Dawn Neufeld’s Playbook – Football Wives Finale

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Dawn Neufeld of Football Wives has agreed to blog for us, giving us weekly behind-the-scenes insight and dishing on each of her show’s episodes. Her take on the show’s finale is below

Have vs. Have Not

Football Wives finale Sunday” was a highly anticipated day in the Neufeld household. In addition to the airing of our final episode, we’d been invited by Amanda Davis to sit in her field-level suite at Cowboys stadium to see our home team take on the rival Washington Redskins. The Cowboys took an early lead but the defense faltered and the Redskins tied it up late in the fourth quarter. Our own David Buehler ended up kicking the game-winning field goal. The stadium erupted with excitement – we were so happy for him and Brittany.

Sunday was also a “first” for Ryan – it was his first time attending an NFL game when he wasn’t suited up on the field playing. I’m sure it was a little emotional for him and I bet he imagined himself on that field in front of 100,000 cheering fans making tackles and catching passes. But after standing for a quarter, Ryan had to sit down because his back started aching. We were reminded of the toll the game he’s played and loved for so many years has taken on him physically – he couldn’t play another season if he wanted to. I think knowing you can’t be on the field playing makes it a little easier to sit back and enjoy the show.

Shortly after kickoff, my cell phone started buzzing with texts, phone calls, Twitter mentions and Facebook messages. This was the first Sunday all season I haven’t caught the early airing of the show, and I’d have to wait all day to see what all the chatter was about. One message on Twitter said, “Just watched. Time to unfollow you. Wow. You can give it but you can’t take it…” “Take what?” I wondered out loud. Another message read, “I’m sorry but you’re a BITCH!! Let people live!!… How the hell you an attorney and mom?” Someone was attacking my credibility and ability to be a good mother based on what they saw on the show? Knowing that the finale featured our cast trip to New York, I thought back to what happened on the trip and while I knew there had been drama, I didn’t think it was all that bad and I wondered what I’d done to become the person people love to hate. A good friend who I love and trust then wrote, “Not liking your portrayal. You and Chanita look bitter. Poor editing.” As much as I’d anticipated the season finale, the comments had me pretty worried.

As I watched the show, I understood why people were saying I was bitter and jealous. If I were watching the episode and didn’t know me, I’d probably be going off as well. Why wouldn’t people think I’m overly consumed with Pilar when EVERY SINGLE SCENE I’m in, I’m talking about her? I’ve always taken responsibility for my behavior on the show (as I think everyone should), and I stand by the fact that what viewers have seen was real and not staged. What I cannot stand is when only part of the story is told. To see a four-day trip wrapped up in so much conflict and drama was disheartening. I certainly didn’t spend my time away from Ryan and the kids focusing on Pilar, though the editors sure would like you to think I did.

There are a couple things I noticed while watching the episode – did anyone else notice how busted everyone’s hair looked? We made it to New York just as tropical storm Nicole gripped the city and the humidity was awful. Many women reading this can relate to the havoc humidity can wreak on one’s coif. I think we took the Texas humidity with us to the big city.

Another thing I noticed – viewers don’t get to see how much fun we had in New York because of the drama. We took a private cruise around the city – what an awesome way to take in the sights! We marveled at the skyline, reflected when we closed in on Ground Zero, and saluted when we neared the Statue of Liberty. We had a ball! And the night Chanita, Erin, Brittany, Jay and I went out on the town, we didn’t get in until after 4 a.m.! We danced on couches singing “Come on Eileen” in one club and Diddy’s “Hello, Good Morning” in another. We hit up three different clubs that night and even took pictures in an empty Times Square before heading back to the Paramount where we were staying. I hadn’t had that much fun in years. It truly was a night to remember and Chanita and I talked about how it was one of those “bucket list” outings we’ll remember forever.

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Our first night in New York, we ate dinner at The Strand and enjoyed the fabulous views of the Empire State Building from the rooftop. The clouds were rolling in and created an almost-magical backdrop for the evening. I meant what I said to Chanita that night – Pilar wasn’t thinking about us, so we had to make sure we didn’t let her ruin our trip. I was as confused as everyone else watching the episode – how could I go from telling Chanita we needed to move on to talking about Pilar in all the subsequent scenes? Interestingly enough, I think back to New York – Pilar and I were on the same return flight to Dallas after our trip. We stood about a foot apart waiting to board the plane when Pilar told me, “You know I don’t have a problem with you, right?” Could’ve fooled me…

The dinner on our last night in New York was a bummer for all of us. While the Pilar-vs.-everyone dynamic was expected, no one saw the Dawn-Chanita-Melani argument coming. Many people don’t understand why I became so upset with Melani at dinner. Truth is, she’d become a confidante and good friend. I often had long conversations with Melani while we were shooting the show. We’d talk about the “work” aspect of shooting a reality show and the relationships and conflicts that were forming. The week before we left for New York, I’d expressed to Melani my only concern about participating on the show – the fact that it could potentially affect my career as an attorney depending on how it was edited. I wondered if I’d be made to look like I drink excessively since the cameras always seemed to focus on my choice of beverage even though many of the other ladies were having a cocktail as well. I’d used profanity and taken a spin around a stripper pole on the back of a boat – activities that some might think are socially and/or professionally unacceptable – and it was all caught on camera. Melani told me to pray about it and tried to assure me that everything would be okay.

Being our resident peacemaker, Melani was understandably upset about the drama and tension. She expressed that she was tired of people being thrown under the bus for the sake of television. We were walking that fine line between creating an entertaining (i.e. drama-filled) television show while staying true to the women we are. It was hard to accept that the line was being crossed almost daily while we were filming, but my television background helped me understand that folks wouldn’t be tuning into Football Wives to watch us sing “Kumbaya.”

Viewers weren’t privy to these conversations I’d had with Melani so they wouldn’t understand why I was so sensitive to the fact that she’d bring up my career to call me out on my behavior towards Pilar. Melani had just thrown me under the same bus she was tired of everyone being under. I was incredibly hurt – I felt like I’d told someone my most intimate secrets in confidence and that she’d turned around and shouted them from the top of the Empire State Building. I know Melani never would’ve intentionally hurt me, and think she realized a major line had been crossed, which is why she immediately came up to me and apologized. I can appreciate what she was trying to accomplish that night, but I think she was trying to fix something that was beyond repair. It took us a couple of weeks to recover from that night, but we were eventually able to move on.

Another thing I found interesting about the episode – hearing all the name-calling Pilar did when she was around others or in front of the camera. Pilar has gone on and on about how we were always talking behind her back about her. I’m pretty sure I’ve told her directly exactly how I feel. I watched the episode and heard Pilar call us (Chanita and I) swine and “have nots.” Apparently neither of those are as bad as calling someone a “bitch.” She called me a green-eyed monster insinuating, like many have just come out and said over the last couple of months, that I am jealous of her. What bothered me the most is when she portrayed me as someone who is not grateful and thankful for what I’ve been given which can’t be further from the truth. I can say this as loud and as often as possible, but what good will it do if people think the “real” me is what they see in a show as drama-filled as possible edited into 22 minutes a week? Would anyone care if I had been accurately portrayed as someone content with her life?

The “have vs. have not”-theme was ingrained in viewers from episode one – it made it easy for people to call Chanita and I jealous and bitter when the issue of money and status, and the alleged lack of it, has been the central theme of our season. I couldn’t quite put my finger on why I was so bothered by the finale. Then it hit me – I have never felt like a “have not” until I watched the final show. All this time I’ve considered myself a “have.” I have a healthy family, we have a roof over our heads, we have jobs and income. While we aren’t as financially secure as we used to be, we have been given plenty. I have an education and career. Ryan and I were so grateful every time he stepped foot onto an NFL field that we weren’t consumed with superstar status and I’d never contemplated that we weren’t “haves.” All this, and I was portrayed on the show as not being content with my life. To add insult to injury, the one person who actually did focus her attention on status and money during production was portrayed as the victim of relentless, unprovoked bashing and hatred, which couldn’t have been further from the truth.

The season finale lacked closure, but luckily for us, we had plenty in real life. After wrapping everyone congregated at Amanda’s house for one last hurrah. Well, almost everyone. Amanda said in New York, “You are who you hang out with.” I think back to the love and camaraderie that filled that room and I figure, I’m in good company.

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You can contact Dawn via Facebook and Twitter.

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  1. Lavender says:

    Dawn you can try to clean up the way you acted towards Pilar all you want & try to pretend that Vh1 made you look a certain way all you want but they couldn’t make you look jealous of Pilar if you weren’t focusing so much time on her. They can’t make the words coming out of your mouth about Pilar come out your mouth unless you were saying it. They can’t make your jealous actions towards Pilar up unless you were doing them. You and Chanita are jealous of Pilar plain & simple. In life some people are jealous of other people for whatever reason and you and Chanita are jealous of Pilar. When she didn’t come to stuff y’all had a problem with her and when she did come to stuff y’all had a problem with her. It was just so obvious & ridiculous. I can see in the looks department why Chanita was jealous because she looks like a big man dressed like a woman but Dawn you are a nice looking woman so you have no reason to be jealous of Pilar’s looks so I don’t know if you are but you are definitely jealous of her wealth because you focus on it quite a bit. Always saying she thought she was better then the rest of y’all, I think y’all thought she was better than y’all because she never said she was better so how can you tell somebody what they think. A show can only edit stuff that actually happened and truth be told Pilar was on you & Chanita’s mind most of the show because y’all talked about her ad naseum.

