We’ve been in touch with Basketball Wives L.A. star Jackie Christie recently to discuss her many weddings, and she graciously offered to write a column for the VH1 blog with the advice and wisdom she’s picked up after years of marriage to retired NBA star Doug Christie. The Christies’ relationship has been inspirational for many of their peers, and they’ve never compromised it, they put family and each other ahead of everything else. The pair wrote a book, No Ordinary Love, together and we’re glad that Jackie has chosen to share even more of her words of wisdom as a true basketball wife with us.
Being married to a pro athlete, you do in fact live in a glass house! But that’s fine with me because I’m an open book anyway, and with three prior marriages, and my current marriage lasting over a decade, I feel I’m definitely an expert on the subject. So come on over and look inside of my life with my soul mate, best friend, and husband!
I have married my husband Doug Christie, former NBA Star, Author, Cook, Teacher, Father and Mentor, sixteen times! Just in case your new to our story and let me tell you we have a story! We like to call it a “true Christie modern day romance.” We give it this name because it’s what we share. We also have traditional parts to our marriage and, as you will find, we have raised the bar! And we are blazing new trails… when it comes to marriage, commitment and relationships.
Doug and I are often asked how do we keep our marriage fresh, alive,and the fire burning? Our answer is this:
LOVE: Love is beautiful, love is free, love is sexy, and love is deep. It is loyal ,it is respectful, it is solid. And it is the foundation of all strong marriages and relationships. Love is everything and all things, and when you’re sharing your love with someone special, it is one of the best feelings in the world, one that we can’t explain but we feel and it puts a smile on our faces and on our hearts.
RESPECT: You have to respect yourself first and foremost so that in turn you can respect your partner, you both will make better decisions in regards to your relationship and each other. Your relationship must be built on respect. Respect is what a couple relies on from each other when the rest of the world may not show them any, it makes you both feel more confident in your relationship when you know your partner respects your opinion as well as your advice.
COMMUNICATION: Without communication, your relationship is sure to suffer, as no one is a mind reader. You must be able to tell your partner what you want and need from them and vice versa. Communication also adds to the intimacy the two of you share, because you’re spending good quality time talking and sharing with one another your inner most feelings and thoughts. And that’s so sexy as well as it lets your partner know you love them enough to communicate with them, so that the two of you can get on the same page.
INTIMACY: This is such an important ingredient in all relationships! To me intimacy is not just the physical part between a couple, it’s also the small things…The sexy words, the secrets shared between two people. And the times when you run a bubble bath for your partner or spoil them for the day. It’s the special ingredient every relationship has to have to survive. Intimacy is what makes a woman feel sexy, loved, and respected. It’s also what makes a man feel special, satisfied, and like he has all that he wants and needs in his relationship. I suggest couple’s practice sharing deep intimate secrets and private fantasies with each other. This will build to higher and greater sharing. There is a place two people in a relationship can go mentally that is far beyond the physical acts of having sex and I know, as my hubby and I have been there.:-)
HONESTY: No matter what, always be honest with yourself and your partner. Never tell little white lies in regards to your relationship, they will come back to hunt you. Honesty in a relationship is very important, it is a must and it shows your mate you love and care enough about them to tell them the truth. Honesty also adds to the closeness the two of you share.
Always put each other first, there will be times when things may not run smoothly in your marriage or relationship, and that’s quite alright. Just as long as you remain committed to your relationship, you will weather any storm the two of you may encounter. Having your soul mate is truly the best thing in the world!