The X Life Recap – Episode 6 – Recipes For Disaster

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As promised, everything that can be extreme, is extreme on The X Life.

We begin this episode of The X Life by arriving in Australia with Nicole, who left for Sydney a week after Cory. She thinks she's there to watch him ride in a contest. However, much more…

pressing

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…pressing matters bring her to Australia.

Back in Temecula, Susie's set up a private cooking class for her, Jeremy, Denise and Pierre. Pierre and Denise get into a huge argument on the way over, and he stays in the car to sulk for a while as Susie and Denise are furious:

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And Jeremy tries to hide his relative joy:

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…that someone else is the Bad Boyfriend/Husband for today. Susie asks them to kiss and makeup, and Pierre’s like – hell no. – He also says he doesn’t want to do this – goddamn cooking class – in front of Susie. Rude! Fortunately she doesn't seem to mind.

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Jeremy interviews that he's not surprised at their public arguing, because – that's just them. – In fact he takes their arguing very well.

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They start chopping vegetables, but it's really a change for them to snip, and parsnip, at each other.

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Part of the reason why Jeremy's so pleased is that he’s on kind of a roll after making dinner for Susie. He was so good that he decides for a repeat performance, and Susie's delighted that he’s learning fast.

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Denise watches Jeremy and Susie with some jealousy. – I wanna have a cool relationship like that, – she interviews. Pierre watches them with some interest too, since the goddamn cooking class is of no interest.

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Back in Sydney…

Cory and Nicole take a nighttime stroll. They grab a cafe table near the Sydney Opera House, and Cory tells her he's going to read her a letter he wrote to her. Right away she knows something's up. This isn't how letters work — you fly the letter to the person, not the other way around. Duh.

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– He has never taken me to dinner, wrote a note, and pulled it out of his pocket, – she interviews. I really hope he’s done each of those things individually, though. She proclaims his note – cute. – The moment is right for Cory's proposal, but he needs courage, so he orders tequila shots. She doesn't want him to drink, because he's – not friendly – on tequila. They pinky swear that he won't get mean on alcohol anymore. One promise down, one more to go!

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– The devil just came out, – Nicole notices after they do the shots. She tries to laugh off his various warning signs and growing crazy eyes.

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… but then Cory tells her, – If it were up to me, I'd be at home boning you in the butthole. – Is this marriage proposal cliché or what?

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Realizing that this is perhaps the worst possible way to introduce the idea of spending the rest of their lives together, Cory decides to skip the proposal for tonight. He puts the blame where blame belongs:

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And they leave.

After the cooking class, Denise and Pierre go get yogurt:

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Excuse me, they get X Treme Yogurt, which is like regular yogurt but with a girlfriend that really wants to settle down.

They've made up for the most part, but being around Susie makes Denise start to ache for her own babies and marriage. Pierre only promises the former. – If you want we can get to work tonight instead of watching a movie, – he offers. She asks why he'll have a child with her, but won't marry her and he's like:

pierrewhoah

A yogurt swallow take isn’t as hilarious as a spit take, but still. It turns out Pierre was married three years ago, for just 18 months. That marriage was – premature – he says, and he's not ready for another engagement just yet. – I feel like we have enough stuff going on, let's save something for when we're bored, – he tells Denise. She argues that you go to the movies when you’re bored, you don’t get married. That “I’m bored, let’s get married” thinking is probably what got Pierre married the first time, no?

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There's pressure, but not too much pressure: – At the end of the day, there's just something about that moron I just love, – she says. – And… I'm an idiot. – Every good marriage has a solid foundation of common interests. So I predict good things for them.

So it’s the next day and Cory's ready to try….

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… again. This time he wants to propose on little boat tour while passing the Sydney Opera House. Is there actually anything else in Sydney?

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Again, he gets too nervous and loud. The moment passes, like a ship in the harbor.

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Next they go to the beach, where it is cold and windy.

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Nicole appreciates the effort he's put into showing her a good time, but she wants to go back inside. Then she feels bad when he looks disappointed. – You can't even hang out for a minute? – he asks. Cory is stuck between a rock and a wave at this point, since time is running out on his romantic Australian proposal.

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– What can I do to make you happy? – she says. He couldn’t ask for a better cue to propose. “Say yes to being my wife for the rest of your life”:

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– I'm excited to start our life together, – she interviews. Her tears of joy are a sweet change from the tears of Susie.

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– I knew I was going to marry her since the day I laid eyes on her, – Cory interviews. He just had to wait for the rest of him to lay on her before proposing.

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