Tough Talk With Steve Ward: Episode 2

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Master Matchmaker Steve Ward is back for a third season of Tough Love, and this time he’s traveled south to Miami where the heat is definitely on. Steve will be giving us his thoughts on every episode, so for episode two, he admits he has no remorse for putting Jane’s mugshot out there for the world to see, because honesty is the only policy. He also gets into how too many people aren’t cautious enough with their online profiles.

Hi, Elizabeth! So what did you think of the show?

I was so entertained. And people are still tweeting about it too, it’s getting great feedback!

If you go into Twitter and search my name or Tough Love, you try to find one bad thing people are saying about the show, one negative comment, I’m gonna tell you, you’re going to have a hard time.

I did see somebody call you out for posting Jane‘s mugshot, and I understand you can Google it and it’s public, but did you ever hesitate for a moment at putting that out there?

No. Not even a blink of an eye.

The way I look at it, people need to be honest with their life and face your demons. I don’t hide anything I’ve done in my life and that makes me unassailable. I can run for president of the United States and not worry about something I’ve done that I haven’t been public about. When you hide s—, it’s going to catch up to you and people are going to start thinking “Why should I trust you if you hide s—?” I’d rather have people know my flaws and know that I’ve grown from them rather than people assuming I’m flawless and finding out later on that they were misled.

Jane’s date seemed cool about it though. Did you let the guys know you would be unleashing so much dirty laundry? Because he took it so well.

Nope. I need genuine reactions, and they had no idea.

We didn’t see any embarrassing photos or Internet trails from Michelle and Claudia at all.

Michelle is PERFECT. Google Michelle Betts, friend her on Facebook. I’ll tell you something, you’re going to be impressed. She’s smart, she has inspirational quotes and positive photos, anything you find is extremely positive, there is nothing negative about her out there.

Did you show her date ANYthing?

No. And Claudia is a professional working actress, so in her community, she’s very careful about what’s posted online about her too. Those two girls weren’t doing anything wrong in this particular area. The other girls are. What does that say? Two out of eight women are okay and six out of eight aren’t. So just using the sample on the show, three quarters of women don’t know how to manage their online profiles.

Avonte went from being Miss Other Woman in the first episode to being Miss Crazy Attitude and she was not so nice.

That’s her defense mechanism. What she does is she becomes very string and stand-offish and is a provocateur. She believes if some guy can take it and deal with it and give a little bit back, he’ll be able to take her in the long haul, she tests guys as soon as she meets them to see how thick their skin is. The point of the show is, I’m developing their characters in the proper order that a relationship develops.

The other women were definitely taken aback when they saw how Avonte behaved.

That’s the power of group, it’s one thing for a bunch of guys to disagree with your behavior, like, take for instance the comments about the way Claudia was dressing, but it’s amplified when the girls see the same thing. When they live with each other and express their emotions to each other, it works almost as effectively as hearing it from the guys.

Is it that close co-habitation that made Jane realize she finally has a group of female friends? It seemed like she still hadn’t formed that much of a bond with them all and it was hard to tell if she was for real.

Were they best friends? No. Did the girls really even like her? Not really. I have friends I don’t like that much, it sounds counterintuitive, but I do. I have friends that piss me off and drive me crazy, but I love them and have history with them. These girls are forced to coexist and keep the peace and this is the closest thing she’s ever had to friends. Whether or not you or I would consider that friendship makes no difference, it’s the closest thing she’s had to friends in a long time.

Was there anyone who got really out of hand in the texting exercise? I feel like Christine‘s subtle innuendo wasn’t really risque, so was anyone much crazier than that?

No, but that wasn’t the point. These girls were meeting strangers. They didn’t even know who these guys were. So I think if I did this later on with guys they had been seeing, maybe guys they had met before, it would have gotten more provocative. Again, we’re in the I just met you stage, and the arc of the show mimics the arc of a relationship. The first week was first impressions. Step one, make a connection. Step two, get to know the guy a little bit better. You give him your number, and you start Googling him, maybe you send him a friend request. And then you go out on your first date. It’s basically like what happened in the sports bar. What do you think happens next week? That’s when it becomes about chemistry. That’s what you need to know next. If you have enough chemistry to keep moving forward with someone, you’re on the right track.

If you want to keep up to date with Steve Ward or even ask him for some love advice, make sure you follow him on Twitter (@stevenbward), like him Facebook, and friend him on Google Plus.

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