A little something to put on layaway. Lay far, far away.
This week’s What Chilli Wants begins with that suspicious picture of Raphael that Tionna’s friend Lorrie sent over:
It could be Raphael, but they don’t see the honesty bracelet that Chilli gave him at the racetrack. Still, those distinctive sideburns have Tionna going…
“How you gonna do that s***, I’m in town to hang out with you?” Chilli says to the picture. Let’s remember, though, that Chilli did go out on a date with Scott while in town. Calling the honesty bracelet black, aren’t we?
But Raphael did tell Chilli that he wasn’t seeing anyone. So they may not be committed, but a little honesty would be nice, since Raphael’s female companion had her legs wrapped around Raphael just like this:
On the plus side, if she turns around it looks like someone’s making out with her.
Chilli interviews that she has to be very careful with how she brings up the picture so that she doesn’t look crazy. If she can find a good way to say “My friend’s friend just happened to see you on the street and just happened to take this photo yesterday, please explain this to me, although we’ve only been on two dates so far,” then Chilli would be a crazy genius.
First Chilli tries to go the bike route and find out what Raphael’s new motorcycle looks like. She and Tionna figure that’ll narrow it down. That method doesn’t work, so she goes the “let’s talk about our past relationships” way, also not a good way.
It’s an interrogation on the beach. Their body language is pretty telling too. Like when she starts grilling him he puts on sunglasses:
And she half hides her face:
Or the Miami sun is just incredibly bright. But I see a lot of shadiness in their shade. Chilli decides to forget about the photo for now, go swimming, and work on her tan. Why did she change her mind? This:
The next day Chilli and Tionna meet up. She decides that she is going to ask Raphael about the photo. Luckily Tionna supports her decision, otherwise there would be a lot of glassware on the floor:
“Are you only going to wear your bracelet around me?” Chilli asks Raphael when they finally meet up. He says he loves it and hasn’t taken it off at all.
…But Raphael is covering his mouth like he’s got something to hide. She describes the photo and he sort of breaks eye contact as well.
All of a sudden he’s not half as handsome as he was 30 seconds ago. “That’s true,” he says of the incriminating photo. So at least he isn’t lying. He’s got a good explanation though: the girl with her legs wrapped around him isn’t someone he’s dating…it’s his ex-girlfriend. Oh, whew! Cool! Glad we cleared that up! What?
“The bottom line is, you know when that moment comes, when it’s the end,” Chilli interviews. It’s the end:
And it did not “end good,” as Raphael had promised. Chilli needs to get her mind off Raphael, so she distracts herself by watching Tionna try on wedding dresses. She says it’s “just the thing” to make her feel better. True! Nothing gets you over your sense of loss in a new relationship like watching someone progress in theirs.
This actually is pretty distracting:
Chilli tries to disguise herself as a bowl of pasta…
… but there’s no hiding from Tionna’s breasts.
They truly deserve their own bridal tiaras. But Tionna’s is still thinking while she’s wiggling: She says that she wants Chilli around wedding stuff to keep her mind on her goal.
They look on Media Takeout to see those paparazzi photos of Chilli and Scott. The commenters debate whether he’s all white or part Latino, which makes the perfect transition to what Tionna really wanted to talk about.
“I can’t help but notice, you don’t like the brothers anymore,” Tionna says. Chilli says that’s ridiculous. (And let’s not forget, the one guy she’s pined over this season — Floyd Mayweather — is definitely a brother.)
Tionna says she exclusively likes black men, so Chilli argues that she’s prejudiced. Tionna argues that the reason black women date outside their race was to get “good-haired babies,” but Chilli’s got good hair, so there’s no reason to date white men. This is a very reasonable thing to say, obviously, and the wedding store staff giggle and applaud politely as Chilli and Tionna make their points.
Scott and Chilli have their next date back in Atlanta, where Scott’s come to visit her. She wants to test his rhythm, so they go salsa dancing. “Scott dances to his own groove,” Chilli politely observes. I think this means that he goes in one direction, while his feet want to go in another:
Things are going well.
Maybe too well:
Because Chilli’s next question is a date-killer. She asks if Scott if he’s dating other people and he’s like:
…which means yes, right? Because it’s the same face he gave to the penis question. Scott’s honest and says he likes her but two dates is too soon to get serious. He is still dating other people. Chilli is totally fine with this. So it wasn’t the dating other people thing that bugged her about Raphael, it was the delivery. Fair enough. This body language is much better: