Love & Hip Hop Recap – Episode 3 – Rock The Boat

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cocktailfight

This guy came for the fight… but stayed for the cocktails.

This week’s Love & Hip Hop begins out in the wilds of Jersey. The ladies are at Chrissy's house getting some spa time. There are some ulterior motives to the ladies’ night in: Chrissy and Emily also want to get to the bottom of Olivia saying she's dating Darrelle Revis. This is going to be the most luxurious confrontation ever.

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As we learned last week, Darrelle — who is one of Emily's styling clients — hasn't seen Olivia in months. At least that’s what he says. And that’s what she says. Somebody is lying. When Emily starts to talk, we get to see Olivia's reaction go from this:

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To this:

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– ¦ it certainly looks like the expression of someone who has been caught lying. Olivia says that they started as a couple, but have decided to – slow it down. – “Haven’t seen each other in months” is so slow they’ll be 80 by the time they move in together. Chrissy interviews that things sound like they haven't slowed down. They've stopped.

Olivia goes to where I guessed she would (I love being right) and confronts Emily about Fab not telling anyone that he's got a girlfriend. – Since we're putting everything out, – she explains. It's also a quick way to put the attention back onto Emily.

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Emily simply states that she and Fabolous (who we learned first episode tells people he is single) have been together for eight years, have a two-year-old son, and that she has a 12-year-old daughter. – We are a family, – she interviews. – But why is he always with another girl when you see him, then? – Olivia asks. Maybe Emily has no idea how big her family actually is? Either way, now Emily’s angry as well. Pointing fingers always leads to pointed fingers.

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– What rapper doesn't have a million girls around them, – Emily asks. When Chrissy replies – Jim – Emily says she's seen Jim Jones in the club surrounded by girls. Now things are getting heated. Oh, to be a tiny bulldog in that room.

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Olivia says that Emily should have gone to her first (i.e., in private, and not in front of cameras). – This is between me and Darelle, – Olivia interviews. – Y'all b*tches don't need to be in my business. – And just like that, the fellowship of the hip hop girlfriends was broken.

But it's time to fight the real enemy. Chrissy goes out to see one of Somaya's shows, so she can see if she's got any talent to back up her talk (and her butt). – Are we going there on a friendly note? – Emily asks. Good question! I mean, you should just ask that before you go anywhere with Chrissy. She says things are totally friendly, which is totally not true.

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They're at Love Jones, where the MC urges them to give up the bad vibes before seeing the artist. Chrissy tries to oblige. But is this the face of someone filled with good intentions, or someone waiting for a root canal?

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It’s Somaya's first show in NYC, and first performance ever with a live band. She does – Would you still love me, – (what, no – Mira Me Pum Pum – ?). Chrissy seems to have left her good will on the floor.

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– I wasn't nauseated…but I was close, – Chrissy interviews. Points for not vomiting in your clutch, I guess!

Back to Olivia, who doesn't have the same sweet smile she had the first two episodes.

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Although her nail polish is still happy. She's meeting Emily for lunch. Emily interviews that she knows Olivia's upset, because she's texted her but she hasn't responded. Olivia basically says that she would never put Emily's business out there, so she was uncomfortable, and that they can't build a friendship like this. I don't know what place this kind of talk has on VH1. These ladies are making a business out of putting business out there. This lunch is al fresco and intense.

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Emily tries to apologize, but Olivia isn’t interested. Once again she compares her Darelle situation to Emily's situation with Fab, bringing up the rumors that he's actually with a lot of women, and not just – pretending – for his image like Emily insists. Olivia is like:

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Although she seems pretty okay with bringing this up. Emily still insists that she's Fab's only lady. – She's just trying to dig up dirt on me because I caught her in a lie, – Emily interviews. So that’s that. No one wins this argument.

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It's a nice night for a tattoo in Jersey, isn't it? First, though:

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I love Jim Jones’ apparent distrust of the whole banking system. His side of the mattress must be lumpy.

Chrissy says she's going to talk to Jim while he's getting his tattoo, – to get his mind off the pain. – And why not talk about Somaya? She tells Jim that Somaya needs to practice a little more, and he laughs it off.

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Jim interviews that he won't sign Somaya if Chrissy doesn't like her. – She knows how to critique women real good, so…. – If we've learned anything about Chrissy, it's that she's good with critiques. Woman critiques.

