You may now kiss the bride…
This week’s Football Wives is light on tension, and heavy on emotion. My theory on the reduced clashing: we’ve reached the home stretch of the season and these women are tired. Bickering is a lot of work!
We begin with a discussion between Chanita and Dawn, in which Dawn reveals that football is, indeed over for Ryan.
She’s had hard times with him before that she isn’t specific about. What helped absolve that difficulty and put the worth of it all into perspective, though, was watching him run out of the tunnel. Now that there’s no tunnel at the end of their tunnel, the concern is heightened. Chanita underlines the sensitivity of Dawn’s situation by telling us that a lot of couples don’t make the post-football transition.
Luckily, Ryan’s being proactive regarding this matter. He has invited Dawn’s friends over without telling them why. Chanita rings the bell and yells, “Black people!” How wonderfully helpful. The various women say that they’re nervous that something’s up, but it just turns out that Ryan wants to surprise Dawn with a vow-renewal service to celebrate their 10th anniversary. The women, unsurprisingly, love this idea.
It seems like a hell of a surprise, though. I’d kind of want to know in advance if I had to get back in my wedding dress on national television with all my friends looking on. That’s just me, though and I’ll never own a wedding dress anyway.
Before the ceremony, we see a brief meeting with Chanita and Brittany at the W’s pool.
Brittany tells Chanita about David’s decision to move in with her, and also talks about how her mom died in a head-on collision when she was younger. It is, to put it briefly, a poignant discussion on both her past and future.
Then, it’s time for some “pre-wedding pampering, Amanda-style,” according to Melani. Doing things Amanda-style involves flying in an eyelash lady and having you and your friends shot up with Botox.
Chanita watches this with rapt attention.
I don’t have any Oreos, but I’m so on the same page. Modern beautification is fascinating.
Meanwhile, we watch David moving into Brittany’s place and here’s how non-fraught this episode is:
He argues with her about wanting to pay more rent than her. Oh, and he says that he plans on putting a ring on her finger soon. All this guy is missing is the shining armor!
The big day arrives! Everyone is curious if Pilar will come. Chanita’s life experience suggests as much, as she declares, “Weddings, funerals, babies. You can get the worst enemies together for them three things.” A pocket book of Chanitaisms can’t be too far off can it? Her capacity for wisdom is even larger than her hair.
Dawn enters the room…
No, Dawn. It’s a bouquet.
But behind it is the wedding dress! Dawn is speechless and teary. And then, undoubtedly filled with pride, for you see, as she tells us…
“It still fits.” Amazing. It really would have put a damper on this day had it not.
The ceremony happens and it’s lovely.
It comes down to two good-looking people talk about how much they love each other and how they complete each other’s lives. What’s not to coo at?
When the ceremony is over, Dawn approaches her friends and says, “I’m so glad everyone’s here.” Except, everyone is not here: Pilar never showed up. Melani arranges a meeting with Pilar to get to the bottom of her absence, opening the door for our sole point of tension:
Dawn and Chanita versus Pilar
Melani asks Pilar why she didn’t attend Dawn’s vow renewal. “Seriously? Who in their right mind would think I was really gonna go?” is Pilar’s answer. And yeah, seriously: did anyone really expect her to come, given all that’s happened? From this show alone, Pilar has become notorious for not showing up places (and by “places,” I mean the hospital and this wedding). At one point Pilar calls Melani “dudette” with a straight face. It is hilarious. They talk a bit more, but they’re interrupted when they spy Chanita and Dawn coming toward them. “Oh wow,” is Melani’s response. A side-eye is Pilar’s.
Dawn sits down and says she wants to set the record straight: she doesn’t hate or envy Pilar. They’ve bumped heads and Dawn has apologized, but she’s never heard the same from Pilar. Pilar doesn’t feel obligated to apologize. “Why on earth would I want to be around someone who had that much disdain for me?” is her reason for not attending the wedding.
It’s true, though. It’s just really weird that given their dynamic, Pilar would be expected to do anything at this point. It’s a little strange that there’s still so much anger directed at her, when no friendship has been established and, really, the contrary is more the case. Dawn tells Pilar that she doesn’t seek out drama. Pilar wonders why she has it with her. And really, Dawn might not be looking for drama, but she certainly doesn’t avoid it. It’s why she’s sitting across from Pilar now.
Dawn says if they’re going to be cool, they’re going to be cool. Can’t argue with that! However, Dawn is tired of the bickering. “I got too much other s*** going on in my life to keep coming back to this,” she rants.
Chanita agrees. Then why did they, in fact, come back to his? Melani tells them that this is the most toxic, foul thing to be in the middle of. Chanita bulldozes this sentiment by starting to rant about Pilar not showing up to the wedding. She’s seriously bellowing at her. “Do you see your approach to people?” asks Pilar. It’s true — the sentiment is that they want Pilar involved, but it’s kind of hard to really see the worth in an invitation that is delivered by screaming.
Dawn says thinks she’s wasted her time at the table. She has a husband and kids that love her. “I don’t have time for bulls***!” is how she ends the episode. Given that next week is the season finale, though, something tells me that this isn’t the last we’ve seen of the bulls***.