Basketball Wives 3 – Episode 2 – Don’t Do The Hand

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This week, Basketball Wives felt like it was a volleyball game, it was just a lot of she said-she said back and forth. There was relatively little drama or yelling, but we have a feeling it was all set-up. Meaning that for the rest of the season, we should prepare to get spiked with some hard-hitting balls to the face.

What does our trusty explosive-o-meter say about the ladies of Miami this week? They were all surprisingly tame, actually, but we know better than to assume things will stay that way.

Shaunie, Explosive Factor: 0

Shaunie is just chilling by the pool this week, advising Suzie about how to proceed with the inner circle, but otherwise just looking relaxed in a floppy hat.

Suzie, Explosive Factor: 4

Suzie is currently playing a dangerous game right now, maintaining a friendship with Royce while trying to get back in the inner circle of Jen, Evelyn and Shaunie. Royce is 100% against Suzie having anything to do with Evelyn, and is frankly stunned to hear that Suzie has made contact with the enemy.

Royce says about Evelyn (and their vicious reunion fight) “I can change my hair, I can change my clothes. She can’t change the fact that she’s a ho.” But still, Suzie doesn’t care about all that, she just longs for Evelyn’s forgiveness. “Definitely seems like Royce is now Black Sheep Number One,” Suzie says, explaining that maybe now this means she’s downgraded to a gray sheep. Suzie acknowledges that “on the fence” is a dangerous place to be with these ladies. Especially because their fence appears to be made of electrified barbed wire.

Evelyn, Explosive Factor: A shockingly low 4

We always expect Evelyn to be dialing up the drama, but this week was a good week for her. Sure, she got feisty when it came to Royce, but she was kind of sweet when she was talking about getting in-vitro with Chad and when she was trying to help Jen find an online date.

First of all, what kind of cheap dating site were these women looking at? The “F— Yeah, Sketchy Dudes!” Tumblr?

Later, Evelyn hesitantly welcomed Suzie back into her life,

but when they spoke about Suzie’s friendship with Royce, Evelyn made her feelings very clear, “She can suck three d—s for all I care.” God bless Suzie for asking the only logical follow-up, “Why not four?”

Jen, Explosive Factor: 4

Jen got her dramatic montage of discarded dreams this week, featuring all her best on-camera tussles with Eric, and we saw her as she began the filing process for her divorce. She took offense to hear that Royce still thinks they’re “cool” though, because Royce is a) still following Eric on Twitter and b) still claiming that Jen released those nude photos on the internet herself. Jen tells Suzie in no uncertain terms “You need to drop that zero.” And, we assume, get with the hero?

Royce, Explosive Factor: 5

Poor Royce. From where we sit, the girl is just trying to stay drama-free and avoid conflict, but she still gets in the middle of it anyway. Everyone has pre-judged her for being a dancer, and not that we know anything about this world, but there certainly have to be some basketball cheerleaders and dancers that haven’t slept around with their whole team, right? Are we just being naive? It seems unfair to this woman.

“She is doing everything to be made a f—ing factor…You see what goes on and how she stirs things up,” Evelyn tells Suzie. Royce isn’t happy that Suzie is realigning with Evelyn, and things with Meeka aren’t great either, but at least she has Tami who called her “my ace.” Aw.

Meeka, Explosive Factor: 7

Safe to say Meeka’s not retaining the early friendships she’s making right now. If Suzie is straddling the metaphorical fence, it’s like Meeka is tightrope walking on it while wearing those Alexander McQueen hoof shoes. Meeka has already made up her mind to dislike Royce because she was a dancer, and she has no problem telling the world she’s predisposed to feeling this way, which gets back to Royce and Tami and just makes everyone realize that Meeka talks smack about everyone. “Meeka has a motormouth and it’s only a matter of time before she says the wrong thing to the wrong person,” Evelyn explains.

Tami sees it differently saying, “If she turns out to be the type of person I can get information out of, then I can basically use her as my mole without her even knowing.”

But when Meeka does a little hand-wave in Tami’s face during lunch Tami tells her “I know you don’t know this about me, but don’t do the hand…I don’t do well with that.”

Meeka apologizes, and with that, the most dramatic moment of the evening has passed.

Tami, Explosive Factor: 8

Consider this explosiveness rating like a predictor of things to come. Tami didn’t blow up at anyone tonight, although she did tell Meeka not to get handsy, because “that can really get you popped” in Tami-town.

But you can tell that Tami’s relationships with Meeka and Evelyn are going to be an issue soon. She tells Meeka “Me and Evelyn are like Ike and Tina,” and really, what two people ever want to be a participant in that comparison? “As far as I’m concerned, Meeka is a liar,” Tami says, not dancing around the matter. At this point, Tami is easily the most volatile one to watch, but it’s just a matter of time before something sets each one of these ladies off.

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