Somaya returns to Jim's studio to play him her track. He liked it initially, but told her to do some things to make it more radio friendly. She worked hard on it, and she interviews that she's excited to play him the final product.

He tells her to stop the track five seconds in, and he tells her he's got a deadline on his back so he can't worry about other people's songs. She is …

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… disappointed. She can't be sure, but she thinks Chrissy has something to do with it.

She reaches out to Emily for drinks and a talk. Emily has some suspicions:

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but she goes. If nothing else, this episode proves that Emily knows the drama-smoothing powers of a ladies’ early afternoon cocktail.

Emily says that she and Chrissy both don't think rapper when they look at Somaya… she doesn't say what they do think when they see her, but whatever. You can guess. And Emily says that if Chrissy doesn't think Somaya is good for Jim Jones's brand, she's going to tell him not to do it. Emily also interviews that she thinks Somaya's just trying to find someone to blame for Jim's disinterest. She doesn’t take this news well, but Somaya looks like she’s ready to start over with Emily and Chrissy.

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Let’s toast this soon-to-be-broken peace:

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The next day Emily invites all the ladies — including Somaya — on a little boat day trip. First: Awesome idea. Second: Putting them on a boat is even better. You can't storm off a boat.

Chrissy climbs on board, but she’s s upset that her – sexy, sunny day with [her] friends – includes Somaya.

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Don’t you hate it when someone ruins your sexy day?

Chrissy talks to Emily inside the boat about why Emily would dare invite Somaya. They either don't realize or don't care that Somaya's manager, Maurice, is inside getting a drink. It’s not Maurice’s fault he doesn’t stand out.

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Maurice goes back up top to tell Somaya and Olivia what's going on downstairs.

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Olivia tries to explain that Chrissy at first didn't understand Somaya's intentions, but Maurice says, – I'd advise her to date a guy that gets paid more than $10,000 a gig. – He means if Somaya’s intentions were to find a husband, not a career. But even as a hypothetical, this is not appropriate. Olivia interviews that of course this is getting back to Jim now. Of course, I’d be disappointed if it didn’t get back to Jim.

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Meanwhile Emily is inside the boat talking to herself, wondering out loud if she’s made a terrible mistake. She shouldn’t be so hard on herself, she did an amazing job consolidating the drama this week. She’s made a wonderful mistake.

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All the ladies gather inside the boat to argue. First, Somaya and Chrissy go at it, with the latter telling the former to shut up and listen.

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Then Emily yells for everyone including Chrissy to – shut the f*ck up. – Somehow Chrissy heard “shut the f*ck up… and dance” so she obliges, happily.

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Maurice then tries to explain that he only told Somaya what they were saying to stop Somaya from finding out on her own and – f*cking you up. – Chrissy brushes this off, but he may have a point — he later tells us that Somaya is around 6'4 – .

Chrissy also calls Maurice “Tattoo” during their argument. Pretty clever, since they are on a boat. I sure hope Chrissy knows some celebrity land midgets’ names for when they’re back on shore.

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I also love that some people are just trying to hold it down on the boat while the ladies are fighting. I bet that lady in the back’s thinking, “Why’d I buy the sexy sunny boat cruise Groupon?”

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Maurice urges them to “act like women.” He also calls Chrissy “triflin’,” which infuriates Chrissy. When Somaya gets into it, Chrissy calls her – …a girl who should only be rapping at Christmastime. –

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Get it? With skills like that, Chrissy should be rapping all the time.

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  1. Sugar says:

    Okay another thing. Why is it that if you are sleeping with a man in the business, you are all of a sudden his business keeper! Ladies get a life! If your man cannot make an educated business descision to work with a female without their chicken heads input, then who are you a man or a mouse? These chicken heads that yall date are not ness business women. Giving good H— does not qualify you as a business women! Get your minds right! pls

  2. Southern Spice says:

    I like Chrissy and all the rest of these ladies, but i really can’t understand what all the fuss is about. Chrissy is just looking out for her man and Somaya is just trying to get her hustle together. Seems to me everyone is trying to jump start their careers in some way shape or form. I really don’t know why all the bloggers don’t like Chrissy she is adorable!! Don’t hate on her for who she is and what she stand for.We are not mad at well to do women for dating men with money, then why hate on Chrissy for doing it. I do believe that Emily should be out dating other men, she is to cute to be waiting on Fab.

