Love & Hip Hop Recap – Episode 2 – We Cry High

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Second episode and I’m just as exhausted as Chrissy. But my hair’s not as white!

We begin this episode of Love & Hip Hop where it shouldn’t: In the bathroom. The mess that ended last week’s episode spills over to the start of this story, where Chrissy adds “… I’m mad that you got your top teeth done and not your bottom” to the list of complaints against Somaya. Meanwhile Chrissy becomes a blur of tiny fury. Where is Jim Jones when you need a hip hop recording artist who also referees girl fights?

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Chrissy feels justified. “If you bust up in a bathroom asking somebody why they’re mad, you’re going to get what you came for,” Chrissy tells us. Moral of the story: Never, ever ask questions about other people’s feelings.

Outside of the club Olivia and Emily have a great time laughing at Chrissy’s aggression. Chrissy reminds them that she’s not a troublemaker, which is true — you need three fights in a premiere episode to be a troublemaker on reality TV.

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“At the end of the day she’s just trying to live, she’s trying to eat – ¦but not off my plate, b*tch,” Chrissy interviews. Never have such basic human needs sounded so shady. With that, the girls decide to go eat. I have a feeling Chrissy won’t be sharing her food.

The next day Chrissy and Emily go shopping. As we learned last week, Emily’s a stylist in addition to being Fabolous’s girlfriend, so this is actually work for her. Actual work? Actually pretty rare for one of these shows! I applaud her.

Her client today is Darrelle Revis of the New York Jets, otherwise known as the guy Olivia’s been dating. Or has she? When Chrissy brings this up, Emily’s like

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According to Emily, Olivia and Darrelle haven’t dated in over a year — she buys his clothes and shops for his ladies, so she should know. Emily surmises that Olivia’s telling people she’s seeing Darrelle because “it’s a good look.” As a stylist, she knows a good look when she sees one. “Somebody’s lying and it better not be Olivia,” Chrissy interviews. But you already know things must be shady — for instance, wouldn’t Olivia have known that Emily was her longtime boyfriend’s stylist when they first met? Things that make you go “liar.”

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Emily meets with Darrelle and brings up the Olivia thing while showing Darelle his new clothes. When Emily asks if Olivia’s his girlfriend he’s pretty clear:

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I love this face — it’s like Emily asked him if he was white. He explains that they broke up the year before. “We don’t even hang out,” he says. Instead of setting her free, the truth has made Emily even more worried. I believe this is her anticipating Chrissy’s next bit of drama.

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Or maybe she’s contemplating the tricky spot she’s in? After all, she told us during the premiere that her boyfriend, Fabolous, tells people he doesn’t have a girlfriend when they’ve been together eight years. Is it really worse to lie about having a boyfriend than to lie about not having a girlfriend? Judge not, I say.

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Back at the studio Somaya meets her new manager who is there to help her make some money quick. Without cash coming in, she can’t pay rent back home, nor can she help her family. Chrissy was right: Not only does Somaya need to eat, she’s got mouths to feed too. Here’s the man who’s going to help:

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Maurice tells us he has an idea for Somaya to make some cash quick. His plan, in four words: “That butt is bananas.” Somaya’s against taking photos of her bananas butt, but Maurice points out that, currently, she has to walk three blocks to take a shower. So she agrees to do some photos and sell them to hip hop magazines. Somaya makes Maurice promise to keep it respectful and not in “video ho” territory. She’s serious and has the serious glasses to prove it.

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Meanwhile Chrissy has to visit Jim’s mom’s house to plan his birthday party. Two things you must know about Jim’s mom, Nancy: her voice is raspier than DMX’s and she’s got great arms:

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One other thing: She’s pretty mean. She says Chrissy thinks of her as “the wicked witch of the f*cking east, west, south.” She also cackles like a witch to prove that Chrissy’s right. Mama Jones wants to have a luau for her son’s birthday, with she and Chrissy splitting the cost and prep work. I think 80% of that is an excuse for her to put on a grass skirt and drink rum, though Nancy looks like a lady who doesn’t need excuses. Or reasons.

“I can’t believe I’m in here, for a 34-year-old man, getting hula skirts for his birthday” complains Chrissy when she has to go shopping with Nancy, who’s a greater-than-34-year-old woman walking around a party store in a grass skirt. See? You don’t need excuses if you don’t feel any need to explain yourself.

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When it comes time to pay, the total ends up being just shy of $400. Mama Jones gives Chrissy $12 because she needs to buy cigarettes. $188 dollars worth of cigarettes, I guess. Somebody just got screwed. Guess who.

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In other money problems, Somaya is meeting photographer Felix to shoot some photos. What’s his reputation in the hip hop industry? “If the girl got a big butt, he shot it,” Maurice informs us. I hope that’s on his business card! But in other words Fexlix’s work is…

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… eye-popping. Somaya is suspicious.

The first outfit that Felix chooses for her doesn’t meet with Somaya’s approval. It doesn’t meet with womankind’s approval, judging by the rest of the faces in the room as well..

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Here we learn a new and telling fact about Somaya: She doesn’t want to wear any tiny bikini bottoms because she has a scar from getting shot back when she was in gangs in L.A. “I will live on the bus bench before I put this sh*t on,” she promises. In other words:

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So Maurice and Felix go with their original plan, which is slowly coaxing her to get more and more naked. For a talent manager, Maurice sounds strangely close to a pimp.

Covered up:
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A little more skin:
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A lot more skin:
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When Felix finally asks for the money (i.e. the “booty”) shot, she’s done.

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Poor Somaya. Give a man an inch, and they’ll try to take the whole butt.

The next day Somaya visits Jim’s studio to play him the track she’d like to have him on. This time, Chrissy’s there hanging out. Things are… tense.

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And Jim’s body language is a bit different with his girlfriend there.

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She plays him her track “Will You Still Love Me.” He’s hard to read:

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and Chrissy is easy to read:

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… because she’s reading Somaya. “I’m not a producer, I’m not a songwriter, I just have the ears, and they were not happy,” Chrissy interviews. Jim gives Somaya some encouraging feedback, but she is a little more concerned with Chrissy’s reaction, since she knows Chrissy’s reaction might as well be his.

The next day Nancy and Chrissy have Jim’s party at his mom’s house. Already there’s disagreement over the wearing of the grass skirts, as well as who should have helped with the set up.

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Chrissy’s spent the whole episode looking like she’s stepped in dog poo, poor lady. Even her brief break from Olivia, Somaya, and Nancy drama is interrupted by Nancy. “It’s better I drink the champagne than some of the hard liquor, because that’s where you have the problem at.” Nancy interviews. Note that she says it’s your problem, not hers. Ominous words for the rest of the season.

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Jim arrives, and he loves his backyard luau.

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Only one person here’s having a bad time in fact:

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Later into the night, Nancy has her friend Freddy rap for Jim, using rhymes that celebrate how special he is. He is – ¦

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… touched. Like Somaya’s booty, I can’t believe Jim’s willing to show this side of himself. “People don’t know he’s a crybaby like that,” Chrissy interviews while laughing about her boyfriend’s tender side. “He’s got … a really soft side. He would kill me for saying that,” she adds. So we know he’s got a hard side as well! Cool.

She takes him out of the crowd to remind Jim that he’s a year older now (as if the birthday party didn’t remind him of that) and that it was time to grow up and stop playing. He closes his eyes for most of this discussion, and I’m not sure that’s out of love or drunkenness. Either way, he agrees that it’s time to get more serious.

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“She means the world to me. She’s there for me, she’s exciting, she’s the bomb,” he interviews. And like a bomb, Chrissy’s pretty easy to set off, so he’d better give her that ring, quick.

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  1. livluvlife says:

    This show is simply awful!!!! It is a train wreck just waiting to happen and all these broads are so low budget (Oliva this is how far you have stooped?)Chrissy did not even have 500.00 dollars??? Are you serious? What does she do for a living other than being Jimmy’s girlfriend? And the stylist that is strictly Fab’s baby mama, why are you playing yourself on this whack show??? Your man does not claim you but you are on the show crying and professing you are a couple??? And what is up with the bullet scarred wanna be Nikki Manaj??? HOT MESS. I refuse to speak on Jimmy’s mom because it is what it is. But again, OLIVA come on sweetie you can really do a hell of a lot better than this busted crew. But then again maybe you can’t.

