The X Life Recap – Episode 4 – Little Men



Pretty ballsy for a kid who just learned he had balls!

We begin this week’s The X Life with Cory and Nicole debating their upcoming trip to Australia. Cory tells her he’s got an event out there, but really, he’s invited her so he can ask Nicole to marry him. Unfortunately the trip overlaps with Thanksgiving. But Australia’s like 24 hours ahead, so technically they could track back in time and make Thanksgiving at home, no?

Since he can’t tell her why it’s important, she can’t see why it’s important. Nicole’s lack of psychic ability is frustrating for Cory:


“I’m a full-time mom,” she argues. She should quit, this job has horrible benefits! “You already got my ticket… so there’s no changing my mind, huh?” Nicole says a bit later. Regret and loss of control are the best feelings to start an engagement with, for sure.

The girls all meet up for brunch at Nicole’s. She interviews that she’s excited because they haven’t seen her place before. Susie, in particular, loves Nicole’s new, rustic digs:


They discuss their partners over bagels and fruit. Or rather, over big plates of nothing. After all, you don’t win friends with carbs:


Nicole tells the girls that she’s going to Australia, and Susie is, again, surprised. Denise is surprised that this is a big deal. “You can bring them back a bunch of crap from Australia,” she says. Of course Denise doesn’t have kids yet, so Nicole discounts her advice immediately. So immediately, that Denise realizes it while she’s giving it.


Susie confesses that she and Jeremy feel more like “business partners” rather than a married couple. This thought — like many thoughts — brings tears:


She resolves to make some changes when she gets home. She also assures the girls that she just needs to get home and get some sleep and she’ll be herself again. Don’t get her wrong: she’ll still cry and worry a lot, but she’ll be well-rested the whole time.

Back home Susie tells Jeremy that he needs to come up with some “fun” date plans, and he’s like…


I think he’s thinking, “Girls are no fun,” or, “Girls don’t like anything rad like bikes or video games or girls.” On the couch she says she’s “over being his business partner.” Is the romance dead? Jeremy’s loud couchfart means yes. But they both promise to keep Saturday clear.

Cory decides to spend some quality time with his kids before he has to leave. And what’s more quality than digging holes?


Of course these are holes for their next BMX track. He asks his kid what he wants to do when he grows up and he says “BMX.” The one dad in the world who you’d think would be psyched tells Trey to go to school and use his brain, not his body. I suspect he’ll have this same conversation with his daughter one day.



Trey tries out the track but sits on his testicles a little too much. Cory not only gives his son some good advice on why he shouldn’t crush his testicles, but also experiences some sympathy pains:


Sadly, Trey doesn’t know what testicles are, so they have a father and son talk…about how fathers make sons.

Saturday begins with Susie getting Savy ready for grandma’s, and getting herself ready for her date with Jeremy. Jeremy, however, is on his way to shoot photos for an ad. This doesn’t sit well with Susie.



Jeremy says she’s overreacting, but he’s under-realizing how mad she is. Which is weird, because it’s pretty obvious.


“This won’t break us,” he says. The thing about wiping someone’s ass for a few weeks: they think they can get you to take their crap forever.

Susie calls her mom and says that she’s “over it,” but — like crying and being Jeremy’s business manager — she clearly is not over it.

By the time Jeremy returns he’s realized how bad breaking their date was. He apologizes to Susie and tries to get her to reschedule, but she’s already made plans. “It’s not like I just get it, I know,” Jeremy explains. He, at least, is not clueless about being clueless.


Nicole is going out for the night and leaving Cory to spend quality time with his kids. “Quality” referring to their bonding time, not to the general quality of the evening:



But Cory does teach Trey some very important life skills.


I also like that his sister Londyn applauds his young flirtations:


Sisters are rarely so thrilled watching their brothers hit on girls. Trey should cherish this.

Meanwhile Jeremy decides to make it up to Susie with a home-cooked three-course meal — way smarter than taking her to the Tilted Kilt.


It looks more like a home-cooked two-course meal with a third course from the bakery aisle. Still, a lot of work for someone who’s never cooked before:


Susie should take pleasure in knowing that Jeremy probably cried the whole time he was cutting up those onions. But she’s mostly impressed with the time and effort Jeremy’s put in. So here’s something we haven’t seen too much on The X Life. Susie smiling:


They’re back to being newlyweds, except for the butt wiping:


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