Love & Hip Hop Recap – Episode 5 – Unhappy Hour


You won’t be able to ignore the drama this episode.



No matter how hard you try.

We start this episode of Love & Hip Hop with Mashonda and Emily inside a recording studio. I think every episode’s had at least one scene inside a recording studio which is good — it’ means people are at work.



Mashonda's ex-husband Swizz Beatz has just married Alicia Keys, and Emily's checking on her to see how she's feeling. The ex-Mrs. Beatz says she's trying to stay away from grocery stores because of their tabloids and their coverage of Keys’ “dream wedding,” but then she points to a pile of sad reading material she's got next to her:


This has to hurt. And it must hurt to have to stay away from grocery stores, doctor’s offices, salons, and news stands, because there’s no hiding from tabloids.

Mashonda interviews that she thought Alicia Keys music was all about – girl power – until Keys turns her girl power on her ex-husband. Emily says she's puzzled because she never saw Swizz Beatz ever look anything less than happy with Mashonda. She smiles at Emily like this:


… because Emily’s kind of too sweet to see that this is exactly how men act when they are cheating on you.

Then Emily pulls down a magazine with Adrienne Bailon on the cover. She casually mentions that people think she’s dating Fabolous. – It's totally false, – she interviews. – Me and Adrienne are good friends. – – It's like my story, – Mashonda says.


And since we know how that story ends, it doesn’t sound good for Emily. – I don't think she's made her peace with the rumors, – Mashonda interviws. The problem is that Emily may be a little too at peace with the rumors that her relationship includes more people than she knows about. This is Mashonda looking into Emily’s future:


Later Emily visits Chrissy to help her organize her closet. Emily says she's got a secret to tell Chrissy, but it's nothing – freaky. – Her secret: She writes erotic poetry. For some people, this is much freakier than anything they’d expect you to tell them about your sex life. But now that she's shared this, Chrissy is…


… all ears.

Emily writes her erotic poetry on her Blackberry, so she pulls it out and gives Chrissy a reading. The poem ends with a big bleep. You don’t get to hear what Emily says, but whatever it was, it was enough to make Chrissy reach for the wine.



If it’s enough to shock a woman who owns leather devil horns and a vinyl bustier, then maybe it’s better we didn’t hear.

Back to the recording studio, but this time we're with Olivia, who's also working on some music.


She explains that she likes doing emotional music, something that wasn't possible on G-Unit. Is she saying 50 Cent is not sensitive?

Later Rich and Olivia sit down to eat, and Rich tells her that her comeback is going to be hard. She breaks down.


– I don't feel like people believe in me, – she says. Then she lashes out at – the b*tches that can't sing – who have an easier deal. Somewhere out there, a b*tch who can’t sing just started to cry because Olivia doesn’t believe in her.

Back to Mashonda. Emily heads over to her mansion, which is starting to look like Grey Gardens.



Nature has clearly moved in, so Mashonda is preparing to move out. She explains that her ex-husband Swizz Beatz has let the house to go into foreclosure. Mashonda wants Emily to see how she’s living so she can see what happens when you leave all your hopes with a man. And if you feel all alone, a house like this isn’t going to help:


Mashonda then reveal that she's signed Emily up for – The Power Of The P – a workshop performance thing that she hopes will help Emily take some control back.


The P stands for a woman’s P, not a man’s P, in case you were confused. And if you were confused, I bet “O.P.P.” still has you confused. Emily is nervous but ready for the challenge.


In fact, challenges are coming at Emily left and right. The next morning Somaya meets up with Emily to find out how exactly Chrissy and Jim found out where she and Maurice were hanging out.


She realizes that – that b*tch Olivia – was the one who texted Chrissy. In her defense, Olivia did interview that she thought Chrissy wanted to come and hang out, not to send Jim along. Will this logical explanation pacify everyone involved? Probably not.

Somaya tries to convince Emily to get Chrissy and Olivia together with her. She wants no managers there, and she tells Emily that she just wanted to finish what they were trying to do on the boat and end the beef. Somaya’s got other motives though: – I can't wait to see Olivia, I'm not going to let this slide, – she interviews. Could you a) blame her, and b) want her to let it slide? No and NO. Is someone ready for a fight?



The Power Of The P event starts with Emily on the lineup. Mashonda and Chrissy are both there to support her while reads a poem that contains elements of sex and female power, which makes sense. Had she read her earlier poem about having a guy’s P in her mouth, the ladies in the audience probably wouldn’t have been as enthusiastic about her performance, I bet.


Now it's time for happy hour.

Chrissy and Somaya patch things up quickly. A little too quickly.


… It’s only because Somaya's got another target in mind. She tells Olivia she's a snitch, and everyone begins shouting and ordering drinks.


At the same time, Emily looks as if she’s checked out of the happy hour.


Olivia says she doesn't want to get G-Unit on Somaya, so she and Chrissy walk away. Emily tells Somaya that this was the wrong place (a restaurant in front of decent people) and the wrong time (happy hour) to confront Olivia. The right time to confront Olivia? When Emily’s not there and not the one who’s organized the meeting, for sure.

Emily takes off to try to track down the ladies, while Somaya has time to stew over Olivia. – That's probably why G-Unit dropped her b*tch ass, – she interviews.


Chrissy and Olivia are sitting just a little bit away when Emily finds them and chastises them for walking away. Olivia yells at Emily for taking Somaya's side, but Emily’s so passive that she doesn’t argue back. Instead she looks past Olivia into the middle distance.


Olivia then storms away, possible to find out what Emily was looking at.


Then Chrissy goes to find Olivia, who promises to never talk to either woman again, calling Somaya Chewbacca 1 and Emily something we don't get to hear, number 2. Whatever it is, it’s clear that Olivia thinks Emily and Somaya are working together against her.


Combine this with Emily confronting Olivia about her relationship with Darelle Revis…


…and you’ve got a recipe for fresh beef.

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