So who missed tonight’s Beverly Hills Fabulous?
We begin this episode of Beverly Hills Fabulous in beautiful Miami. As we learned last week, Elgin’s accepted the hair battle challenge against Florida salon Natural Trend Setters. He also explains to us what a hair battle is, because it’s part skill, part performance, part insanity. You use dancers, models, music, whatever it takes to get the crowd on your side, up to and including turning your hair models into living Barbies.
First things first though. The Elgin Charles staff arrive at their hotel, and Katrina declare that she feels like a lightweight celebrity. Always the qualifications! How are we going to believe in Katrina if she doesn’t believe in herself? It’s hard to believe that more of Sean and Lolita haven’t rubbed off on her. Elgin warns his staff that they can party in the morning, but they have to be ready by the afternoon. Sean has a blind date with a professional wrestler. This guy:
Who is pro wrestler Orlando Jordan. He looks much less intimidating when he comes to pick up Sean:
While Elgin has a friend date with someone you might know:
VH1 worlds colliding! Shauna tries to convince Elgin to open a salon in South Beach. He is dubious, but she promises a celebrity clientele, a big market, and a real estate contact. Elgin’s intrigued.
Elgin is making things all business as usual, while Katrina and Lolita are making things all pleasure, as usual. They decide to spend the morning by the hotel pool so they can find some guys.
They begin flirting, though Lolita is surprised once one of the men compares himself (favorably) to Mandingo. Katrina doesn’t know the reference, and you may not either, but Lolita definitely does. This may be the only time she’s been rendered (almost) speechless:
Meanwhile Sean and his date go shopping. It’s the way to his heart, he tells us. There are alternative routes too, though:
Nothing gets hearts a-fluttering like pecks a-fluttering.
Somehow the personalized fashion show has followed Sean Beverly Hills to Miami, where he and his date drink pink champagne and eat a cheese and fruit plate while men show off the store’s wares.
This date is going very well.
Elgin may move even faster than Lolita and Sean, at least when it comes to business. He’s already meeting with Shauna’s real estate guy in Miami. The agent shows Elgin a storefront that looks more like it could hold ten salons instead of just one.
Back at the pool, Lolita and Katrina are talking and touching, with a big emphasis on the latter.
Katrina’s found one — not bad looking — (there’s her tendency to understate, again) guy. Then he makes a crucial mistake by throwing Katrina in the pool. —Mandingo or not, you do not throw a black woman into a pool,— Lolita interviews as both women are horrified.
In fact, forget the hair tips this week — this is the one tip you need to remember: Do not throw a black woman into a pool. This may be the one hair tip that will also save your life.
Elgin’s arrives on time to the convention center, but not a single member of his styling staff is there. While he’s waiting and panicking, Natural Trend Setters come through to get to their prep area.
Although it’s hard to tell if this guy is insulting or complimenting Elgin. He throws some words back at the Trend Setters crew, but it’s hard to sound confident when you’re standing without your staff. “The last thing you want to do before a hair battle is show your weaknesses, and right now my crew is my weakness,” he says.
He goes to check on his dancers and choreographer, and she doesn’t know exactly what’s going on either, so Elgin gets frantic with anger and nervousness. Meanwhile Lolita and Katrina — and Katrina’s hair — come racing into the convention center.
Katrina and Lolita get right to work on the models’ hair, but then the power goes out. This probably hurts the Elgin Charles salon more than their competitors. Their thing’s natural texture, and Elgin Charles needs heat tools. To make things worse Lolita’s hair model is
… this lady. And she’s really impatient. “Nothing was going right. Nothing,” Elgin interviews.
Then something goes very right. Sean makes it to the convention center, but he’s frantically searching ever hallway and room for his co-workers. He stumbles across these ladies:
Sean thinks this situation has just been escalated from bad to worse. But I think it’s gone from bad to entertaining. Jasmine and her friends take the camera’s attention, so Sean inserts himself into their introduction to tell the camera that Jasmine’s Louis Vuitton is fake. There are many things not real about Jasmine, but this one is worth mentioning for him.
They question to the realness of Sean’s jewelry. And to question the realness of Sean’s jewelry is to question the realness of Sean:
He tells the camera that what we’re witnessing is the ongoing war between “fabulousness” and “tragedy.” Jasmine and Co. don’t take kindly to this. This may be the only fight I’ve ever seen where backing it against a wall is a form of intimidation.
Then they try to tase Sean and some of the Beverly Hillls Fabulous crew. You know what they say in Miami: If you can’t fight ‘em, tase ‘em. Then walk away backwards.
Sean mostly stays cool. “I’ve never been attacked by so many hungry little puppies in all my life,” he interviews.
To another fight: Elgin is backstage about to go on as part of this hair battle, the entire reason they’re in Miami.
Sean arrives, and Elgin is so angry that he goes to be alone and mentally prepare for the battle. Sean knows he’s disappointed Elgin.
Natural Trend Setters is up first, and Elgin and his staff admire their staff’s skill and performance. They are worthy opponents.
But Elgin brings all he’s got to his performance.
… brings it.
Now it’s up to the judges. I think you know who they picked.
One judge interviews that Elgin had a little bit more energy and a little bit more …
He brings the owner of Natural Trend Setters out to share the glory. And for her part, she’s very gracious about losing. Good to know that not all ladies from Florida carry Tasers
It’s not the only win for Elgin this trip, though. He interviews that he’s going to sign the papers for a new Elgin Charles salon for South Beach the next day.
He’s won the battle, but his staff may lose a war.
This week’s hair tips:
If you run out of conditioner, try a quarter cup of peanut butter or mayonnaise for all the nutrients your hair needs. Bonus hair tip from me: Don’t sleep with this conditioner in your hair, you may wake up with ants in your hair, or a sandwich.
Short haired girls, if you don’t have hot tools with you slick back your hair and add in accessories like flowers and rhinestones. It’ll bring out “… the beauty, without all that fuss.” Bonus hair tip from me: The best accessory for short hair is a long wig.