  2. WHATISGOINGON says:

    I have not watched the entire season, but from the last 2 episodes I have watched, Dawn and Chanita are truly jealous of Pilar. If you cannot stand someone, why do you care if they show up to whatever activity is going on? I agree with Pilar, you are going to talk about me if I’m there, and when I am not there. I watched Pilar on her show with her husband about 2.5 years ago, and her and Deon try and lead a more Christian life, so dancing on stripper poles and hanging out in clubs is maybe behavior Pilar did not want to display on tv to her husband, kids, church members, etc.. That does not mean she is trying to be anti-social. They should respect her decisions, just like they expect her to respect them on their decisions.

  3. geniale says:

    DAWN ,DAWN,DAWN………….I DON’T THINK U WERE TOTALLY HONEST IN THIS BLOG ,BLAH,BLAH,BLAH I STILL THINK U IMMATURE ,U BITTER ,UNSECURE U STILL HAVE ANGER TOWARD ONE PERSON WHICH IS PILAR,BECAUSE SHE’S PRETTIER THAN U GUYS ,HER FAMILY IS FINANCIALY SECURE,SHE’S IS TRUE TO WHO SHE IS,SHE CLASSY COMPARE TO YOU GUYS (GHETTO RATS).

  4. Lovely says:

    Dawn, I have to agree w/ the other comments. Throughout the whole season I never heard anything come out your mouth on the show or on your blog that Pilar did or said to you that warranted the numerous attacks on her. The yacht scene was the worst. Does Pilar think she is better than the rest of you? Maybe. Did she really do what it takes to bond with you ladies? maybe not. But none of that is a excuse to constantly attack somebody. Pilar did not make you and Chanita look bad. You and Chanita did that all on your own. A grown, intelligent woman like yourself should have taken the high road like the rest of the women and not have cared less what Pilar was doing.

  5. raychris says:

    Dawn when I first started watching the show I thought you would be the one I liked I have a specail needs child also. I am not a Pilar fan so I am very biased. As each episode went on it seemed your actions got worse. I over looked Chanita cause from the get go she was loud and a drama queen hanging with her made you worse you starting being a loud drama queen too. You can’t keep blaming Vh1 for the way you were portrayed because they didn’t make you act the way you did and say the things you said. Just because someone says they are cool with you that does not make you friends. I wouldn’t be your friend either if when you get mad you call a name quick and then you apologize and want and apology back then when you don’t get it istead of being the bigger person and letting it go you go off calling names again. Pilar has her ways but some people close themselves off and keep a distance from people that cause DRAMA. Maybe Pilar knew not to act like you guys cause it on tv and she represents her family like you should have been thinking about. Since you didn’t like the way the “made you look” I guess you won’t be on there next season if there will be a next season.

  6. lovely says:

    Hi Kali I don’t think everyone is jumping on Dawn because of who Pilar was. Truth be told I wouldn’t be surprised if Pilar does really think she is better than all the rest of the women. I think most people have issue with Dawn because she acted like a crazy woman on the show and then she jumps on her blog every week acting like a victim and defending her actions. You attack Pilar for walking away… well I applaud her for it. There are plenty of people in this world that will rub you the wrong way but to blame them for the way you react to that is a cop out! Sorry but Dawn and Chanita were immature and childish and they have no one to blame but themselves. Also, if I were Dawn and my husband planned a surprise renewal ceremony for Pilar, a woman I didn’t get along with would have been the last person on my mind… her comment on that day alone says it all!

  7. Lavender says:

    @Kali so Dawn mentioning Pilar’s name all the time in a negative way doesn’t at all seem like a jealous person to you? especially when you can’t come up with a valid reason why you don’t like them. the reasons she gave for not liking Pilar was not enough to dislike her. even if Pilar thinks she’s better than them, why should that bother them unless they agree with her? if somebody thought they were better than me then so what, i know that they aren’t so why would i spend my time concerning myself with it? i’m not a huge fan of Pilar or anything but right is right and wrong is wrong & it does appear that Dawn & Chanita just unfairly targeted Pilar from the beginning of the show and it seems it’s because of who she’s married to so that’s probably why they weren’t picking on Amanda as well for having lots of money. Deion Sanders is huge in the football world so clearly they were intimidated by that. if Pilar was not interested in being friends with them then so what just keep it moving. why would you want to be friends with someone you claim doesn’t want to be your friend?

  8. Sean D says:

    Way to delete the truth again Dawn, you are pathetic. I guess you just can’t handle the truth but as I said I can diagnose those problems

  9. SpiritedDiva says:

    I have a problem with a few of these comments below
    1.) people are making judgments on Dawn’s role in this and have not even seen ALL the shows. So how can you speak to the end when you haven’t seen the beginning.
    2.) People want Dawn to take responsibility for her words and actions but that same standard isn’t being held for (in this case) Pilar.