  3. Hell Yeah says:

    I love the summarizing of this blog it’s just as entertaining as L&H. It’s unfortunate that the “women”(age wise) look good, “but their brains are not ready”(twist off of KRS1!)

  4. Frisco415 says:

    Love the show but why do black women have to be so catty. Chrissy, Emily & Olivia are messy as hell. I think they are intimidated by Somaya. She’s beautiful, won’t back down or kiss ass for anyone. I see why Fab kicked Emily’s ass to the curb, she’s not wife material. Black women need to learn some class, just b/c you have money doesn’t mean you have class. Grow the hell up and focus on getting that paper, instead of hating on each other.

  5. Pretty Black Girl says:

    I love Chrissy & Somaya. I understand were Chrissy is coming from trying to protect her man. But do stop you hustle Somaya. Chrissy your smile is flawless. I have never really listen to Jim Jones. But now I’m a fan. You can tell a lot about a man by the woman he dates. And Chrissy is my girl.

  6. CS3 Fan says:

    good recap, please tell Rich J. he will be missed by everyone who loyally follows the recaps. For some reason I can’t post on his farewell blog…

    Please someone explain the Christmastime thing? I don’t get it.

  7. myabee says:

    Ok…why is emily asking questions about Olivia’s status with the football player, when Faboulus be with other women and also doesn’t aknowledge her as his lady, he calls emily his stylist..she needs a new man fab is NOT sexy!!

  8. duhh says:

    olivia is like nobodi..she jus need 2 go have a seat..nd y wuld she lie bout bein wit dat football player…smh…..

  9. Noonoo says:

    Is Emily the only one clueless about her role in fabs life? So what they got a kid together….um hello there is a word for that it’s called baby mama and that’s what she is nothing more nothing less. I would be ashamed to even say I had a kid with fab if I was Emily. As for Chrissy fall back Jim jones ain’t no jay z his paper is like his career…..short.

  10. Aleha says:

    They all need to evaluate their situations. Chrissy seems as if she doesn’t trust Jim and he seems to feel the same way. I hoping that after 8 years that they come to an agreement it is time to really be together offically in the bonds of marriage. Olvia and Emily both are in denial about their problems. Olivia honey….you lied, you are not with the man as of now, you both communicate as friends but he is not your man. Next Emily, just because you have a baby with someone doesn’t mean that they belong to you or you belong to them. Everyone knows that the rapper Fabolous is sleeping around….move on honey. Last Somaya, you left eveything to go to NY and start a rapping career, obviously you need work so deal with it. Don’t blaim your losses on Chrissy, like she said Jim makes his own descions in the end and he has his album to work on. So find a better manager that will promote you like the lady that you want to be promoted as instead someone who just runs his mouth for attention and in ends up getting in trouble because of his mouth which we will see in episode 4!

  11. Concepcion says:

    To Whom It May Concern,

    I see this show, and can look at beautiful womyn being represented in their diversity and rich heritage. Most important, and sadly, I also see womyn lending themselves for the sake of ratings. Considering that many young womyn are not even blinking in order to not miss a beat of this show, it seems that knowingly or unknowingly, you “protagonists” have lent yourself to the continued support and maintenance of a social structure that seems intent on parading womyn in their value as objects of beauty and sex appeal, but not as individuals and human beings with many strengths and simultaneously, limits to their character. The issue of violence, any and all sorts, belies the true nature of a person’s lack of peace in their soul; be it verbal, physical, mental or otherwise. For me, an educator, an immigrant, a promoter of community building and empowerment, and a survivor of sexual abuse and domestic violence can’t help but feel disappointed that YOU, having this far reaching platform and notoriety, choose to live out your 15 minutes of fame wanting to impose your dominance and “gangsta” personality over other womyn, living out and continuing a legacy of subjugation and oppression. The work that I do, with young womyn in the community, to build up their self-esteem and self-worth can’t help but take a hard hit from the influences that your show, your personas, and ultimately YOU put out into the universe. For YOU, that has awareness but hasn’t learned the means to self preservation, I support you; for YOU that has awareness and is fighting for transcendence, I salute you; for YOU that is blind, unknowing in your destructive ways, I empathize and wish you all the blessings possible!

    With you in Sisterhood……….

  12. texasgirls says:

    chrissy it is apparent that you sabotaged somaya working with jj.i see you are very insecure and a jealous person and childish girl.somaya did nothing to you nor did she ever try to come on to jj.i don’t see you problem with her besides she is pretty.and what is that monster under your nose.i wanna throw up everytime i see it.but one thing for sho it is about 20 of us watch this show,we all came to the same conclusion,we won’t be watching again.good luck emily and somaya with your careers.

