Love & Hip Hop Recap – Episode 4 – That’s My Brand

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Man sandwich, with some dead meat in the middle!

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Oh man, we’re back on this again? We start this episode of Love & Hip Hop with the same boat argument from last week. It just won’t end. Somaya sums up my feelings about this:

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I guess this boat trip turned out to be a working vacation, because these ladies (and Maurice) are fighting like it’s their job. And it kinda is!

Somaya finally tells Maurice to stop fighting with Chrissy. This is so she can re-start fighting with Chrissy. She tells her that Jim was feeling her song until Chrissy said something, and that Jim can, should, and could speak for himself. Chrissy tells her repeatedly that her song was – not on the level. – She argues like she's conducting a symphony. It's a beautiful thing to watch:

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– I respect your hustle, but … – Chrissy tells Somaya. This is a compliment of sorts, but that – but – bothers Somaya, because if ifs and buts were candies and nuts, Somaya – ¦

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… still wouldn’t give a f*ck. She knows that Chrissy’s compliment is wrapped in a lot of criticism.

Their argument moves on to whether Somaya's – winging – this whole thing. When Somaya argues that she's out here on her own, Chrissy replies that what she's doing is winging it. But Chrissy gets a manic look in her eyes when she's making her point.

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– Playtime is over, – Somaya says. They break, but Olivia says she's not – letting go – of what she heard Maurice say earlier in the boat ride. The idea of letting go of anything on this show is ridiculous — squeeze that anger until it turns into diamonds, ladies!

Olivia brings out Chrissy and tells her about the – $10,000 a gig comment – and adds that he said Juelz Santana is actually the best member of Dipset (or, The Diplomats, as Jones' crew of rappers is called).

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Look, Maurice had to pick someone. If he had said Jim Jones was the best member of Dipset, how would Juelz Santana feel?

Chrissy says that Maurice is obviously not a smart manager, based on the client he's defending. Sad: even when the subject is Maurice, Somaya still gets dissed.

Back on dry land, Emily and Chrissy talk about the boat events. – Chrissy was pissed, – Emily interviews. – I'll never do it again. – She tells Chrissy that she's not as mad at Somaya as she's mad at Maurice, whom Chrissy calls a – b*tch. – Chrissy also admits that, yeah, Jim listened to her opinion and dropped the song, but still says it was in his best interest.

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Then Emily sees a – ticking time bomb – — she knows that Jim will find out how offended Chrissy is and defend her honor — and his — against Maurice. So there's another fight just around the corner. Chrissy calls Jim to tell him about the day's events, and Emily looks …

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…exactly how Emily usually looks: worried, sad. Poor girl. She can't stop Chrissy, and she can't even nudge her into a safer direction.

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Emily — who gives up on stopping Chrissy — interviews that a man should defend her woman. This doesn’t give Chrissy nearly enough credit — she can definitely defend herself.

Meanwhile Maurice is doing his own damage control at another bar. He's invited out Olivia and her manager Rich Dollaz (finally, we learn more about cocktail man on the boat) to talk to him and to Chrissy about what happened. He tells Olivia that his client's been shot and stabbed. – So she's basically G-Unit,” Olivia answers. Maybe the G-Unit that used to feud with Dipset.

Then….

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Surprise! Surely Jim Jones is here to have a mojito and talk through things sensibly with Maurice and Somaya. Right?

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Obviously that shouldn't happen. This is a cameras up moment if there's ever been one.

Jim and his blurry associate drag Maurice out, and start manhandling him — though, Jim is mostly trying to get a handle on his associate handling him.

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They make him not only apologize to the camera, but to their cell phone camera as well. Meanwhile Olivia hangs out in the back looking disappointed and delighted at the same time.

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– The streets are real, I have told Maurice this, – Somaya interviews after. She says earlier that she sort of blacked out during the confrontation, because it reminds her too much of what she left behind. She doesn’t black out so much as focus her eyes elsewhere. Jim does the same.

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– I can't tell you that it's no more strenuous, no more legitimate, no more real than that – Olivia's manager tells/warns Maurice once they’re back inside. I believe there’s nothing realer than his use of “strenuous.” Then he warns him that he's dissed Jim's – brand. – There's more talk of – your brand versus his brand, – and brands meeting on the street. Was this a fight or a marketing meeting?

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Maurice interviews that he can't believe Chrissy got so offended when he called her – trifflin' – Apparently this means that Olivia didn't tell him that he told Chrissy about his – $10,000 a gig – comment.

A few days later Maurice and Somaya go for a drive in Maurice's – ¦ Mini Cooper. Say what you (or Chrissy) will about Maurice’s size, it takes a confident man to drive a tiny car.

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Maurice tells Somaya he hasn't been talking to her because he feels like she should have had his back during that confrontation. She reasons that with four guys and people yelling for her to get out of the way, there wasn't much she could do. Once again, I think these ladies are underestimating themselves. A 6’4″ girl’s probably got a good reach.

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Then he blames the whole situation on her – personal sh*t with Chrissy. – She accuses him of playing the victim. He basically tells her that it's not worth his time to manager her with things like this happening. She cries, and it’s unclear whether Maurice will be back or not.

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But Somaya’s got something, or rather, someone to make her feel better about the whole situation. Her ex-boyfriend XO is in town. She called him after she felt homesick, and he came, like her knight in shining neck piece, to see her.

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She starts explaining her trouble with Jim and Chrissy, and he makes her stop so he can give her a gift. This is the first thing Somaya’s smiled about in a while:

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Some jewelry, room service, and free wifi will surely cheer her up, right?

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…and SEX. Sex with an ex will help as well. But sex or not, getting to sleep in a real bed instead of an attic crawl space has to be good for your soul as well as your body.

Back to the studio.

We learn that XO is not only here to make Somaya feel better, but to do the spot on her track that Jim Jones was going to do.

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She's extremely pleased with his verses, partially because she knows they're about her. Look, a guy named XO is either going to be really romantic or really into tic-tac-toe. He’s the former.

It's time for XO to say goodbye and go back to L.A. It’s hard for Somaya to see her little piece of home leave so soon.

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Without XO around, you can count on her t-shirt how many people she can rely on in New York.

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