    I don’t condone all of Dawn’s actions and ways and have spoken very directly about it. I don’t think you should ever let someone push you to the point where they get you to act out, screaming, throwing stuff and so on. That said, I’ve been there (many of us have) so I understand how it can happen.

    I don’t condone Pilar’s actions. From the beginning the women said they didn’t appreciate her acting like she was ‘better’ than everyone else. It did come out in how she would speak condescendingly to them at times, and how NON concerned and flip Pilar was about Chanita’s medical emergency. I get why she may not have gone to the hospital…but to role your eyes and make light of it was in poor taste. YOU GUYS SEEM TO IGNORE those things. Now that Pilar has distinguished herself as a HAVE and they are HAVE NOTS she obviously DOES think she’s better than the other ladies. TO IGNORE THAT is to paint an INACCURATE picture of the whole ordeal.

    I am not a FAN per se of either.I respect them both but I’m not going to write from a fan support opinion…no one is a victim here. Both women contributed to the debacle that became the focus of drama for this show. I hope they have learned from it and can move on.

    Being in the industry I know how editing works on these shows and you all should be aware that they have to time lapse days into minutes. How crazy would YOUR life look if we only saw the negative things you did and said strung together and not the positive. This is the case in how all of these women were portrayed.

    VH1 is going for RATINGS. This is NOT A DOCUMENTARY, this entertainment television under the heading ‘reality’ tv. ‘Reality’- meaning they can slightly bend and manipulate real life events for the sake of compelling, drama-filled content.

    At the end of the day I think the women were looking for honest, authentic friendships with Pilar –who is the most highly profiled wife. When Pilar showed she wasn’t really feeling them like that…they should have backed off and enjoyed hanging with or without her and not even mention her name. I don’t think they’re jealous, it reads more like they may have admired her and then became disappointed that she wasn’t what they hoped, and put-off by her rejection.

    I say to Dawn–move on. Hell you have brains and are a practicing attorney. Pilar will be fine too with her business ventures and Deion’s post football opportunities.

    As far as the statements below about who lives a most ‘Christian lifestyle’– don’t be so quick to judge outward actions. First, God judges the heart not our actions for a reason. THAT’S where truth lies. Jesus himself came down on the Sadducees and Pharisees for ‘pretending’ to live so holy but not operate in the Love of God. Spiritual growth is an opportunity for both parties in this scenario.

  10. Lovely says:

    @SpiritedDiva I totally agree with you except for a few points you made. I believe so many are coming down on Dawn because this is her blog and her view on the show. I believe if the tone of her blog was more remorseful about how she acted and took responsibilty for what she did instead of trying to blame everyone else (vh1 editing, Pilar, Melani, etc) then she wouldn’t get attacked so badly. And no matter how it was edited unless they changed the words that came out of her mouth she did and said some very immature things.

    We all act outside our character so no one can judge, but I think our issue is the fact that during the whole season she kept saying Pilar wouldn’t own up to the stuff she did, yet week after week Dawn is blaming her actions on everybody but the right person: herself. I truly believe that if this was Pilar’s blog and she was trying to defend her actions she would be getting the same reaction.

    In my opinion (not judgment) Chanita, Dawn and Pilar could have handled things better. Its not about picking sides but if you agree to blog and express your opinion be prepared to get another point of view on things!

    Finally, I just wanted to say that Reality TV is not new in our culture. We ALL know what it is all about. “Sensationalism”! So for all the people out there who choose to put yourself out there please don’t complain when people don’t react the way you expected!

