The X Life Recap – Finale – Couples Skate

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Too bad no one told him this party was BYO Lawsuit.

We begin the final episode of this season’s The X Life at Cory's place. He's prepping a benefit in his backyard for his best friend Stephen Murray, who, as we learned a couple episode back, is paralyzed from a BMX accident. All proceeds …

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…and all tips will go towards his recovery and his dream of walking once again. Thousands of people are coming, including some of the best BMX guys in the world, who also happen to be the worst house guests in the world. It's a sweet thing to do, allow savages into your home.

We see something we rarely get to see in Cory: fear. But he’s not — as Nicole clearly is — nervous about what his friends will do at his house, but what will happen after. He's worried about his old friends knowing he's back in Temeculah, the same way gangsters worry about their old crew learning they're back in the neighborhood. It's really that dramatic.

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Cory thinks they'll have to go back to Tehachapi (population: 39,690) right after the event so they don’t find him again. I don’t know why he didn’t just have them blindfolded and shuttled over, that way they still wouldn’t know.

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But Nicole’s furrowed brows make it clear how she feels about returning. She looks at him as if Cory’s crazy, a look he’s all too used to.

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– Cory is sadly mistaken if he thinks he's going to drag us back to Tehachapi, – she interviews. I say they should move somewhere like L.A., because it’s been hard to spell Tehachapi and Temeculah all season.

Cory then realizes that telling Nicole that he wants to move back to nowhere while a thousand people are about to descend on — or get shuttled to — their house was a bad idea. Is Nicole begging him to stay, or cracking her knuckles for the fight ahead?

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Things aren’t going so well with Pierre and Denise either, with their fight last week still hanging in the air. Denise begins talking and Pierre immediately says, – Here we go again. – But you get the impression that they haven’t talked since last week. Don’t let their smiles fool you, they are fighting. Again:

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Denise suggests they take a break, and that she will go stay at Susie's place. Pierre says she should see how long they'll have her. It’s a dig at her personality, but also cuts close to what Denise has complained about all season: Feeling like Pierre’s charity case. She leaves, but not without giving a clue as to how much time she and Pierre have left.

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Over at Susie and Jeremy’s, Susie tells Jeremy that Denise is already on her way over, and he comments that every couple needs a break once in a while. They playfully argue about taking a break themselves but they’re just kidding with each other and they’re laughing and… I get it. Your marriage is great! Gloat over it more!

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Thank you!

Susie says she invited Denise to stay as long as she needs, and Jeremy is surprised but supportive. Because they are SO IN LOVE.

That evening Denise arrives at Cory's benefit with Susie and Jeremy. She interviews that she's kinda hoping that Pierre will show up, see her across the room/pool/dirt pit, and realize that he wants to talk. Perhaps she’s also hoping he has magically transformed into a whole new guy? Cory seems surprised to see Denise show up alone, but he’s got to host this event properly. BMX bikers aren’t going to high-five themselves:

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Computers aren’t going to DJ themselves:
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And what, should these Rockstar girls just stand there and look pretty?
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So yeah, things are going just fine. But watching the younger BMX riders do their jumps, Cory realizes that they're performing tricks he designed. He sees no other solution besides…returning to Tehachapi to invent some new tricks to – have the young bucks follow that. – This doesn’t sound like a solution as much as the beginning to another vicious cycle. Maybe he could copyright his tricks? Name all his tricks after himself?

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Maybe they’re his tricks, but they’re still impressive to watch, even for Cory.

Pierre does come to the event, and he decides to blow right past Denise rather than talk to her, because he – wasn't really trying to deal with some relationship problems right there. – I don’t know why he thought he’d pass by unnoticed, since the camera crew and floodlights are a pretty good giveaway.

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He brings a skateboard to auction off for Stephen…otherwise his actions are not charitable. Denise realizes that her fantasy — of Pierre seeing her, realizing he loves her, and sweeping her away — isn’t going to happen. She finds Nicole and Susie's slender shoulders to cry on.

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The benefit, at least, is a success. They raise about $10,000 according to Cory, and so it's time to party like a Rockstar Energy Drink – „¢.

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Like Susie and Jeremy's Halloween party, things turn gross very fast. See:

Guy who dances for camera:
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Guy who jumps off your trellis:
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Guy who is going to fight everyone:
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These three types pretty much encompass all of Cory’s friends and part of his family. Nicole briefly panics:

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But she and Cory get everyone the hell out of their house (and into an orderly line for the shuttle buses, presumably). This gives Cory some private time to talk to Stephen about his fears and desire to move back to somewhere less distracting. But Stephen doesn't agree with him, encouraging Cory to put his family first.

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He decides that Stephen is right. The next morning he calls Nicole out to their porch for some big news: They’re staying right where they are. Stagnation’s never looked so sweet:

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Last week we learned that Jeremy needed to break with his virtual family, Mulisha, for good. Part of that break up? Re-signing his other deals:

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We also learn that Susie truly does run his business with an iron fist. Or shoe, in this case:

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Next on the list is getting rid of the evidence of his former sponsor. Is there no mistake roses can’t make up for?

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Getting a tattoo that says “family” probably makes a lot more sense than getting the name of a particular family, right?

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He says goodbye to one family, and expresses his appreciation for his other one: – I gots a good-ass chick. –

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But actions speak louder, and this speaks loudest of all:

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Pretty much the complete opposite of this is happening at Pierre’s house. Denise packs up the rest of her gear to leave. Sadly, Pierre doesn't even look up from his board until she’s out of the house.

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It's very sad for Denise, for Pierre, for us.
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But a pretty sweet deal for the dogs. Dogs love car rides.

Back to the happy couples: Nicole interviews that she's more in love with Cory today than she's ever been… “It feels like a fairytale,” she tells us. And it looks like a dream:

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Speaking of fairytales, is “The Princess And The Frog” taken?

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  1. hlla good says:

    awwww. too cute (aside from Denise and that stupid drama).

    How much did they charge for people to come? Seems like they could have raised more money…did they do the auction?