Last week, Ton Of Cash lost one of its most unforgettable players, Jonny “The Greek Mystique” Sarhanis. But in true Greek Mystique fashion, Jonny did not go quietly. No, he bid one of the most insane farewells that reality TV has ever seen, involving a speech from Rocky Balboa and the performance he calls “The Animal” that’s gone viral and gotten a million hits on YouTube.
I chatted with Jonny this week to find out the origins of “The Animal” and while I got in some of my own questions, by the end, Jonny was a one-man interview operation, asking and answering his own questions. Behold, the best interview I’ve ever not conducted, plus a GIF of his famous freakout.
You pulled out every quote you could from every Stallone movie in that episode, is that your thing?
I’ve been doing those monologues since I was like thirteen, I used to just do it to make people laugh and at parties, but people love when I do The Animal. That’s like, famous across the United States of America. People absolutely love that. I’m not surprised that America loves it so much and I hope I can perform it again soon on TV. As far as the Rocky monologues, that just touched me. All my life growing up, I watched those movies over and over, non-stop. My parents were concerned because I wasn’t reading as much books as they’d like, but those movies taught me a lot about life and I attribute the message to every day life. It was no secret I was obsessed with the Rocky movies, I have to laugh at the YouTube comments where people are like “He’s doin’ the monologue from Rocky VI!” and it’s like, “No sh*t.”
So you actually believe those monologues and take them to heart, it’s not just a party trick.
Yes! I take them to heart, they made me a better person. You persevere, you work hard and you’ll get to where you want to be. I’m flattered, I got to live out my childhood dream on TV. I got to be famous for things I love, original things I created. I mean, even thought it’s from Rocky, nobody does the monologues with Rocky and Adrian’s voice at the same time.
Where did the Animal come from?
I started doing the Animal to make my friends laugh when I was like thirteen. I guess what inspired it was Michael Jackson‘s “Thriller” video and Michael J. Fox in Teen Wolf. I would just look at my Greek physique in the mirror and one day I put it real close, and I made it tight and I made the veins stick out in my neck and I was like wow, that’s kinda scary. If people didn’t know me, they were usually blown away or didn’t know how to react to it, some people were scared. But if you know me, you’ll think it’s hilarious. The whole world has seen it now. I would always do it for my friends, people would stop parties to see me do it, and I would always perform it and now it’s time to get paid to perform it.
Did it ever help you pick up girls?
Let’s just say I’m a real “Animal” in the sack. People love the Animal. I’m a trainer, I’m in the gym almost every day…I wanna look good. I wanna walk down the beach and I want a girl to see me and say “I wanna f— him.” That’s my goal.
Thanks so much for chatting, Jonny—
I have more questions and answers that are awesome if you want to hear them. They’ll probably blow your mind.
Really? I do want to hear them.
How about this? How about if someone asked me “Do you have a girlfriend?” I’d say “I don’t think one woman could satisfy the Greek Mystique, to be honest with you. I need a woman who can stimulate my mind and c*ck, then I won’t go looking elsewhere for it. But in the big picture, who wants to marry the Greek Mystique? Chicks need flowers, vacations, jewelry and all I wanna do is bone forever. I don’t do kids, I don’t do marriage, and I DON’T PLAY HOUSE.”
You never want to get married?
Maybe when I’m like forty and halfway dead…So the YouTube clip is nearing a million hits, so I would say “How does it feel to be famous?” I’ve been famous all my life. Maybe not in Hollywood, but if I get the chance, I will put the “wood” in Hollywood. “What’s your reaction to people commenting that you’re on steroids?” I’ve never done a steroid in my life. Steroids are for p*ssies as far as I’m concerned. I have a body like one of those Greek God statues, you know, the ones with the d*ck cut off? Just call me the Greek Mystique with the Greek physique.
I don’t even have to be on this call anymore.
Is it cool if I keep going?
“How will the video of the Animal going viral change your reality TV career?” Well, with the Animal going viral, I’m expecting the entire world to know who the Greek Mystique is. Who knows? I’d love to have my own show someday. Okaaay? Okay. “You work out a lot and are very tan, which has spawned some comparisons to The Jersey Shore, what’s your take?” I’m not aware of any comparisons to Jersey Shore. I’ve never seen the show but the guys on the show definitely are not ripped. “Would you do the Animal at appearances for money?” Yes, I would because I’ve been doing it my whole life and it’s time I get paid for it. I think I could get club appearances and endorsements for it like the old Macho Man Slim Jim commercials. “Does it hurt to do the Animal?” I can’t really control the Animal, it has a mind of its own. When he wants to surface, it just comes out and takes over my entire body. The Animal surfaced on Ton Of Cash because I was upset when I lost to Chuckie B. and was going home. So when I get angry, the Animal can come out and pop off on national TV. I’m just glad my head didn’t pop off. “Tell us briefly about your arm wrestling career?” What can I say? My arm’s so strong, when I spank it I have to be careful I don’t rip my d*ck off. Seriously though, I’m a California five time state champion. “Who are your heroes?” Tom Brady and Rocky Balboa.”How would you address your fans?” I would just say thank you. I’m glad people love it. I’m not surprised by it. It makes sense that America loves it. I look forward to doing it again on TV. COPY THAT.
For even more with Jonny, check out his interview on Zimbio.com.