  11. GeRod says:

    Pilar’s use of the word swine is an idiom used by Jesus. Wikipedia: Pearls before swine refers to a quotation from Matthew 7:6 in the discourse on holiness, a section of Jesus’s Sermon on the Mount, implying that things (such as pearls) should not be put in front of people (or in this case, swine) who do not appreciate their value.
    Was Jesus calling people swine or was he using this idiom to make a point?
    This is different from repeatedly calling someone/anyone a “b”. As far as Pilar’s take on “have nots”, that’s a description that Chanita has constantly used since the very first episode (@SpiritedDiva I HAVE watched all of the shows and I have commented on every one of Dawn’s blogs)! Pilar went on to say that those “have nots” have more than most others (the same point that I’ve mentioned before as well), but you seem to have missed that point as well.
    I currently work as an Optical Test Engineer, but before that I worked for the DOJ in their Litigation Support Department as a Trial Site Project Supervisor doing document acquisition and then went on to work for Jones, Day, Reavis & Pogue. Believe me when I say that on many occasion, I’ve wanted to tell people off and call them a “b”, but proper work edicate and respect for myself and my employer kept me from doing so. That was Melani’s point, and not her trying to put your business out there. If you never even one conversation about your job, I believe that Melani still would have made that same point…in your job you do not go around getting upset and calling people b’s…common sense! When young kids go around cursing and are asked “do you kiss your Mother with that mouth?” is not getting in their business either, it’s making a point! I guess you missed that one too!
    Now if anyone who was in Pilar’s situation was constantly hearing others talk about being a “have not” and you being a “have”, and was under constant SUDDEN verbal assaults, then what other conclusion could you come to other than they are jealous of what they perceive you have?
    Envy (also called invidiousness): is best defined as an emotion that “occurs when a person lacks another’s (perceived) superior quality, achievement, or possession and either desires it or wishes that the other lacked it.”[1] Envy can also derive from a sense of low self-esteem that results from an upward social comparison threatening a person’s self image: another person has something that the envier considers to be important to have. If the other person is perceived to be similar to the envier, the aroused envy will be particularly intense, because it signals to the envier that it just as well could have been he or she who had the desired object.[2][3] Bertrand Russell said envy was one of the most potent causes of unhappiness.[4] It is a universal and most unfortunate aspect of human nature because not only is the envious person rendered unhappy by his envy, but also wishes to inflict misfortune on others. Covetousness: 1. Excessively and culpably desirous of the possessions of another. See Synonyms at jealous. 2. Marked by extreme desire to acquire or possess Jealousy: feeling resentment against someone because of that person’s rivalry, success, or advantages.
    I keep on reposting this in hopes that you’ll take a look in the mirror and see you for who you allowed youself to have become on this show! I also agree that you have so much to look forward to each day and that you’ve been truly Blessed, so please stop counting other’s Blessings because theirs weren’t meant for you!

  12. GeRod says:

    Hey Dawn, I know you’re reading this, but you probably still won’t answer this one (1) question…what EXACTLY did Pilar say about your kids on the radio? You keep tweeting about it and some others have called you out on this subject, yet you still haven’t answered! Did you hear the interview or even read the show’s transcripts? I DID hear it and it WASN’T about your children, it was about PARENTING!!! Will you ever address this or will you keep on feeding lies and misinformation to your minions?
    Blog and tweet about that!!!!

  13. Carlas says:

    Not gonna call you out your name or anything like that. I would just like to say that you held on to that situation with Pilar too much. It seems you are bitter and jealous. Maybe not, but that is how it comes off. Melani didn’t insult your career. She asked you a logical question. You have to learn to deal with situations better. It’s people that have alot less than you and get along just fine. Its poor people whose child or children have health issues and they find a way to make. It seems like you have some things to work on and just because Chanita co-signs whats going on doesn’t make it right. Homegirl has some major issues herself. Alot of double standards in my eyes. God Bless

  14. Claude says:

    Did anyone else notice that Dawn had louis vitton bags as her luggage bags? You speak like you’re a havenot but you obviously have more than alot of us. At the dinner table the first thing you (Dawn) say is ” Is it just us tonight or are we expecting more” and even Chanita says “who cares.” Then you go on and say oh we had so much fun last night because we had the right ppl and then you kinda apologize to amanda bc oh wait she wasnt there either. The Tape dont lie, just own up to your pettiness and maybe better things can come for you. The things you and Chanita blame Pilar for are things you dont admit for yourselves, as someone else just blasted you on the radio comment. Grow up, you ladies are in your 30′s not teens, stop being so bitter and mean.

  15. kodi says:

    you can try an blame editing all you want but how you and chanita came off on the show were the real you how yall treated pilar including ur behavior was unacceptable all yall did was talk about her an put her down an be fake n 2faced how can you call someone your friend or expect someone to be ur friend when all you do is talk junk about them an behind ther back everytime they come around ..thas not a true friend or someone i would trust. all during the show was the same thing yall attacking pilar and causing petty arguments grow up an get over it already cuz that mess isnt cute or a good look why do yall allow her to get under ur skin what is it about her thas soo negative and why do yall feel like she owe yall an apology if yall are the ones making and causing the drama right along with amanda yall claim yall are christians but your attitueds an how yall behave on the show is anythin but a true christian ..an you and dawn clare out yall goin broke but how is that when your steady spending money specificly on things yall dont need like tats an ect when that money should be put up towards your family.i think yall shouldve been more worried about what yall gona do with ur fam not bein in the nfl anymore tryna come up with a plan b an saving money instead of all this focus on pilar.. all of this going back in fourth with pilar is getin old worry bout ur own lifes an futures instead of focusing so much on her thats what really made yall look jealous an envious too much focused on her an not yourselves all of that fussing an arguing with pilar is pathetic yall treatin pilar the same way yall treated mercedees an now milani like grow up seriously we dont see them on tv showin off ther tails like you and chanita all season erin brittany mercedees pilar an milani have been stayin cool causing no drama worryin bout themselves and doin them not engaging in this petty high school mess you and chanita created and started i wish i would have gotin to see more of there stories then what was shown

  16. SpiritedDiva says:

    @Lovely, I see your point of view, and agree with many things you say. Like @Kali I was pressing to see if those leaving comments condoned Pilar’s behavior throughout the season blindly or were truly weighing everything even nuances, because things are never BLACK/WHITE there’s always a GRAY area. You DO NOT have to yell, throw things or cuss to be mean. In fact, some of the most notorious B-ches in business talk low and never wrinkle a brow. So for me bad behavior extends beyond the obvious.In dealing with behavior and relational communications you learn about the layers and textures that contribute to a fallout or break down. It can often be referred to as passive-aggressive.

