La La’s Full Court Life – Episode 1 – Nuggets, Knicks, And Nipple Rings

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After marrying Carmelo Anthony on La La’s Full Court Wedding, La La Vasquez settled into married life in Denver while also focusing on her son and her career. But big things were happening for the Vasquez-Anthony clan and as as you’ve probably heard, Anthony was traded to the Knicks. On this season of La La’s Full Court Life, the family’s move to New York City means big changes for everyone, and we’re getting a close-up look at them.

The series kicked off with La La realizing she might have to say goodbye to her sprawling Denver mansion (but, admittedly, a boring Denver life) because Melo was likely going to be traded at any second. And as La La explains, when a trade happens, it’s overnight and you have to be ready to move immediately. So on the cusp of their potential move, La La invites her BFFs Kelly Rowland and Po to Denver for one last mile-high hurrah involving bowling, pancakes, and streaking.

First, let’s get a quick look at La La’s house, which is the size of Manhattan.

La La is a native New Yorker, but I just hope she remembers that most apartments in the city are 1/1000th the size of this manse. But that’s not relevant to this episode, let’s get back to Auntie Kelly and Auntie Po, who are in for a visit.

La La’s got three goals for her ladies while they’re there:

1) Have Kelly make a pancake breakfast.

Who knew she was so handy in the kitchen?. Lemon zest pancakes with blueberry syrup sounds delicious, but I believe I asked for a LARGE side of bananas.

2) Hook up Kelly with Afflalo by any means necessary.

This means forcing them to flirt while they go bowling, making Kelly check off one of those 7th-grade questionnaires asking “Do you like me? Yes. No.” (It’s refreshing to know that even 1/3 of Destiny’s Child is not above this kind of goofy, childish flirtation.)

Unfortunately, La La is an unsuccessful Yente and the matchmaking is bust, Kelly only likes Afflalo “AS FRIENDS.”

3) Get Po To Streak Through The Cold Denver Night

La La set up a competitive bowling night, Melo and his teammates against La La, Po, Kelly and her brother, Diego Cash. The losing team has to pick one person to run naked outside, and when La La’s team loses, Po is chosen as the streaker on account of her nipple rings. Makes sense (not really).

Po’s disappointed when she learns the bowling score.

But she gamely accepts the challenge:

This is both hilarious but also a form of torture and I feel sorry for Po, even though she doesn’t seem to mind that much. La La wants to get all her kicks in now in Denver because who knows where she’ll end up once this trade finally happens? Well, okay, we all know now, but still, you can’t streak through Manhattan as easily as you can in Denver, and that’s where La La is about to be spending the rest of this season.

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