What Chilli Wants Recap – Episode 5 – Spicy Chilli

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Oh, you mean the food.

We open this week’s What Chilli Wants with Tionna promising to take Chilli to New York City to meet Lasse Larsen.

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He’s the “superfine Swedish model” that evokes reactions like this:

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… from women in his presence. He’s actually Danish, according to his website. But according to his modeling photos:

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Nobody cares.

Chilli visits Steve Harvey’s radio show before her New York trip.

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She’s nervous because he’s not only a comedian and radio host, but he’s also a relationship expert and born-again Christian, so he’s probably got a lot of advice for her about everything except hair care. While on the air, Steve asks Chilli what she’s looking for in a man, and she says a Christian who adores kids, who is honest and romantic and sweet. With her so far:

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Then she continues: “… who is gorgeous and super fine and who can cook. He can’t smoke cigarettes…”

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“…I really don’t want him to drink at all, but if he did I would compromise…a little bit.”

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“The problem is, what Chilli wants is too damn much,” Steve says. And thus, a potential third season gets its name.

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He asks if there’s anyone in the running, and she says she’s got one guy that’s “catching her eye,” but is going out to meet another one who may be better. This is even stranger to Steve. He tells her that she needs to open up more and get rid of the checklist. She says she is open, but even her posture says she is not.

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Before she leaves she takes Tron to the park and invites an old friend and her kid to join her.

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Chilli and T-Boz talk about their ages and desire to have more children. They express this by swinging on the swings and longingly looking at the babies in the park:

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Chilli tells T-Boz about her OB-GYN appointment and how horrified she was at her options. The frozen egg idea isn’t appealing to T-Boz either, but she’s a little more pragmatic than her friend. T-Boz told herself she’d have a baby by 38, then by 40…now her limit is 43. “Or at least it has to be in there by 43…poppin’ out by 44.”

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I wouldn’t cross a woman who’s got her future pregnancy timed this well.

And T-Boz has started looking into adopting too. Maybe you’re looking for a mother? Her reasons: “It’s cool, you get the baby, the baby’s already cute, you see what it looks like, you don’t have to get fat…” I see that T-Boz has also picked up talking points from the adoption brochure!

All this gives Chilli something to think about.

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“It makes me wonder if I should be a little more open to alternatives…” Chilli says. That sounds familiar, doesn’t it?

Meeting up in Brooklyn, Chilli tells Tionna that she’s excited to meet Lasse. Why? “He just popped on the screen when I saw him,” Chilli explains. Once again:

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Popped, indeed.

But before her date today, Chilli’s going wedding cake-tasting with Tionna’s family and her fiancé, Gaspar:

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Tionna updates her family and Gaspar on what she and Chilli are up to, explaining that Chilli’s about to go on a date with “another white one.” Chilli objects to this description.

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I think she’s more bothered by the “another” than than the “white” — Lasse is not just “another” white one. Tionna’s mom is on Chilli’s side, so Tionna reacts the way any daughter would:

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“I don’t even listen to her,” Tionna says. “She hasn’t been single since the seventies.” …Which is precisely why you should listen to her when it comes to finding a life partner, I think.

Gaspar makes an argument for inner beauty and deeper attraction. But his words don’t convince Chilli as much as his actions, namely, the way he looks at Tionna.

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“That is how a man is supposed to look at a woman,” she says.

Just before the date, Chilli says that she’s actually got butterflies. He claims to be nervous too.

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Walking around the park — or rather, doing loops around it — Lasse tells her it was exciting to meet her because he had a crush on her when he was a teenager. I think this is an odd thing to say to someone on a first date, but Chilli is smitten. “We definitely had chemistry,” Chilli interviews. Her chemical reaction:

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But she also says, “He could have been talking about Scooby-Doo, it wouldn’t have mattered to me.” See, Chilli is becoming more open…to dating insanely hot men.

They walk to the most romantic place on earth…

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…and he starts to ask her deeper questions. Questions like, “What do you think of me so far?” He’s straightforward, sticks up for himself, and even makes her laugh. Hard.

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She asks if he wants kids and first he’s like…

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…so you think it’s bad news. But it’s only to prepare her for this: “Without sounding too cheesy, you would be the kind of woman I would love to have a kid with.” He has failed, because that is incredibly cheesy. Chilli interviews that she likes when a guy is confident enough to share his feelings. Especially when they line up with hers.

They go out to eat.

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The food is spicy, the conversation, also spicy — and not about Scooby-Doo. They talk about who their ideal type is, and, surprise! It’s each other. See I don’t think either have a preference for black or white, just very, very attractive.

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Unfortunately Chilli is leaving New York tomorrow. But when she leaves she gives him some kisses on the cheek.

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It seems demure, but this is Chilli, this is the equivalent of having sex on the first date.

The next day Chilli and Tionna prepare to fly back to Atlanta. Tionna asks if Chilli’s breasts got a little tingly when she met Lasse, and she’s like:

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Does she mean her uterus?

Chilli confesses that she’s nervous, something she’s never felt before. When the car comes to get them, Chilli wavers. “I wish I could put him in this bag,” she says. Tionna offers her an alternative: stay in New York for another day or two.

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“This right here is a historic moment,” Tionna interviews. It’s true: there’s the signing of the Declaration of Independence, the moon landing, and the day Chilli decided to take a risk.

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Jaw-dropping, for sure.

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