    @GeRod- Dawn did discuss the comments made about her son. They were about him ‘causing a scene and throwing tantrums’. Dawn took issue with this because her son is autistic and his ‘tantrums’ aren’t those of a child who isn’t disciplined, they’re caused by various things that ‘set him off’ because of his condition.

    Personally, I’m over the whole housewife phenom. I can’t think of one show on VH1 or Bravo that has ever left us inspired by the behavior shown. There will always be disagreements and such…but these shows thrive on shining a spotlight on the worst of what women can accomplish when together…not how powerful we are when we are on one accord.

  17. Codebleudiva says:

    Please do not let it be a season 2 for Football wives. The drama was centered around one person Pilar. The reason because it was centered around her is because the other chicks are jealous. Namely Dawn and Manita, I mean Chanita. Being a female from Detroit, I don’t need her repping us beautiful women from the D.

  18. Lavender says:

    @SpiritedDiva i’m not saying that pilar is an angel either but every time dawn writes a blog she always has something to say about pilar & on the show it appeared that her & chanita started stuff with pilar for no reason. could pilar have been more friendly with them? yes but if she didn’t want to be then why are they so upset about it? people can choose who they want to be friends with & clearly she didn’t want to be close friends with them and that’s her choice. but they didn’t even like her & always had negative stuff to say so why did they even invite her to stuff or want to be her friend in the first place?

  19. GeRod says:

    @SpiritedDiva Please direct me to where Dawn addressed Pilar talking about her kids. For your information Pilar spoke on parenting and not Dawn’s children. Pilar said that we as parents can not expect our children to behave any differently if they see US having tantrums and throwing objects and we can not scold our daughters for climbing on a cat scratch post because it’s (in Dawn’s eyes) too close to being on a stripper pole, and then US as the parent climb our drunken butt up and start pole dancing for the whole world to see! That was Pilar’s point, but Dawn again took constructive criticism and turned it into a personal attack against her! She did the same with Melani. As an educated attorney who is trained to listen and to get to the truth, she’s not getting the job done…case dismissed!
    And the only reason Dawn can not wrinkle her brow is because of that botox she puts into her Klingon sized forehead!

  20. Danielle says:

    GeRod you are telling it! I just can’t get over Dawn bowing down to Chanita… Especially when Chanita said she would walk Dawn like a dog! There was no way whether I was right or wrong in a situation with that person I would still be friends or frenemies with Chanita! …and on a better note to call me off my job to tell me that! Then Dawn expected Melani to bow down to her hating on Pilar… Dawn you don’t have that much! You are Chanita’s pupit, a yes man. Plus even if Pilar was acting out she was not acting out on camera where things that you say and do goes down in history… Bright!

  21. SpiritedDiva says:

    GeRod I’m aware of the comments you’re referring to regarding parenting. I was specifically answering your question regarding what derogatory remark was made concerning her son. I did that. The interview I heard was on blog talk radio. You can probably Google it.

  22. GeRod says:

    Thank you @SpiritedDiva for the link. So with that as I’ve said and even as Pilar reiterated in her interview, “we can not expect better if we do not do better”. In speaking about parenting, how can a person do so unless the person they are addressing has children? I can’t tell you you drive safely if you don’t have a car! Pilar spoke about Dawn setting examples for her kids, regardless if one, both or neither of them has autism. Dawn in her OWN words in her last blog admitted that she talked about Pilar’s AND Chanita’s parenting skills, this on top of Dawn having already having questioned, judged and commented (to a 4 year old child) Chanita’s parenting skills and financial situation. So Dawn is a repeat offender, while Pilar was trying to make a point our actions matching our words! But again as Dawn took melani’s comments as a personal attack on her and “disrespected” Dawn’s profession, she is taking Pilar pointing out as to how we as parents have to be consistent, as a personal attack against her kids! I guess all of us would be wrong if we saw an adult smoking drugs in front of a child and not say anything in fear of “talking about their kids”? Dawn is as delusional as the Salahi’s on RHW of DC!

  23. renma says:

    Dawn you are still very hot to me and intelligent too. I think it is unfair how you have been betrayed. Pilar is a snob and anyone with any part of a mind can see that. She is just riding Deon’s coattail and stole him from his wife.