  2. bigsexy says:

    yo emily are you kidding darell is better looking than fab,and richer to,girl it’s in his eyes u can get it!!! lol olivia your time is up there is no getting your grind back if clive davis dropped u what do think that means. he’s the biggest name in the music business.i don’t understand u ladies and i use that loosely,that u can down another woman when she’s just as beautiful as u.somaya stay on your grind and don’t take the bs.chrissy if you can keep a man around with no marriage and no kids for SIX YEARS,damn u either crazy or u have the snapper but either way if u have no job and he’s a hustler who’s retirement will u settle on when you’re 60 or will u still be HUSTLIN?

  3. RealMissie100 says:

    This show is going to be interresting. Espeicially since Olivia is telling stories about who she is with. And that facial expression that he had on his face is priceless keep it 100. I agree wouln’t Emily who is his stylist know about them she does dress him and by for his femailes. TO much

  4. NewarkMomma says:

    In my opinion, it looked like Fab is embarrassed of Emily cuz he never say anything about her in any interviews so it is on her. What business of it of hers if Revis and Olivia are dating or not? Emily concentrate on your family instead of butting in people’s businesses.
    As for Chrissy, if Jim Jones wanted to married you, he would’ve done it a long time ago. Do not push a man to marry you. You acting all jealous over Somaya cuz you don’t know her and probably cuz she is tall and prettier. What is the heck is your job title? I don’t see you doing nothing but sit around talking about Somaya and other people and going to lunch.
    If Jim Jones wanted to marry you, you two would already have a child in a six years relationship. There is something else that is going on that we are not seeing on the show smdh

  5. Tina says:

    Jim- Handle your business, keep it separate from home.
    Chrissy- You and Jim make a beautiful couple. Chrissy stop being insecure and immature. It’s not cute.

    Olvia – You could be doing a lot better, what happen?

    Emily – You could also be doing a lot better.

    Somaya – You don’t have to go thru JJ to get ahead. I believe anyone would be glad to have you on their team. I liked the music. Maybe Kanye or someone of his caliber will pick you up. At any rate keep it up.

  6. Rod says:

    Does anyone know the name and location of the clothing store that Emily and Chrissy were shopping at?

  7. MZMAXWEL says:

    I WOULD ;IKE TO SAY THAT I LOVE THIS SHOW LOVE & HIP HOP I THINK THAT JIM JONES IS SO SEXY AND THAT THE SHOW WAS MORE THAN 30 MINS

  8. Shauncey says:

    Chrissy: I love you and JJ together. You can tell he loves you. I understand the whole “sneaky, hood rat” thing, but I think you should give Somaya a chance to screw up before just writing her off. She could make your man some money, and she’s talented. I know at the end of the day you can’t trust women around your man (he’s hot) but unless you get that vibe from her that it’s anything other than professional, give her a chance. She might turn out to be a good friend. Your my favorite so far.
    Somaya: After the 2nd episode I’m so down with you too! I loved how you put your creepy manager in check. Your not selling booty, your selling music, and I get that. Give Chrissy a chance, I think you guys could be good friends. Of course she’s going to be standoffish about a new chick coming around her man. Totally inderstandable. The way you handled her reaction to your music in the studio shows that you have class. I really hope you and Chrissy can be friends, because I think JJ is really digging your music.
    Emily: People who live in glass houses should not throw big rocks. You should focus more on your “relationship” with Fab instead of being in Olivia’s business. Any man who a woman has given 8 yrs and a child to but can’t go anywhere in public with the man and he doesn’t claim you: you need to address these issues. You have too much going for you to settle for that. Don’t waste your youth on him girl! If Fab honestly thinks he can find someone better (which he can’t) let him try. But I bet you CAN.
    Olivia: I’m not into liars. Next……………
    Mama Jones: I loved you! We would have a ball hanging out!

  9. Carmelcupcake says:

    Ok, first i wanna say I LOVE THE SHOW…The ladies are hot and cute…the story line is juicy..and everything seems real. I wanna say that Jim Jones and his beautiful girl Chrissy…make a great couple…Jim if you look at this…MARRY HER….she is beautiful and she got cha back…front side and toe…lol…I love everybody on the show…I just hope everyone can come back for another season…Great show VH1…keep em comin…

  10. Carmelcupcake says:

    Chrissy….YOUR HAIR IS BEAUTIFUL…What is your secret..besides good genes….

  11. Who You says:

    How long have Emily and Derelle been seeing each other? There seems to be more than meets the eye with those two. It is clear they have been having relations beyond, “Do you like this top?”. Emily was too concern about Olivia and this guy. Why is it a big deal to her? I mean what about her own relationship?

