume Fantasia whole. They’re backstage at a show that finds Patti introducing Fantasia to the stage.
I love the attribution in that screen shot. Indeed, Patti is a legend. She’s almost at unicorn status. The woman is amazing.
Anyway, focusing on her work, Fantasia tells us that she doesn’t have time for drama…
…though her performance suggests that it’s actually her livelihood.
Maybe she draws the line between the drama that you choose for your art, and that which chooses you?
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