Single Ladies Episode 6 – Gay Is The New Black

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It’s always a funny situation when the woman who used to dress like this is the moral center of the episode, isn’t it?

This week on Single Ladies, the plot does some serious advancing. It’s a positive advancement for some, like Keisha and Val, ambiguous advancement for April and her junkie protege, and, well, Christina‘s situation with her professor just makes us nervous. First, let’s talk about Keisha though, whose story this week was actually the first time she’s been completely truthful, but more than that, she all of a sudden became a grounded, wise sage all of a sudden. It was a nice, if not totally weird and out-of-left-field change. Guess that’s why they threw in those two old pictures of her being a video girl, just to even things out.

Since Keisha had a big week, let’s just list all the ways she matured and was a solid person and excellent friend:
-She finally got her real estate license, which means for the first time ever, she has a respectable job.

-She helped April and her drug-addled star get studio time with a big time producer (Played by Biz Markie!).

-She saved a young girl from a poorly-planned evening of drugs and strange dudes and sleeping in a parking lot, and then gave that girl a pep talk about integrity. Lucky for Keisha, that girl turned out to be Malcolm’s sister and he was so very appreciative to Keisha for returning her home in one piece.

-She came clean to Malcolm about stealing his watch.

That’s an awful lot of do-gooding for one person, especially one person we’re so used to seeing do less than inspirational things. But karma comes back to her, all that honesty and coming clean means one thing: she wins over Malcolm. After she tells him the truth about stealing his watch, he also admits that the reason he paid off Jasmine for that tell-all manuscript all those weeks ago, which would have made Keisha’s past very public, was because his sister, Tanya, a former porn star, was in the pages of the same book and he wanted to protect her. Correct me if I’m wrong, but Tanya was like 20, right? How many lives has she lived? Doesn’t matter, Keisha and Malcolm quickly forget about Tanya and dive into that dirty, sexy energy they have.

All is well, for now, in the land of Keisha, Malcolm, and his unbelievably large house.

Val is also having a lovely time with her new, very wealthy beau, Jerry. They have very realistic dates where they play Wii boxing together:

but then they have totally unreal dates where they fly to Vegas for dinner and he offers her carte blanche use of his private jet. I call fictional rich people bulls—!

But Val’s also contending with the rumor that she and her old college roomie Sharon Love are lovers. (I guess that makes her a Sharon Lover?) Even though Val and Sharon did hook up once in college, claiming that it was just snuggling – due to a lack of heat – that led to sex, Sharon thinks it would be great for her TV ratings if Val pretended to be gay until sweeps week. All this because Sharon is attempting to be the next “big-boned, black woman with ample bosom to cry into,” to fill Oprah’s void. Sharon says, “Gay is the new black,” and really tries to sell Val on the idea, but Val’s not on board with this plan, especially since she’s trying so hard to keep things real with Jerry.
It’s just hard to play things straight (literally!) when the paparazzi snap photos like this

which totally surprises the ladies

and ends up on the cover of Our Magazine. You know Our Magazine don’t you? It’s not quite OK! but it’s not quite Out.

Val have to reassure Jerry that she’s not gay and Jerry proves once again that he is TOO nice. And almost too understanding about his role as possible beard. “I have to admit, I thought the reason you were taking it slow is that I was just a beard. Come on, this is Atlanta. Great city, but not everybody is as evolved as you want them to be,” he tells Val, but she reassures him that she’s very much straight.

And since everyone’s being so honest this week, they also talk about Quinn. Jerry wants to make sure there’s no weirdness, no conflict of interest over the fact that Val’s ex, Quinn, was temporarily engaged to Jerry’s daughter, Shelly. And once again, everyone is very mature about things and they end on a very happy note.

Hooray, maturity! You know who’s not really mature? Christina.

Her relationship with Professor McHipsterGlasses has already soured and as she brushes him off after class. For no reasons other than “I’m 21 and you’re in your 30s,” and “It was just sex, not a relationship,” Christina callously ditches the guy. Not that he wasn’t a controlling prick, but still, you have to know that if you treat a controlling guy poorly, he’s probably going to show up at your apartment with some really bad intentions in an episode or two, right? Christina’s youth and immaturity make it obvious that she’s never seen every Law & Order: SVU ever like I have, and therefore she should watch her back with this guy.

And last, and usually least (sorry, girl), April. April is still trying to tame Reed Durham, the musician she stuck her neck out for at work.

Reed continues to go on drug binges and bails on studio sessions (with Biz Markie! Do I need to say it again? Biz Markie!) that April is paying for out of her own trust fund, and she’s had it up to here (hand held up to her ever-changing bangs-level) with him, all the way up to his overdose. Sorry, but if the television nurse tells you someone overdoses and you cut to commercial, you expect that person to die, right? Not walk into April’s apartment with almost no assistance like an hour later?

But Reed walks in to her place looking only slightly worse than I do when I have to get up early to force myself to the gym, and April lays down the law with him. He will do as she says and put out an album, goshdarnit. Reed whines that he’s afraid to fail, blah blah blah, and then tries to “repay the favor” of kindness to April by hopping in bed with her. Ugh, this guy. WORST!

Between Darryl and Reed, April clearly has no sense of good judgment when it comes to the men she puts her faith in. What April needs is some advice from Keisha. After all, Keisha’s the one who got her life together this week, she should spread the wealth.

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