  12. Little Peep says:

    From one California girl to another, I got to say it is something about a girl that can say she lives in a basement and show that she is humble! All the girls on the show don’t seem to be bad people. Alot of people are going to either hate or love this show! I am just finding out about it from a friend. This chrissy girl is funny. That olivia and emily are one and the same people personality wise it seems. Maybe, just in different ways.

  13. Whoop Whoop says:

    I have a question. Is that the look upstate….with over sized breast that do not proportionately fit frame??? Not a good look….

  14. phillygirl says:

    I Love the Show! make it an hour!

  15. Respect it says:

    This show is entertaining. I am curious to see how things work out for Somaya and Olivia’s music careers. Olivia looks a little smoked out to me though, maybe she has a tan. She appears to have that “smoke” tint and her lips are dark.

    Does Jim Jones ever get his hair re-braided? They always look bushy. Does he every raise his voice or fully open his eyes? He seems cool though. I just think a 34 year old man with braids is very PLAYED. Grow up. I think Chrissy is beautiful, down to earth but she needs to get her own thing going and stop running behind JJ. Chrissy favors Shanice Wilson (singer “I Love Your Smile” and married to Flex Alexander). Chrissy has a beautiful smile too.

    Emily needs to worry about her obviously NON-relationship with Fabulous instead of who Olivia’s with. Why does that even bother her? Yes, Olivia did flat out say that she was still with Darelle but that has NOTHING to do with Emily. Why did she feel the need to ask him? Does she want D. Revis? I am sure Fab won’t care, he doesn’t claim her anyway. She needs to get some self esteem and WAKE UP. Who is her 12 year old daughter for?

    JJ’s mom, needs to lay off the cigarettes, she sounds terrible but she is adorable. I don’t want to see her with lung cancer. Get it together Momma Jones. She sorta reminds me of Frankie.

  16. Respect It.... says:

    Somaya is cute with makeup, without it….she looks OLD and Worn OUT. There is a HUGE difference. She also needs to work out. She has curves but she is looking a bit tranny-ish because she is so tall and she needs to start walking and exercising more.

    Hell, I am right there with her. When you are voluptuous like that, you don’t have to show your cleavage, it is OBVIOUS that she is busty. Cover up some time.

  17. MSAQUARIUS says:

    I feel as if u guys should stop hating on Somaya and let her do her thing a man is gonna be a man and he have not gave any indication that he wants her so Chrissy u need to stop trippin because that is the quickiest way to lose ur man he cleary loves u so stop tripping so dam hard dam calm yo insecure ass down! o yea and Emily u look better than all them broads and u look way classier forget fab and get wit a real superstar because he is at the end of his road you will look perfect wit trey songs!!!

  18. Roxyfromthebk says:

    Chrissy -

    You are looking like an insecure woman stalking a 6ft 4 amazon woman who thinks she is out for your man. Sadly enough, Jones allows his non experience not wife but girlfriend influence his music decisions. So a good ass woman rapper could be walking out because Jim’s girl is insecure. I would hope that he is actually watching the show and sees possible business walk out because he can’t control his ghetto girl. Now I realize why Jim is not the greatest MC. He has to have his girl approve his songs. He’s a joke! Shame, shame, shame.

  19. texasgirls says:

    chrissy your wrong and petty.mr.jim jones you can not be serious.your girl is jealous and just evil.you let her decide who you fool with and decide to help.wow!there was nooooo reason to do that girl like that.remember what you do to others will come back on you.you reap what you sow.

  20. tina says:

    i love love and hip hop , but Emily to faced and Chrissy you know she a snake trying to say all rappers have a lot of girls please Emily do not hate Fab not yours.

  21. Hated It!!!! says:

    This show is booooring, and not worth my time! I thought VH1 was bringing their “A’ game with Basketball wives. But this show IS LOW BUDGET. Who are these people??? When was the last time they dropped something that was not underground? I rather watch the Football wives cry about money problems, than to be watching this ish.

  22. dramafree says:

    where’s! the….”LOVE”! ???????

