Welcome back to another dramatic season of Basketball Wives! May I present to you the biggest F’N factor of all, this one t-shirt.
If the women of Basketball Wives prove one thing, it is that relationships can change literally in the blink of an eye. This season, everyone is on the outs with Royce, while Tami and Evelyn have turned from cordial acquaintances to mortal enemies in one conversation, and new wife Meeka Claxton manages to overshare with everyone and put herself on warning over the course of two meals. And den mother Shaunie is probably just glad she doesn’t have to deal with Gloria anymore. So let’s catch up with the ladies, in order of explosiveness this week:
Tami and Evelyn, Explosive Factor: 10
“Evelyn is shady, lacks integrity, and has no moral foundation,” Tami says of her former friend. The season seemed to start off friendly enough for these two, but when Tami finds out that Evelyn is about to start selling her “You’re A Non F’N Factor, Bitch” t-shirts, Tami won’t accept that. But does anyone else find the irony in Tami bringing a lawsuit over a reality TV catchphrase on a t-shirt while she is, in fact wearing one of her own reality TV catchphrases on a t-shirt?
I totally understand Tami’s point that Evelyn is basically cashing in on sleeping with the woman’s then-husband though, and donating proceeds from the shirt to a charity for girls is not really setting a stellar example (congrats, Tami, for sticking to the moral high ground), but then Tami makes fun of how the word “Dulce” is pronounced and slaps Evelyn with a lawsuit which is always the lowest of the low-ground.
Tami asks Evelyn to show “an ounce of decency” to not go forward with the sale of the shirts, but Evelyn refuses. “Negative, positive — my t-shirts are made and I’m going to sell them, point blank, period,” she says. And with that, out come the filing papers.
But then, there go the papers.
And there goes any hope for Tami and Evelyn to reconcile. This frenemy-ship has sailed.
Royce, Explosive Factor: 5
Royce claims she doesn’t speak to Jen, Evelyn or Shaunie anymore because she’s grown and has become more ladylike and classy.
So I guess that means there’s no drama in her life. Hooray!
Just kidding. Royce has broken up with Dwayne and she’s on the prowl. Sorry, I meant on the towel.
Aside from Royce’s search for love, she commiserates with Tami because they’re both anti-Evelyn now. “Like you said, she’s a jump-off, I’m just gonna say she’s a ho…She got a whole garden. Just hoin’,” Royce tells Tami, and proceeds to tend the sassiest garden ever.
And beyond Evelyn’s hoin’, Royce had to deal with Meeka’s preconceived notions about her this week, and who knows what could happen with that. “It was kinda like meeting Gloria again,” Royce says. And we all know what happened to Gloria. We’ve all got our eye on Meeka though, especially since she wants the popular girls to like her so much that she’ll say whatever she needs to say to get into the circle.
Meeka, Explosive Factor: 4
Meeka, wife of retired player Speedy Claxton, has only been in Miami a week to jump-start her “global real estate business,” and already she’s fitting right in, gossiping about everyone and being more of a mole, as Evelyn calls it, than Royce ever was. Meeka opened up (too much, perhaps) to Jen during their lunch together, getting personal about Eric, and then things got weird during yet another lunch with Royce. Right off the bat, Meeka started judging Royce because she’s a dancer (a.k.a. a threat to all wives everywhere, a.k.a. she actually told Royce she felt she was “consorting with the enemy,” so, I mean, know your audience, Meeka.) Royce didn’t seem thrilled.
As soon as Meeka got to dinner with Evelyn, Jen, and Shaunie, she started spilling every bean ever, about what Royce said and wore and did and all that. That immediately made Jen and Evelyn wary, so we’re thinking Meeka might provide more drama than stability this season.
Jennifer, Explosive Factor: 3
Jennifer’s divorce has been taking forrrrevvver to get filed, but this season she has a new bachelorette pad for Evelyn and Shaunie to visit,
and Jen wants the girls to throw her a divorce party complete with a beheaded (and John Wayne Bobbitt-ed) groom cake topper.
But in this episode, the only real drama Jen has is with Meeka, who she thinks is a little too verbose for her liking. Jen’s drama will come soon though, we’re sure, when she goes to file her divorce papers.
Shaunie, Explosive Factor: 3
Shaunie rarely gets involved in the drama, but she’s bringing potentially controversial Meeka into the circle and is still irritated at Royce’s behavior at the reunion,
so she’s not without her issues. She is also not without her cleavage this season.
Suzie, Explosive Factor: 2
Poor Suzie has been on everyone’s s— list since day one last season. Lord knows she will never be friends again with Evelyn, but she’s trying her best to keep things alive with Royce, who she calls out for throwing her under the bus last season, (way to keep things alive, Suzie!) and she wants to jump start her friendship with Tami, too. During drinks with Royce and Ashley (welcome back, Ashley!) Suzie toasts “Here’s to being more mature, grown, successful, and not leeching off any man for s—.” Hopefully that translates to “I promise not to tell my girls’ secrets this season.” But we have a feeling those secrets are gonna spill, no matter who’s supposed to be keeping them.