“Teeny’s got some crazy ideas!” Fantasia tells us at the top of this week’s episode of Fantasia for Real.
Sounds euphemistic to me!
Before we get to Teeny’s bright idea, let’s start with a face of Tasia:
Here she is receiving a call from her A&R guy Keith and, for a moment, worrying about the first-week numbers of her Back to Me album. That worry gives way to silent celebration…
…and then absolute shock…
(That rank, btw, refers to the R&B albums chart, though it did debut at a healthy No. 2 on the Billboard 200.)
Fantasia and Brian celebrate with a toast, but even better, Fantasia celebrates by joining Snoop Dogg onstage for a rousing rendition of Aretha Frankin’s “Rock Steady.”
And it seems that for a flickering moment, all is right in Tasia’s world.
Meanwhile, Teeny plies his bodyguard Tank with shots of Hennessy to convince him to don a diaper on the Las Vegas strip to drum up attention for music Teeny plans on handing out. Tank’s all…
…but Teeny’s all…
In the end, jaw-dropping enthusiasm trumps sheepishness and Tank ends up stripping down on the Strip:
I love that instead of giving Tank his space, Aunt Bunny is zeroed in on his crotch. This woman is getting her groove back, one young man at a time.
Shirtlessness really complements the diaper so well.
Tank’s kind of…fine? If you’re into thick guys? Seriously.
There’s more of him, for those who are into that.
And there are quite a few people who are into that. “People were really responding to the situation!” says Teeny. Can’t say I blame ‘em. Can’t say I get how a shirtless dude in a diaper makes sense as marketing for a hip-hop soul release, but I also can’t say I mind watching the reincarnation of Big Baby Jesus. Basically, there are a lot of things I can’t say.
Meanwhile, Fantasia hits the studio to rehearse “I’m Doin’ Me,” her next single, which she plans on performing on Regis & Kelly.
It all seems completely whatever and drama free until Brian gets a call from Antwaun, Fantasia’s ex whose alleged lies are the source of the legal woes we’re watching play out (and, apparently, are still playing out IRL). Since Fantasia has changed her number, Antwaun’s only hope for reaching her is through Brian. Brian says he’s been calling a lot and he finally is ready to reveal this to Fantasia. When he tells her, she responds with a terse, “Oh.” And then we get her … face:
She eventually comes around to admitting that she’s ready to talk to Antwaun, for closure if nothing else. More on that in a bit. But first:
Teeny is preparing for his “Space Age Riden” video shoot.
He seems not at all frustrated by its apparent lack of budget. Good for him! That would only get in the way of material the public clearly needs to hear. Teeny says what he learned in Vegas is that you can draw great attention with a great visual. I love that we’re on the same page regarding how great it was to see Tank virtually naked! Teeny also says the word “alienized” a lot in preparation for the shoot. If anything Teeny has ever said deserves to enter mainstream discourse, surely it is the word “alienized.”
Teeny’s co-star comments on her video ‘do by calling it “Christmas for a Mexican flag.” “I feel very ‘Feliz Navidad,'” she adds. Everyone’s saying great stuff! That’s the power of great art. It begets greatness.
To achieve that outer-space feel, Teeny shoots on a rooftop of a nearby Westin…
Wooo! Do you feel like you’re on an intergalactic trek or what? This scene leaves him speechless — he can’t even think of a word to describe it!
It is, in a word, remarkable.
In the process, Teeny scares the hell out of a child he’s shooting with…
This child, by the way, is supposed to be a member of Teeny’s crew.
To be alienized is to roll with toddlers, apparently. Who knew?
The kid, however, never warms up to the idea of being part of Teeny’s alienized posse.
Hopefully, the entire experience wasn’t so traumatic that he’ll be left with any lasting scars. If so, though, it will make for an interesting therapy session one day.
There’s a brief segue into the final scene via a discussion between Bunny and Diane regarding Antwaun’s persistent calls to Fantasia.
They talk about how hard it is to meet trustworthy people. “Baby you better run their doggone name through a computer and do a check. OK? That’s what I’m doin’. I’m relyin’ on technology, baby. Technology,” says Bunny. Welcome to the Information Age all over again!
Fantasia’s in her hotel room and it’s about to storm. I love it when the weather is thematically appropriate! Antwaun shows up with a mission: “I’m not the monster that everybody thinks I am. Just want to clear the air.” Meanwhile, Fantasia is ready to hear what he has to say “and to either end that chapter or…I don’t know.” A face of indecision is nothing new for our hero.
Nor is a cliffhanger: the episode ends as Fantasia’s opening her door to let Antwaun in.
They must stop meeting like this — these interruptions are so frustrating!