  23. MyTime says:

    OK FIRST LET ME SAY, WHERE CAN I PUT IN AN APPLICATION FOR THE POSITION OF “HOLDING EVERYTHING AROUND ME DOWN”? I MEAN WHERE EXACTLY DO THEY DO THAT AT? SPEAKING OF CHRISSY SHE IS VERY INSECURE. WHAT MAN WANTS TO BE WITH A INSECURE WOMAN? LMAO WHEN SOMAYA MGR SAID THAT JIM JONES ONLY MAKES $10,000 A YEAR. MAKES ME WONDER IF HE KEEPS A HUNDRED DOLLAR BILL AROUND A STACK OF ONES. LOL

    WITH SOMAYA I THINK SHE IS GOOD PEOPLE. I DO AGREE THAT HER PERFORMANCE WAS NOT ALL THAT BUT SHE DO SOUND PRETTY GOOD ON A TRACK. AND AS WE ALL KNOW WITH ALL THE GARBAGE THAT IS BEING PASSED AROUND AS RAP TODAY ALL A PERSON NEED IS THAT ONE BIG BREAK. SO GOOD LUCK SOMAYA

    ON TO MS. EMILY. DO SHE REALLY THINK THAT BECAUSE SHE HAS A KID WITH FAB, THAT THAT MAKES HER HIS WOMAN. OK, REALLY EMILY? YOU ARE REALLY THE DEFINITION OF A BABY MAMA.

    OLIVIA YOU CAN BOUNCE BACK. YOU JUST WORK HARD AND WATCH THE COMPANY YOU KEEP. HANGING AROUND A BUNCH OF FAKE WOMEN IS NOT GOOD FOR ANY ONE RICH AND FAMOUS OR NOT

    SIDENOTE: I REALLY DO LOVE THIS SHOW

  24. CHUNKY_MoNKEYS says:

    OK i mus say something well a couple I think the show is good its closer to reality than jersey shore… Chrissy is real yea she didnt like her due to the fact of jim but at the same time she is being his woman and telling him she thinks its going to screw his money up…. if it was you, you would do the same. by the way hopefull they all can get along i think they all are awesom but chrissy is my favorite…. chunkey monkeys are in soo boo to you skinny heffas…. and if jim ran u on you you would be throwing it at him… but show is awesome me and my girls watch it on margirita mondays…lolz

  25. cuzi sayso says:

    Olivia is a simple chick. how she aint think they was gettin the low down?? and Jim, anybody remember when that dude was in da’burgh? haha..he wasn’t rollin up on nobody but as a matter of fact rolled into the ER sans bling.lol but whatever every hood is the same!!

  26. WHAT DAHECK says:

    Yo this show is o.k to me . I watch it when im bored. The one person that i get bad vibes from is JJ friend ,or girlfriend.i dont know her name because her attitude sucks and she thinks she is the best thing since sliced bread, likie 4 real what the deal with her funky attitude. SHE dont work and minds all the buisness on the show which is whack not the show but her she whack . I can see why JJ hasnt married her yet , this girl whos not yet a woman is totaly out of the loop , dammm whats wrong with jjs girl toy …..i like that somaya chick she is dope .

  27. Cheryll Smalls says:

    Chrissy, you are the one and only one that holds Jim down… I hear girls say they should be his girl.. But want they don’t understand your not the girl your a strong black, beautiful women and you get all my praises and blessing.. Keep up your strong status because I respect u as a beautiful WOMEN!!!!!!Your a (BMW) BEAUTIFUL MATURE WOMEN… GO JIM THERE WILL NEVER BE A CHRISSY if you ever lose her it will never be another one…NO.1 Fan, Cheryll

  28. Jonsey says:

    I love this show can’t get enough of it. I love Chrissy! I wish it was longer than an hour too! I also like it much more than basketball wives. I think the ladies are real. Also, Jim Jones and the little short fat manager scene was priceless. I love how Jim Jones shows his love for Chrissy. Most of these shows with the girls claiming to be with the famous guy you never see the guy and if you do he act like he don’t want to be with the girl. Chrissy is real most women in her position would behave the same way. Be on guard protect what’s yours Chrissy!

  29. mmmm says:

    Somaya – you are beautiful…don’t let Chrissy’s insecurities get in the way.
    Emily – you are the prettiest of this cast, i love your eyes. Don’t hang on to FAB just because he is FAB…you are so beautiful, you can have any man you want…see beyond that!
    Olivia – i love your December track, you sound beautiful, it should be a hit!!! Just keep it real and stay focused!

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