Basketball Wives L.A., why must you confuse me so??? I have no idea who to trust anymore.
Let’s start this super-confusing, double-talking, crazy episode where the last one left off. “I was told that Laura had been speaking about me in a very negative way,” Jackie tells us, and she explains that while she was at Laura’s charity event, “My blood was boiling and my heart was pounding. She was going to feel my wrath.” But Jackie was at least able to muster up the strength for a fake wave.
And even though the mature thing to do would be to take Laura aside and tell her she’s hurt, Jackie just makes everyone uncomfortable by slipping in passive-aggressive (or are they just aggressive-aggressive?) statements directed at Laura about weight and how she (Jackie) looks. Finally it’s Draya, the one everyone calls immature and young and foolish, who calls it out and shuts Jackie down. “Can we stop with that? Seriously.” SERIOUSLY!
At this point, no one else has stepped up to say that they have actually heard any comments firsthand from Laura, so we’re just taking Jackie’s word for it. Laura has conveniently taken off for Orlando to look for a house because she’s decided that she wants to love closer to her ex (not anymore!), so she’s not there to defend herself, and apparently this episode was shot in a cell phone dead zone, because no one thinks to call Laura to find out what the hell Jackie is talking about.
What’s also confusing is how Jackie and Draya are constantly together now. Later, Draya takes Jackie fabric shopping and all of a sudden this turns into an episode of Project Runway.
Draya is starting a bikini line for women of all breast sizes who also have no hair down there, and she wants Jackie, who is also a fashion designer, to mentor her. It seems innocent enough, but it also seems really effing weird that these two are inseparable now.
Draya and her mom and her son, Kniko (nice to finally meet you, Kniko, we’ve heard so much about you!)
head to the beach and while I sort of question the bathing suit Draya chooses to wear while playing catch with her kid,
she explains that she and he are best friends and she can’t wait for the day when she can move him and her mother out here to live with her.
Like Suzie before her, Draya decides that the best way to get her foot in the acting door is through improv, but unlike Suzie, Draya seems to do really well in the class.
As someone who has taken improv classes, it definitely isn’t easy and it was nice to see that Draya eased into class and wasn’t a deer in headlights the whole time. And anytime you can work “Chinese people eat lots of soy” into a rap is just a bonus.
Draya gives Jackie the friendship day off, so Malaysia takes Jackie shopping and Jackie decides that if she’s being talked about, she’s going to level the playing field and let anyone who is being talked about know it. So she tells Malaysia that “a lot of the girls” are saying she’s too “preachy.”
“They can go to hell,” is Malaysia’s simple answer. And coming from a churchy type, you know that means something.
Speaking of church, Gloria and Matt take their boys to get baptized, and for like three seconds, Gloria gets wistful and is like “I’m in a church, in a white dress, maybe I should get married?”
and then does a 180 in the same breath being like “Nah, it can wait a year or ten!” What??
Malaysia returns Jackie to Draya so that they can hang out again , and Jackie tells Draya something about the girls having problems with her. Draya, once again not really interested in playing games, explains “I dont know what she’s talking about.”
Hey, that makes ALL OF US! “She’s trying to make it seem like everybody have drama with me, but I don’t think the drama’s with me. She’s got the drama. According to Jackie, there’s a whole lot of gossiping when I’m not around.”
Later, we find ourselves at the party for Malaysia’s jewelry (jurry) line for kids, which is actually pretty cute but, hello, making $3,000 bracelets that look like candy means some child or pet is going to eventually end up taking a very expensive s—. Jackie gushes effusively about the jurry and Imani (Hi, Imani! Welcome to the episode!) calls bulls— on her, saying it was a little too over the top to be believable. Seriously, Jackie, are you auditioning for Richard III? (I barely know what that means, btw. I took improv, not theater classes.) Still, Malaysia is flattered.
Apparently, Jackie has not only told Imani that Laura’s talking smack about her too, but she has hijacked the whole party to revolve around hating on Laura, instead of where the focus should be, which is diamond-encrusted robot necklaces for toddlers.
As Jackie plots to turn the world against the Govans, Jason the celebrity jeweler beams with pride knowing that sometime in the near future, some well-off children are about to look that much more fabulous in his Swarovski-strawberry bling. Their mothers, however, will be knee deep in the dirt, wrestling with pigs, i.e. each other.