  24. stacy says:

    Dawn, and the the manly looking woman? need to stop being so bitter,mad and jealous of Pilar. She cant walk in the room without them getting so jealous and because they are ugly and broke. Pilar is to beautiful to hang with these monkeys. Dawn and Shanita or who ever the man/lady is they are angry black women.Pilar walks in the room and those monkeys go in a rage so jealous.Pilar cant help she is so pretty and has hair to die for. Pilar stop hanging with these broke bitter angry things please your to beautiful for them.

  25. stacy says:

    Pilar is gorgeous and these rats cant stand it. Dawn stop being so jealous you can never look as good as pilar and it kills your anorexic ass. Pilar to beautiful to be on that show with those unattractive women.Dawn you went into another rage when pilar bought a dress cause you broke and cant afford one.

  26. stacy says:

    Dawn its stacy again,i really dont like how you talked to Pilar you need to apolojize with the quickness. I wont stoop your level again and call names. I am a black woman also and feel you and your friend chanita, should not be embarrassing black women like this acting like monkeys and carrying on like the devil.

  27. ladyA says:

    Those women attacked Pilar from day 1 for leaving bible study early. something that didn’t have to be a big deal and Chanita went on an all out attack on her so why would Pilar see about her in a hospital or want to attend a lot of events with them. Chanita acted a fool for ratings, she is a bufoon and Character who will do anything for ratings and Dawn you are just bitter and jealous of Pilar because that fact that she didn’t go see Chanita in the hospital was no reason for you to throw a cookie or her or call her names. When you feel someone thinks they are above you, you pray for them and keep it moving. Like Pilar did for yall. you should take notes from her

  28. Nicole says:

    First, I just wanted to start by saying I really enjoy this show. I am also very pleased that other viewers have been able to decipher the truth about the characters.

    My favorite two individuals are Pilar and Melani. Melani is a sweetheart and I believe she genuinely wants to see everyone get along. I love Pilar because she is a strong, smart and intelligent woman. Both are beautiful and highly talented.

    I am extremely disappointed in Dawn’s behavior. She should know better. I think Pilar hit the nail on the head when she referred to Dawn as the “green eyed monster.” Clearly, Dawn has a problem with Pilar because she is jealous of her. She is jealous of the fact that Pilar and her husband are still doing well financially. I would challenge Dawn and tell her she needs to grow up. First and foremost, you can’t be jealous of someone else and what they have – you don’t know how long or how much they had to go through to get there. Dawn should be celebrating Pilar’s success because she is another strong black woman.

    Chanita’s jealousy is not worth mentioning. She clearly has some self esteem issues and has to be constantly patted on the back to feel worthy and/or to be the center of attention. Those are issues she would need to address in counseling.

    Dawn, even after your explanation, I still believe your reaction to Melani’s comment about your profession and the use of the “B” word was over-the-top, unnecessary and unwarranted. Melani is a good person and a good friend. She was just trying to point out a very true fact.

    I wish everyone the best of luck in their future endeavors and I hope Chanita and Dawn can rise above the hating.

  29. Cali says:

    Dawn,

    I think we saw your character very early on – when you decided it was your place to speak to Chanita’s kids about them doing without certain things because of their mom’s commitment to her charity. That was low, crossed the line and pretty much set the stage for things to come with you – none of which were good. I remember that moment because it was the beginning of your “act” unraveling – that was YOUR nasty attitude and actions on display and it had nothing to do with Pilar. Hmmm, I wonder if Pilar ever did anything THAT nasty to any of you???

    You can blame Pilar all you want, but your reactions were your own – own it. Also, most of the things you mention about Pilar’s behavior had absolutely nothing to do with you directly so it wasn’t your place to get angry, or to take others issues with Pilar out on her.

    Also, in light of the conversation you say you had with Milani about your career, I think it was a bit of a low blow for her to make that comment. However, it shouldn’t have sparked such anger, but as we’ve seen in EVERY episode, you are not able to control your emotions when you get upset.

    Lastly, as viewers we can only comment on what we see, not what was left on the editing room floor or what happened off camera. From what we’ve seen, your continual anger toward Pilar was over the top and the reasons you give for it simply don’t add up. Everything you’ve mentioned that she “did” were minor infractions at best, so we’re left to ask ourselves “what is the real reason for all this anger,” and most of us have come to the obvious conclusion (jealousy) which is supported by these rambling blogs that mention Pilar’s name too many times to count, and are filled with weak excuses and questionable time lines.

    Even if Pilar were the worst person on the planet, you still behaved the way you did and there’s no excuse for it, so please stop trying to explain it away.

