These guys really know how to end on a dramatic note. Before we give into this episode’s events, we have a question…
Okay, now that you’ve weighed in, let’s recap.
At the beginning of this episode of Basketball Wives after she gets blown off by Jennifer and annoyed by Suzie, Royce says “I’m sick of them and their bitter-ass circle and their miserable-ass lives.” Thus concluding the Royce portion of the episode and season. (And, we should point out, there’s no sign of Meeka anywhere either, so she really did get the hell out of dodge after Rome.)
The rest of the show focuses on Jennifer and her vengeance cake,
vengeance makeout session
and, yes, that drink to the face that I think might result in a slightly more aggressive vengeance alimony payment from Eric. Let’s work backward — that drink to the face. Uh. Muh. Gah. Look, yes, Jennifer threw her glass his way first, and yes, things were heated already, but man, was this a terrible move on Eric’s part. As he even says before he meets Jen, she’s got a dream team of lawyers. Do you really want that dream team using this against you?
We’ll never know the specifics of what went down to make Eric so upset — Jen said something insulting to his mother, apparently, which is also a no-no, but we can’t judge on what we haven’t seen, all we know is their divorce discussion clearly went south. We also know that the contents of Jen’s cocktail glass were pulling double duty as an astringent that night, to Jen’s shock and horror.
(We pointed out last week that after the teaser clip of the drink-toss aired, Eric tweeted his defense, saying he was casting demons out of Jennifer, but, um, that only makes him look crazy, right?)
As we continue to work backwards, we move to happier times, Jen’s divorce party, which the drink incident makes clear is the best kind of party this woman could have. First, she pulverizes an Eric pinata.
(God bless Tami for going straight for the cash that was hidden inside).
She also gets a divorce cake, with some help from Suzie. The two put a lot of thought into the cake when they went to buy it. “I want it to symbolize freedom…divorce…independence,” Jen said. “I think it should be a huge giant cake of her husbands head cut off with blood drops, and with him sad-faced and crying,” Suzie suggests. Potato, potahto.
The end result was more gory than anything either of them probably could have thought of, with a trail of blood pouring down each tier and a dead Eric at the bottom of it.
Jen stabs the sugar sculpture of Eric, complete with a deflated basketball and fondant lumphead, until he’s nothing but a sticky confectionery mess.
Perhaps her biggest triumph of all at her party is her hot and heavy make out with William, who is her rebound guy (which is only appropriate for a basketball wife). The athletic prowess extends to tonsil hockey, and it turns out all of Jennifer’s friends love to watch that sport.
Jen isn’t the only one with a man problem this week, Evelyn is also having her differences with Chad too (although it’s nothing a roll in the hay can’t cure in the end). Ev confronts Chad about eating with another woman at a restaurant. “There’s just certain situations you can’t put a woman in,” Evelyn tells Chad. Like the situation where your very famous fiancee has lunch with another woman, which can lead to public scrutiny. Now I don’t know if Chad doesn’t get it or just doesn’t care, but he is like “What’s the BFD?” and that only raises Evelyn’s blood pressure. But you know what? These two are adults, and like adults, they resolve it when Chad tells Evelyn so tenderly, so apologetically, “I’m sorry. But there’s something I’ve been meaning to tell you. I wanna f—.”
If only every disagreement could resolve itself so easily.
And how exactly does everything this season resolve itself? Only the two-part reunion will tell. Make sure to tune in to part one of the Basketball Wives Reunion, airing next Monday, August 15 at 8 p.m., which marks the first time all the ladies have been together since filming. Will things turn violent again with Meeka? Will Jen and Eric have it out on camera? You’ll have to watch to find out!