Well that was certainly epic.
I knew going into this episode that there would be fighting, but I had no idea just how much. Let’s first focus on the lighter side of the show before we get into it though. First there was Drita‘s sexy photo shoot. It was kind of adorable watching her daughter help her pick out outfits right?
It made me forget that sometimes Drita looks like this:
And plus, Drita’s daughter Gizelle seems so sweet.
But of course anything is adorable compared to Carla‘s potty-mouth kid.
We’ll see later in this episode exactly where he learned his language.
After Drita picks out wardrobe, she goes to her photo shoot and she certainly delivers the sexy.
and most definitely here.
Seriously, she is the poster child for working out. And Renee is the poster child for writing letters to loved ones in the clink, hence her new business venture, Jail Mail, Inc. Where the “Inc.” stands for “incarcerated.”
Renee discusses her new business venture with her friend Nikole while seated atop a pile of her prison correspondence.
Which contains a photo of Renee (at Saddle Ranch?) riding a mechanical bull. Don’t think we didn’t catch that, Renee.
Renee says she has actually written somewhere between 5000 and 6000 letters herself, so her idea is to create a website for on-the-go people to personalize and automatically send mail to their loved ones in jail. The Go-Gurt of prison mail, so to speak.
So all of this happy fun time is just the calm before the s—storm, which is about to happen… NOW.
Renee invites Drita, Carla, and Karen to her home, in the hopes that she will ambush Drita into confronting Karen over their unfinished business about Lee. But the ambush doesn’t exactly work because before Drita and Karen can even say hello, this has happened.
So Carla’s boyfriend, who must be under investigation or else we’d be able to call him something besides “Carla’s Boyfriend,” is on Renee’s s— list because he bad-touched Karen, sent Renee a mean text that Renee’s son AJ saw, and then called Renee and bitched her out. And you don’t do that to Renee. So while Carla just wanted to drink some wine from the greatest wine glass of all time (it has 3-D breasts!),
Renee would not let the boyfriend stuff go. This led Carla to not only call Renee a liar, but insult her neck.
And you don’t do that to Renee’s neck.
Karen corroborates Renee’s story that Carla’s Boyfriend is indeed a groper, which, strangely enough, Carla agrees with and doesn’t care about. “He’s a joker, he’s a toucher, he’s a laugher,” she explains. One of these things is not like the other, Carla! And then Carla has the audacity to point out that Gropey Boyfriend groped the asses of Karen and Drita, but not Renee, which must mean Renee is jealous. The first thing we learned from this show was that you always respond in the affirmative if one of these women asks “Do you know who I am?” but now we have learned that you do not say s— to someone in their own house. “You’re going to insult me in my own house?” “You’re insulting me at my own table?” No, ma’am, we are not.
So that, plus the fact that Carla calls Renee a bitch, gets things going, and this happens.
Drita wisely keeps repeating that these women shouldn’t say anything that they can’t come back from, but it would appear to us that the damage is already done, no? Well then, let’s keep adding to the damage.
Drita’s ability to sound reasonable diminishes when she later says “I’ve had enough with the screaming, I wanna punch the f—ing screaming out of everybody,” and then takes off her shoes to really get into it.
Drita is only trying to break her friends’ fight up, but she’s still scary. Right, Gizelle?
Us, too, Gizelle. Us too.
Next week, the fight continues and Karen and Drita get into it about Lee. But will the drama ever be resolved? And more importantly, will anyone remember to take dinner out of the oven?