Beverly Hills Fabulous Recap – Episode 3 – Big Body Girls

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Sean’s boredom with the Elgin Charles Salon is inversely proportionate to my boredom with the Elgin Charles Salon.

We begin this episode of Beverly Hills Fabulous admiring Lolita's new haircut. Like Elgin, she lives her job. The staff of Elgin Charles Hair love themselves so much, I wouldn’t be surprised if this camera was hidden behind a mirror:

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After a few minutes of hair flipping (in fact, Lolita’s haircut was designed to be in constant motion), Elgin announces that he's going to South Central L.A. to do a presentation for a group of underprivileged children. – l'm lucky enough to be a successful black salon owner in Beverly Hills, – Elgin interviews. Hair has blessed Elgin’s life in so many ways.

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The team retreats to their side of the salon. Their side being the … less classy side, as we learned earlier … or as you'll learn right now, since the first thing we hear from Lolita is that with her different haircut, she's now into – different things. – She doesn’t specify what these different things are, but Lolita hasn’t said a word on this show that didn’t have a sexual connotation, so let’s just assume that’s what she means and move on.

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Sean seems in a good mood for a change, until Lolita tells him that she's got a bridal party coming in. He doesn't like bridal parties, he tells us, because it reminds him of prom. The parallels are there: The tacky dresses, the awkward photos, the regrettable companionship. I think people only get married because they forget what prom was like.

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I can’t tell if his client really agrees, or just wants to keep Sean happy while he’s got a hair iron in his hands.

Lolita insists that the bride is arriving alone, but Sean insists that she's going to arrive with an entourage. His reasoning? – There's a culture of black people. – – Culture – is a neutral word, but Sean's tone is not. Still, I don't think he dislikes black people, he just seems to dislike all people.

He then bets Lolita lunch at a seafood joint that a – whole troop – of people will arrive.

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Meanwhile Elgin and Katrina arrive at the Al Wooten, Jr. Community Center. They meet the kids, and Elgin asks who among them is interested in doing hair. The boys are a little shy about raising their hands.

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He interviews that he was teased for doing hair. He interviews that as a kid, his brother would call him a sissy for practicing hair techniques on dolls, but Elgin's a millionaire now, so he's laughing harder.

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Our society’s greatest measure of success is how hard you can laugh in the faces of others.

Back to the bet. Lolita sees the bride, Yasmine, roll in solo, and she's pleased about winning the bet (about as pleased as Sean is annoyed). But then:

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Bad things always happen in threes, don’t they? Sean then runs down what he's going to order: crab, shrimp, lobster, double noodles … it’s like a wish list of things you definitely want to smell on your stylist’s hands.

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Back at the school …

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Elgin realizes that he's losing his audience. Out there is a sea of tiny, bored faces. It’s so bad that he resorts to showing them his spinning ring.

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Still nothing. Who knew a spinning ring couldn’t keep a class entertained for HOURS. But Elgin has more and better tricks up his sleeve. He announces to the class that he's got his own mini-Elgin Charles Salon on site, and that they're about to get Elginized. Now he's got their attention:

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Back at the official Elgin Charles Salon, Lolita's bridal client is getting her hair done. But there are too many cooks in the chair for her taste. Lolita suggests the bride pull her hair back, and her friends aren't happy with this suggestion.

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Lolita interviews that they are – wannabe divas – and – three girls that don't know nothing about hair. – Even worse: They don’t know anything about her. She makes them a) Google her name b) sit down while she has some champagne and gets started on Yasmine's hair. Montage time:

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Sean takes off to the classy side of the salon to avoid Lolita's bridal party. He’s got a big client too:

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But then this guy comes in …

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… and obviously he's not there to get styled. Or get champagne. He's the health inspector.

Sean isn't worried about the classy side of the salon as much as he's worried about this side:

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Elgin of course doesn't know about the surprise inspection. He's over at the community center doing hair. He gets a call from his staff, and he knows he's got to get back to his business.

Meanwhile Sean runs to the other side to clean up before the inspector gets there. There's food and drinks and dancing ladies everywhere. – Big body girls swinging asses from left to right – Sean calls them, probably based on the extra large pizza they brought in that he’s got to throw away for them. He tells them to swing their asses right out the door.

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Then, surprisingly, Lolita takes off along with the ladies Sean's just kicked out. – I can't believe Lolita left me to clean up her mess, but you better believe there were plenty of hors d'oeuvres at that bridal party,” he says. Well, there goes his free lunch.

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Back on the other side, the rest of the staff is trying to stall the inspector until Sean can take care of the mess.

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Elgin returns and brings the inspector over to the other side. It’s immaculate.

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Sean's a little bothered to see Elgin back at the salon since he's second-in-command and he feels like he handled the situation well. So he doesn't know how to feel about this lack of faith.

Lolita is still gone, by the way:

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So it looks like Elgin made the right decision, leaving Sean in charge.

After the inspector passes the salon, Sean confronts Elgin on his – urgency to get back to the salon. – Elgin tries to compliment him but Sean makes his anger …

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… as clear as possible.

They argue some more. The argument seems to be about the argument, with Sean complaining about getting – checked – and Elgin complaining about the disrespect. They break, and Elgin says that he needs Sean to do some soul searching. Apparently that's what he goes to do, right away.

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I hope they can work it out, because Sean looks very out of place out of the salon.

This week’s hair tips:
If you're wearing synthetic wigs or braids that are getting little stale at the ends, dip your hair in hot water, put a little oil, and shake it until – it's all new, baby. – Bonus tip from me: Just trade your wig with a friend’s. Now it’s all new.

It's always good to bring your stylist a picture of what you want. – But don't bring a picture of Halle Berry expecting to leave looking like her. Only God creates miracles. – Bonus tip from me: If you’re Halle Berry, bring in a picture of Halle Berry and ask to look like her. That’ll really freak out your stylist.

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