Beverly Hills Fabulous Recap – Episode 9 – Big Girls Don’t Cry

|

Never let them see your sweat. Or better yet, never let them see you.

Katrina starts this episode of Beverly Hills Fabulous by telling us it’s different in the salon now that Esau is in the room. She says they typically only have women in there, and it’s nice having the male perspective. I love that Katrina considers Sean’s deep voice part of the room’s female perspective, and I’m sure Sean would love that too, if Sean were awake.

There’s another reason why Esau’s good to have around: Lolita has a blind date that night, and she asks Katrina to come with her for support. Esau invites himself along as Katrina’s date / support. As we’ll learn later, Katrina needed more support. On the other side, Elgin’s client, this very pregnant woman named Stacey, comes in for a new look. I say anyone who is this pregnant who can rock a transparent shirt and a biker hat is doing just fine, but Stacey wants to look as pretty as possible when she delivers.

Her hair is extremely short for a reason: she cut it off to spite her husband because she’s going through a divorce. But don’t worry about her baby growing up and not remembering when her parents weren’t together — the baby doesn’t belong to her husband. Like a good stylist, Elgin doesn’t judge. But his drama detector does go off:

Back on the other side, Sean tells his client about his budding music career, and how he’s looking to get into the studio. Sean tells us he’s always wanted to work in entertainment, to which I say Sean already works as entertainment. Mission accomplished! But it just so happens that Esau’s client, Big, owns a recording studio. He sets up an introduction on the spot. Just another great reason to have Esau around, no?

Big and Sean make a deal: Big will trade some studio time for four weekly appointments for his ladyfriend. This is, in a word, a big deal. Sean tells us he is ready to…

…rock? Hang ten? Either way, it doesn’t seem like Sean has much experience throwing up the devil horns.

Sean gets to the studio and sees records from Brandy, Luther Vandross, and Chris Brown lining the walls. It’s a virtual who’s who of get-in-the-mood R&B singers!

There’s a producer here too, Harvey Mason, Jr. He’s a Grammy winner who’s written songs for Dreamgirls and many R&B and pop stars. Sean isn’t feeling so confident, for once.

Once he’s in the booth, it’s even worse. He’s sweating. The producer looks frustrated. People are yawning. As you know, Sean is the only one allowed to look bored on Beverly Hills Fabulous, so he’s got a problem.

Back at the salon, Elgin’s preggers client Stacey wants color in her hair. Elgin says she can’t have it, since she’s pregnant. But he’s going to do a wig that’ll be blond and Cleopatra-like, which is what she wants. Any woman who is, as Elgin points out, still talking to her husband while pregnant with another gentleman’s baby, probably has all the Cleopatra they need. This new look will just reinforce:

She’s happy enough for two:

Over at the bowling alley, Lolita, Esau and Katrina meet up with the doctor. On first sight, Lolita is pleased: he’s handsome, he’s got a nice build, and he’s…

"Chocolate."

Lolita tells the doctor that she gets tired and a little sore from standing all day. But she lets him know that she’s still a good bowler.

Things are going well for everyone involved. In fact, maybe things are going a little too well for Katrina, who jumps up and down in her spaghetti strap playsuit after a particularly good frame.

Lolita hopes the end of the date will lead to something good. Instead, it leads to something… odd. Her blind date asks her if she’s ever considered getting lap band surgery, to be the woman that she is inside (which makes sense, since she would become a smaller woman). Lolita is not mad as much as she is shocked:

Everyone knows you recommend surgery on the third date, not the first! This is very forward of him.

Back at the studio, Harvey asks Sean to do a little ad-libbing at the beginning of the song, just to try something new. Sean gives the beginning of the song a little spoken word flavor in the vein of Barry White, and he finally starts to relax. It helps him nail the whole singing part of the song too.

A bit later, Sean gets a package containing his first single, and he giddily gathers the staff to hear it.

The staff is impressed, so impressed that they start to dance. “He sounds like Barry White,” declares Katrina, while Tiffany looks somewhere between surprised and angry that Sean didn’t tell them he could sing.

After they return to their side, Lolita tells Sean what happened on the date. He suggests that she should have choked him with his stethoscope. But it turns out Lolita has sorta kinda considered getting weight surgery, just so she could move and breathe better. Sean asks when was the last time she weighed herself.

It’s been a while.

She gets on the scale — after removing every piece of clothing or accessory she can remove — and the number comes up just on the other side of 300. For Lolita, it was the wrong side. She starts crying.

Sean recommends a doctor, and she agrees to a consultation. Not to get thin — she reminds us that she’ll always represent big girls — but to see her son graduate from school. Then Sean reminds us that the staff are “thicker than thieves” and will always stick together.

Thicker than thieves, but maybe a little less thick.

This week’s hair tips:
If you’ve got wavy hair and your wave pattern isn’t consistent, part your hair into fours and braid it with setting lotion and sit under a dryer for 20 minutes. Undo the braids and your wave pattern will be consistent. Bonus tip from me: Or just leave the braids in, to create a classic Rudy from The Cosby Show look.

Use thermal protector before you heat-style your hair, and use hairspray afterwards to keep your hair from frying. Bonus tip from me: If heat-styling your hair is too damaging, try cold styling. Just wash your hair without towel drying it, and stick your head in the freezer for two hours to get shiny, rock-hard hair.