It’s just a short walk from here to down the aisle, guys.
We begin this episode of What Chilli Wants with a problem: Chilli now has two men she likes. Two! As you know by now, it's been hard enough finding one man she likes. But she does like Lasse, the hot blond model
…and Scott, the guy with a lot of car models.
If this is a problem, I need more problems. Chilli interviews that even though she just had her first kiss on the show ever with Lasse in New York. – [Scott] has something… I don't know, charisma? Something, – she tells us. I think she knows exactly what it is:
Who needs a face when you’ve got locks like that?
Chilli’s taken Scott to the mountains around Atlanta, because the fortune teller told her that'd she'd find romance on top of a mountain. Plus their combined hair mass is perfect for collecting berries and edible leaves during a hike. This trip is also a test. Chilli tells him she wants to get married and have a baby, and asks point blank if that’s what he wants. Scott makes another joke about wanting to make a baby that second, and she lets the question go again.
She’s stuck between a Scott and a hard place.
As night falls they make s’mores together after Scott ties his hair back, because that hair + open flames don’t mix — and the date starts heating up.
Scott wipes marshmallow off Chilli’s lips. Just when you think this marshmallow’s going to mix with this chocolate, Chilli tells him that she doesn't have sex with someone unless she's in love with them. It's a serious moment, but then Scott's like, – But we can still fool around though, right? – Chilli laughs and drops the subject. So once again he’s sort of avoided talking about their relationship, and where it is. Forget Raphael, this guy really knows how to avoid a collision.
The pair then move indoors to a cabin that they have to themselves for… a few hours? Yup. This is no overnighter. It turns out that this didn’t even need to be a few-hour-er, as you’ll see.
Chilli and Scott snuggle to conserve warmth and things get very close.
The conversation is rather cold though: – I know I'll always be a mother more than I will be a wife, – Chilli tells Scott. Scott’s eyebrows go up, and his whole body retreats at this confession.
– It just seems a little fast for me to be talking about the whole marriage and kids thing right away, – he says. – I'm not 100 percent sure I'm ready to be that person yet.” And now you can be 100 percent sure you won’t be seeing Scott on What Chilli Wants ever again.
You’ve got to appreciate a man that eye rolls his way out of his own storyline on a reality show. But honesty will do that.
Chilli interviews that she's disappointed that Scott – basically gave up on us, – but Scott, on the other hand, looks as if he dodged a bullet. A baby bullet.
So Scott's out of the picture, and Chilli thinks this rough patch — no Scott, no dad at last week's dinner — warrants a trip to see her therapist…
…who looks exactly like what you want your therapist to look like. Don’t you feel happier just looking at her smile?
We learn, as Dr. David learns, that Chilli's mom and dad pretended that he never knew he had a daughter until they were reunited when Chilli was an adult. We get this photo of that moment:
She found her true father, we found Chilli’s true hair color.
Later Chilli learned that her father did know about her, and had left anyway, which destroyed the trust she had just recently gained in her dad. This, right here, is ground zero for Chilli’s issues with men. After hearing this Dr. David asks Chilli the question I think everyone's wondering: – Have you ever been able to trust anyone of the opposite sex? –
That would be no. Chilli says 80 percent is as much as she’d ever be able to trust a man, and argues that men should prove themselves trustworthy in order for her to trust them. So trustworthiness breeds trust…but trust breeds trustworthiness, doesn’t it? We’re at an impasse:
Isn’t it great when we can laugh at our insurmountable trust issues that threaten to leave us single forever?
Dr. Davis then asks Chilli and her brother Hassan to write a letter to their father so they can let go of their feelings toward him. These feelings look silent, and deadly:
Now her father is coming to visit (from New Jersey, so I was wrong, he isn't so close), and Chilli and Hassan decide to confront him. First he comes to the door and is like, – Surprise! –
This seems funny because they were expecting him, but then again also expected him last week at dinner and he never showed. So, surprise!
He's in for a surprise too, because he thinks he's there to talk about Chilli’s dating life.
Chilli reads her short letter, and basically says that he doesn't keep his word, no tears, no self-pity, just a little resentment mixed with disappointment. Her dad reminds her that she said she doesn't like Jersey, which is why she won't come visit him.
Next Hassan tells him why he's upset with their dad too. Their dad basically tells them he wasn't around because they were the strong kids and didn’t need them as much. He promises to be around them more often and gives them a hug each, but you can see on Chilli’s face:
…that she’s about 80 percent from that 80 percent of trust.
That night Tionna and her fiancÃ© Gaspar go on a double date with Chilli and Lasse, who has flown down to hang out with Chilli. They start with tango lessons. Tionna knows this will force a lot of close contact. What she doesn't know, is that Chilli doesn't need a push to get physical this time around, because she’s like:
…when she thinks about doing the tango with Lasse. And that’s just the vertical tango!
First the teachers asks them to master the tango walk. It’s a piece of cakewalk:
They partner up, and Chilli and Lasse show they have some good chemistry on the dance floor.
Tionna and Gaspar, however, have some trouble. The first dance at their wedding will not be a tango:
Tionna actually steps on her own foot. It seems clumsy, but you try seeing past that rack to your heels. Impossible. Her dancing is so dangerous the teacher has to shield Chilli and Lasse. Tionna abandons the lesson to go back to what she knows:
Afterward, they go out to dinner. Tionna immediately proposes a game of truth or dare. Well all truth really, and no dares. And you know she asked early because there aren't even starters on the table. Gaspar steps in to ask Lasse the first question: “When did you first get into black women?” Chilli gets embarrassed and tries to hide, but Lasse’s game:
He says four years ago, when he dated his first black woman. And then Chilli asks him what the difference is between a white woman and a black woman. It sounds like the setup to a joke, but it’s a legitimate question. – I don't think the difference is in the women but in me, – Lasse says. And Tionna loudly whispers, – The dark make him wild, baby – to Gaspar.
Perhaps she’s hoping some sort of language barrier exists between Lasse’s side of the table and hers? But barrier or not, it’s hard to mistake her excitement for this question:
But Lasse goes on to say that he grew up around blond, blue-eyed people and he liked the – exotic – new thing. Tionna then asks Chilli if she sees herself – … getting butt booty naked, I'm talking about sweatin’ the six pack out, with a man named Lasse. – You kind of know what Lasse’s hoping for:
“Yeah I'd like to jump his bones, – she replies. What’s gotten into Chilli this season? Surely not a full meal:
They finish “dinner” and head outside, but Tionna's got one last question for Lasse before they leave: – What do you think about marriage? – This is a nail-biter for Chilli, because Lasse didn’t seem into – traditional marriage” on their last date:
But after a pause Lasse says he's – open to it – now that he's grown up. He believes in marriage? Then I believe in miracles!