Can we all just agree that we shouldn’t ask these people to hang out anymore?
No Shaunie this week, but in her place, we’ve got Ashley and Ashley’s new honking engagement ring!
Welcome to the world of actually being a Basketball Wife (assuming your wedding actually happens), Ashley! And while Evelyn, Jen, and Royce all agree that they are just done with each other completely and they should just stop trying to force a relationship, the same cannot be said of Meeka and Tami, who are at each other’s throats.
Everyone except Meeka and Tami, Explosive Factor: An Argumentative But Still Relatively Neutral 5
Royce is having a hard time getting her point across to Suzie that she doesn’t want to ever deal with the likes of Evelyn and Jen again because all they do is bring drama. “I really don’t think they’re bringing the drama,” Suzie tells Royce, but um, does she not remember that it was Evelyn who hurled the first piece of stemware at Royce when last they met? “I think you’re being real ignorant by being friends with them,” Royce says, and at least she has Ashley to back her up though, because Ashley points out that last season, it was Suzie who was on the outs with Evelyn, and plus, Suzie was kind of a bitch to Royce back then and, wait a minute, why do we like Suzie again?
Well, we like Suzie because at least she’s honest. Honest with Jen, for instance, when she explains that Eric, Jen’s ex, has been calling her to participate in a “business venture”, a.k.a. a creepy-sounding porn-ish movie he’s producing.
After meeting with Eric for lunch, Suzie determines “This guy is shady. He’s just off his rocker,” and from the way Suzie described their lunch to Jen, Jen is like “I dont even know who this person is.” Seriously, if this guy wasn’t sketchy before, he’s definitely sketchy now. Ya dig? “S—, I want that movie to be a hit,” Jen says. “I’ll take fifty percent of that.”
Evelyn manages to keep a low profile this week by focusing on her daughter Shaniece, who’s graduating high school soon.
Shaniece wants to have all the father figures in her life at the graduation party, including Evelyn’s current beau, Chad, and her exes, Antoine Walker and Shaniece’s biological father. “All your men,” Shaniece says. How do you feel about that, Evelyn?
Later, Evelyn tries to convince Shaniece to go to college in New York so they can remain close-ish. “You need to cut the umbilical cord,” Shaniece says to her mother who gets misty at the thought of her kid leaving home. But you know what this means, right? Basketball Wives Road Trip To New York!
Tami and Meeka, Explosive Factor: Bad By Normal Standards, Terrible For Polo Match Standards – 8
Meeka is definitely the type of woman who tried to get in good with the cool crowd in school. It’s obvious that she feels like Tami and Royce are the B-List and she’d do well to insert herself into what she feels is the A-List, Evelyn Shaunie, and Jennifer. “She feels like she has some type of loyalty to me and I’m like, I dont know why,” Jen says when Meeka calls her up to ask if they can roll together at the polo match. You know. Just rolling at the polo match like we do.
Suzie and Royce had asked Meeka to go with them (and with Tami, who Meeka obviously wanted to avoid), but it seems so eighth grade for her to call Jennifer and ask to tag along. Why don’t we all just be adults and arrive separately and not be in cliques? Again, that’s a question we could ask everyone on this show on a daily basis, but I digress.
“Polo players are pretty cute, but they’re pretty short, I think,” Suzie says, confusing polo players with jockeys, and then she proceeds to get pummeled by Tami, who claims that if Suzie was forced to pick sides, she’d pick Team Evelyn and leave Royce in the dirt. And Royce knows it’s true.
It’s pick on Suzie week on Basketball Wives, but to be fair, Suzie has been making weird friendship choices lately, so maybe she needs a kick in the pants. Or maxi-dress. Whatever.
And over at Meeka’s table, she’s telling Jen and Evelyn that while she doesn’t mind Royce, she’s like “Who the f— are you, Tami? If there’s a line drawn, I’m not gonna be with them.” So many hypothetical lines being drawn tonight! When Tami, Royce, and Suzie approach Meeka’s table, Tami’s not thrilled to see them.
See, that’s just a can of worms that seems best left unopened. But she just opened it.
Tami’s not real happy with that.
Funny how Meeka talks about Tami being a pit bull, but when it comes down to it, she’s the tenacious one, ready to start something because she goads Tami into an argument and gets out of her chair ready to get it going.
“Please don’t get up. That’s not the right move, to get up,” Tami tells her. But get up she does. “I’m like, please sit down, because if I punch you, you’re gonna be on the floor.”
They keep getting their jabs in (mostly Tami, actually), until their respective circles pry them apart.
It’s a wonder they don’t get thrown out or that the fight doesn’t get physical. Tami tells Meeka “You ain’t never gonna be in the circle,” which seems about right judging from Jen and Evelyn’s continued ambivalence toward her, and ultimately, that might hurt her more than a punch to the face.
And of course, they leave before anyone watches any polo.