  30. Pink_Child001 says:

    Dawn, Dawn Dawn I don’t know where to begin. I will start with your career. Watching the show since the first episode I never got the career conscious feel from you. Being an attorney is more than a career it’s a lifestyle, and sweetie no matter what you may say about editing your actions from beginning to end made you look really bad. It was really disappointing to see you as an educated beautiful black women act as you did and bring down another beautiful black women. You and Chanita this entire season up-played what good people you are, but yet you guys dogged Pilar every chance you got. What a shame, I seriously expected better from you. This whole you being jealous of Pilar Sanders is outrageously true, rather you want to admit or not sweetie it’s a lot of truth to that. Actions speak much louder than words. I mean come on you mentioned her in your recent blog over 10 times, explain that? you can’t. What’s so strange about this whole situation is why are you so angry with her in the first place? what have she ever done to you? Hell most of the season you and ghetto loud ass Chanita had the spot light, so why are you so mad at Pilar? something to think about? Maybe Pilar shut herself out from getting to know you women is because most of you give off bitterness, and misery, and like the saying goes “misery loves company” you did a fantastic job and proving it to be true. I will not go on because I have said enough, but I just want you to know Dawn that your bitterness, craziness and disrespect toward others out weighted all the good things about you on the show. One last thing, you should really consider not being as friendly with Chanita she’s not really a friend, and she makes you look really bad too.

    “Surround yourself with people of good quality, for it is better to be alone than in bad company”

  31. raven says:

    The one thing I want to know is why the white girls were portrayed in such a dignified manner and the black girls were loud, abnoxious and constantly squabbling?

  32. Avani says:

    Dawn….you’re such a jealous person and it’s ridiculous how you constantly went after Pilar. Pilar is just something your not and that my dear is a LADY. I think you’re such a bitter person because of how your husband career failed. Get over it damn, Pilar don’t want to be friends with You and Chanita. I don’t blame her at all, when all you do is talk bs about her all the time. It made the show look horrible, I really don’t think it was 1 show without you ghetto girls talking trash about Pilar. Pilar is a beautiful person inside and out and she’s definately a better person because she walked away from you guys. Grow up and take care of your kids and stop blaming everyone for your problems. VH1 didn’t make you look like a fool…you did.Chanita she such a hood rat she doesn’t have to say a word…just look at her. Pilar and the white women except for the trucker one had class….hats off to th ereal ladies.

  33. The real deal says:

    It’s always nice to have a blog so you can clean up or explain what you dont want to be taken out of context. I’ve watched the whole season and the verdict is in, from show 1 the women had it our for Pilar. Chaunita and Dawn seemed like they were very bitter about their places financially and in the world of football; their husbands are not relevant anymore and soon money will be an issue. Much of the ill feelings for Pilar was the women projecting. It doesnt matter how the producers edit your words and actions, its the fact that you gave them the material to portray you the way you did. I don’t feel Pilar was much of a threat on the show, she wasn’t negative and didnt hold on to the drama, she just didnt pretend to be in a Soroity like most of these women tried to portray.
    I feel it was very tacky how Dawn put out her families financial business. She seemed more concerned about fininaces and her husband being out of 50K then if he was doing okay after his injury. It was especially interesting learning she was an Attorney!?!?Doesn’t that line of work generate income? Chaunita made a comment about how people like Dawn are struggling and need money financially but people like Pilar can live in a big house with 15 bathrooms and living off Deion’s money?!?! If they weren’t bitter/ jealous nothing like this would have come out of her mouth. All the women husbands were given the same opportunities but each took different routes in their careers.

    There seemed to be Prayer meetings and Jesus tatoos but there were alot of hate radiating from these women (Dawn and Chaunita).

  34. Jade says:

    Dawn…..I believe a housewife from a different show put it best by saying. “I am on a reality show, so when I am shown in a good or bad light it’s all me, not editing.” PLEASE STOP BLAMING EDITING, I GUESS THE WORDS COMING FROM YOUR MOUTH WERE INSERTED BY THE PRODUCERS…YEAH RIGHT. You certainly like to throw the rock and hide your hand, please OWN the crap you do!!!!!!!!!

  35. paris says:

    bottom line Dawn and Chanita are jealous of Pilar because she looks better than the both of you and has more money than the both of them put together. Grow up!!!

  36. Kym says:

    I’ve spent the entire day watching the season of Football Wives, and I can definitely see where VH1 has edited the show to make it seem as if (a) all Dawn talks about is finances and (b) Chanita & Dawn as jealous of Pilar. I don’t understand why Pilar is supposed to be the marquee name in this show, but if that is the case I can see why VH1 doesn’t want to offend her. (By the way, does she put on her makeup w/ a trowel?) Do Chanita & Dawn need to chill out a little? Probably. But they are not the green eyed monsters they are made out to be. All in all, a lot of interesting characters/dynamics on this show. I cannot stomach an episode of the Real Housewives franchise but I think this show is interesting. In closing, that Amanda is a straight up trip #thatisall.

  37. 292153 says:

    What a lovely day for a 292153! SCK was here