The always controversial Lady Gaga paid a visit to the always controversial Howard Stern this morning but, somewhat surprisingly, the results were anything but controversial (if you missed it, you can listen to the full Gaga/Stern interview here). Howard being Howard, he tried to get Gaga to spill the beans on her acknowledged history with cocaine and bisexuality, but with tons of Little Monsters listening in, Gaga refused to get too tawdry with the tales she told the King of All Media.
“I regret every line [of cocaine] I ever did,” Gaga confessed. “So to all of the little sweethearts who are listening – don’t ever touch it. It’s the devil.” Proving that she’s taking the maternal responsibilities of being the Mother Monster very seriously, she also advised her littlest Monsters that abstinence is the best policy. “I really think that kids have sex way too young,” she said, and “I’ve got a lot of young fans and I love you and I respect your show and I know you want to talk about sex and cocaine – but honestly you should wait as long as you possibly can to have sex.”
Now, this isn’t to say that Gaga was boring because she refused to get down and dirty with the shockiest jock. Rather, her 90 minute(ish) interview was full of candid and emotionally powerful moments. Her conversation near the end of the interview with High Pitch Mike (one of Stern’s regulars) resulted in one of the more touching moments of the Howard Stern Show’s last few years, and Gaga’s soaring, piano-only performances of “The Edge of Glory” (listen here) and “Hair” (listen here) made the hair on the back of this writer’s neck stand at attention. It made us wish that Gaga would release a stripped-down, acoustic version of her Born This Way, one that would allow her lyrics and melodies to dazzle in the way that they were intended to without listeners getting barraged by overly trance-y production.
As you’ll recall, Gaga’s Little Monsters unleashed a fury of Twitter-driven haterade on Katy Perry after Perry posted a picture of herself planking while dressed as a mermaid. Unbeknownst to the millenial Monsters, though, Bette Midler has been doing the whole mermaid-in-a-wheelchair thing since the
early Eighties late Seventies. On Friday, Midler tweeted that “I’m not sure @ladygaga knows that I’ve performed my mermaid in a wheelchair for millions of people — and many of them are still alive…..” Apparently not feeling like she was being heard, she sent another another strongly worded Tweet on Saturday, basically accusing Gaga of intellectual property theft:
Oh SNAP, it’s an all-out battle of gay icons! And unlike the classic “Which came first: The chicken or the egg?” conundrum, it’s pretty clear that Midler’s Delores DeLago routine was hatched¹ years before Gaga’s “Yuyi The Mermaid” came to life. In fact, and we don’t mean to tell tales out of school or anything here, but Midler was doing her mermaid bit before Gaga was even BORN. So, advantage Midler.
Gaga has yet to respond publicly to these allegations, but maybe we’d like to suggest that she consider inviting Midler to cameo in her new video. (And while she’s at it, she should put in a call to Daryl Hannah, too!) This way, she could pay homage to the world’s most legendary mermaids in video form, and we could avoid an all-out mermaid beef of Biggie/Tupac proportions. Really, ladies, you should just get together and split some dolphin-free tuna salad before things get too fishy!
¹ Or is it birthed? We’re not entirely sure if mermaids are hatched like fish or born like humans, mainly because we never bothered to see the new Pirates of the Carribean movie.
Lady Gaga Talks Sex And Drugs With Howard Stern [Contact Music]