  13. Tee from Brick City says:

    Oh boy!! My husband is not watching the show again because they are so catty!! Seriously!
    The only reason why Jim Jones said whatever to Somaya it is really because of what Chrissy said. Yes Chrissy is pretty but she is so very insecure and jealous of Somaya. Somaya didn’t do a damn thing to her. She keeps running her mouth and talking down to Somaya on the boat. Somaya is right “What is your job title” and also Chrissy should not talk to Somaya any ways she wants. That’s disrespectful. Of course Jim Jones is going to go off on Maurice in the next episode.
    As for Emily who are you to tell Chrissy that Olivia is not dating Derelle Revis? We all know you are dating him now and I think it’s shady what you did because you are supposed to be developing a friendship with Olivia even though Olivia lied about dating Revis but still though.
    You did put Olivia’s business in the street and Fabolous is not your man anymore. He is your daughter’s father and that’s all he is to you. You better sit your half stepping azz down and if you were my friend and did something like that to me, Im going to end my friendship with you like that because you just don’t do stuff like that.

  14. Shauncey says:

    What happened to my comment?

  15. Nisha says:

    I like the show , But I don’t understand why all the drama. Not another reality show with mostly drama. Get it together listen to each other and try to understand each, yelling and calling each other names is what children do. Don’t talk each other because some things should not be done and said. Let grow if not together fine, but do try to get in the way of someone else that wants 2.I hope the show leaves the drama behind.

  16. quantumpEAch says:

    *dead* at “Shut the ____ up, and dance” – LMAO!!!!

    Was anyone else bothered by Maurice’s entire “look”? He looks squishy and are those Somaya’s shades he’s rocking? LoL

  17. amberun says:

    i hope i’m not posting twice but i thought i was gonna like chrissy but she is getting on my nerves with her jealousy of somaya, i mean really……fabulous baby mama look so scary she need to stop before somebody make her cry..she had no business being in olivia’s business…i hope jim jones don’t choke the manager out b/c he should have stayed out of somaya and chrissys business…he could have told somaya what was said but he act like he 6ft tall…also the comment he made about jim jones not making more than 10k a year was priceless…chrissy seems like she could be a rapper but she need to let that jealousy go….it makes her look ugly and jim jones mom reminds me of frankie…kesha cole’s mom lol

  18. ambersun says:

    why my comment keep disappearing????

  19. ForEverAndForAlways says:

    Fab had a Twitter beef with Somaya when she was “dating” Joe Budden. If Emily was Fab’s girl wouldn’t she know this and want nothing to do with her??

  20. Tasmanian says:

    I really love love VH1 but they must have been desperate to pick-up a show like this an entire show full of nobodies ones that the industry and people really don’t care about. Scratch this show or revamp it. FYI Jim Jones you’re not great you’re not even average you’re just ok the guy said what people were thinking anyway and you should know you can’t turn Chrissy into a house wife she will always be a H__ stop hiding behind her and make your own business decision.

  21. lady says:

    hello

  22. Kim says:

    Why is Chrissy always trying to act like Jim Jones manager? they have been together for 6years no wonder Jim hasnt made any music she has been keeping him away from opportunities, its obvious Chrissy is intimedated by Somaya, Im sure when they run out of money she wilkl want him to do anything…I like all the girls except her shes ugly, lame and she needs to understant her mans a rapper hes going to work with ppl and lets not forget the video girls lol

  23. Honey Randle says:

    Emily is a LOW DOWN DIRTY SH#T STARTING B@#$H and she is miseralbe with her life and continue to start s$%t to get over hers! Guess that’s what make the show! See the cross, PRAY for your girl!

  24. teana says:

    idk who somaya think she is but gurl u need lessons and y do u think yo album gone get picked up with them weak words u spitting. gurl try again u aint nobody sayin u making olivia relevant wen youre not ever gona be relevant u look a hot ghetto mess! emily get your ducks in a roll and get on,stop being in denial u dnt know if he fathered a baby so get it together! chrissy gurl look like its time for u too bounce hope u got ur ish together cus jim dnt look like he ready and he mom omgosh is she off her meds or sumthin moma ones back off and go get u a man jim is grown let him be tht!