Tough Love – Episode 3 – Hair’s The Thing

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It was a week of traumatic makeovers and breaking the cycle co-dependency on Tough Love Miami. Brigette is co-dependent on Anthony, and Christine is co-dependent on her hair extensions. I think Brigette would break up with Anthony before Christine would ever break up with her hair.

Not many people like to wake up at the crack of dawn, but I think NO one would appreciate being woken up by an air horn while also having your personal space ransacked. Alas, another day at Tough Love bootcamp, another trip outside the comfort zone.

This episode also marks the return of Joann Ward! I just want to apologize to JoAnn though because it’s her first day on the scene and already she’s forced to deal with the “dead animal” chunks of hair on the floor, and the stripper heels, OH, the stripper heels.

They belong to Chasity the go-go dancer who puts “stripper heels” in quotes when she talks about her shoes

as if that changes what they are. I feel bad for Chasity because she says “I don’t want guys to think I’m a dirty stripper,” but she IS a nearly nude dancer and while I’m not judging her for that, from the world I live in, there isn’t a huge difference. And wearing those shoes in the real world is not helping your case.

After the bedroom and bathroom ransack, two breakdowns occur. Brigette freaks out a little bit when she realizes she’s makeup-free, telling JoAnn “I felt really naked and insecure without my makeup on,” but clearly, Brigette feels insecure with or without her Wet N’ Wild.

JoAnn talks her down and all is well, especially once Brigette lays eyes on her hairstylist, who she flirts with for the rest of the day. Steve certainly notices this and he later calls her out on it, but he tells us “Brigette’s ups and downs are because she’s starved for attention.”

The second breakdown belongs to Christine. When Christine’s extensions were found, she was embarrassed. But when Steve took them away from her altogether, she was livid. Beauty queens are controlling about their looks, I’m realizing. “I want a man to love me for who I am and what I look like, not what Steve wants to make me into,” Christine says at the thought of getting made over.

“I’m confident with my fake hair! I love it,” she exclaims, upset that she’s not allowed to use extensions (and Jane is! Damn that Jane). But to be honest, she looked way better before, those blonde and red streaks belong on an American Idol contestant, back when they made over American Idol contestants. Still, even though she’s allowed to change her look back (which is pretty nice of Steve), she’s still a sourpuss.

Jane, who was the overall winner of the day, was the reason for Christine’s annoyance, because as I said, she received extensions, and extensions are the cause of all happiness in Christine’s world. When Jane showed any smidge of joy at her new look, Christine was immediately pissed off. After her makeover Jane says “I feel great. My inner beauty and outer beauty is equal.” She does look great, and it definitely has changed her bossy, b*tchy attitude.

“To tell you the truth,”Jane says, “I feel like a Victoria’s Secret model.” Man, does that ever piss off Christine.

And now, a look at all the women, before and after:
Christine:


Chasity (sorry, Chasity was spinning really fast, so she’s blurred)


Avonte


Brigette


Claudia


Leilani


Michelle


Jane

Now that they’re all glammed up, the next phase of the challenge is going to a pool party wearing nothing but a bathing suit. While that might have presented a challenge in and of itself for Christine at one point in this process, she’s still running on her hair-extension anger and doesn’t even let her body issues phase her, so in that respect…good…for…her?

She and her arch nemesis Jane do really well interacting with their dates, but once again, Avonte is on the defensive and making her date feel like crap. She tells him she’s not sold on the idea of marriage and that if she ever wants kids, she needs a sperm donor. Just what a man wants to hear on the first date, right?

Avonte thinks her behavior is fine though compared to Brigette. I’m convinced no one else in the house calls Brigette’s behavior “pulling a Brigette,” it’s just Avonte trying to deflect some of her own bad behavior, but “The Brigette” as Avonte explains it, is doing too much, too soon. I would imagine doing “The Avonte” would entail doing as much as you can then to make your date feel like you hate him.

Michelle gets a little bit underwater handsy with her date in the pool and is dismayed to know that he was just reciprocating for the hell of it, and not because he actually liked her.

So even though Christine was a crybaby, Avonte was still too forward, and Michelle was trying to do some hot and heavy underwater basket weaving with her date’s shorts, the hot seat belonged to Brigette this week. Brigette, who just hours ago was flirting with her hairdresser, Jimmy, has already started making plans for her date, Anthony, to visit her on Long Island and go on a super-not-awkward-at-all date for three with her mom to the wineries. Also, they were making out all over the place.

And drunk dancing.

Steve chastises Brigette for taking her relationship from zero to sixty in one pool party

but I tend to think that if Anthony is feeding off this and the feeling is mutual, is it so bad? It doesn’t matter what I think though, clearly I’d be a terrible boot camp counselor. However, I have a feeling that next week, when Anthony asks Brigette for HER RING SIZE, that’s when I’d start to get concerned.