Ton Of Cash – Episode 9 – I Thought We Were Bros, Man


28 miles to Vegas! But the course that means things are getting harder and this challenge involves actual skills like knot-untying and problem solving and MATH. That stuff is hard!

The course on this week’s Ton Of Cash is like something I would have done in my high school’s Project Adventure class. Did anyone else have that in school? Like a ropes course/zipline type of gym class that almost always required the use of carabiners in some fashion? Just me? Okay. The group needs to send their money in duffel bags down a series of four ziplines, but in order to get the duffel bags, they need to solve a series of challenges at various checkpoints.

“My least best subject in school was math. My most best subject probably was English,” Amie says after volunteering for the checkpoint that requires the solving of an extensive math problem. Remember, she’s WORSE at math than she is at English.

So we’ve got Amie on math duty at checkpoint one, Temica untying a sequence of rope knots at #2, Rusty on heavy bag pulling duty at checkpoint three, and Vanessa using binoculars to solve a word problem that will lead her to more bags at checkpoint four.

“This is some white people s—. Black people don’t zipline,” Temica said before actually ziplining. After she was finished, she changed her tune and called it “freaking awesome.” If this show has done nothing else over nine episodes, it has dispelled at least one racial stereotype. The one about black people and ziplines.

Amie and Temica have agreed to work especially slowly so that financial adviser James is in the bottom three. What they don’t account for is just how bad Amie is at math — girlfriend didn’t need to throw the game after all, she was so legitimately bad at solving her problem that she put the team way behind. That, in addition to Temica’s lack of team effort, Vanessa’s inability to solve a word problem in 45 minutes, and poor Justin bringing the last thirteen bricks down a rocky mountain in a wheelbarrow (and losing $30k along the way),

and you have a group that’s now only competing for $207,000.

When it comes to James choosing two people who are up for elimination, he has a difficult decision. After learning that Rusty schemed to get him kicked off two challenges ago, he’s a little hurt and says the only thing a dude can say at a time like this. “I thought we were bros, man!”

“I don’t deal well with confrontation,” James says “Why do you think I’ve been drinking so much?!” Well, that’s your excuse. What’s everyone else’s?

At the double-elimination prove your worth challenge, James chooses Amie and Temica to be in the bottom with him.

Doesn’t anyone have any respect for the sanctity of strategically sleeping with one another for personal gain anymore? It’s like James and Amie’s hookup meant NOTHING!

The prove your worth challenge is about using a slingshot to break these glass banks with Rusty, Justin, and Vanessa’s names on them. I don’t fully understand the logic of it, but blah blah blah, Vanessa ends up being the person responsible for choosing who gets sent home. And you thought Vanessa’s expression was confused normally.

Vanessa first chooses Temica, saying “The Temica RoShawn show has just been cancelled!” but hooooboy, Temica doesn’t take this lying down. She takes it classy-like, by actually spitting on Vanessa.

Let’s see that a little more close up if we can.

She then tells everyone (us included, I think, sorry to the audience at home) to kiss her a— before she deuces out.

When Vanessa tells James she’s voting him off too, he takes it slightly better.

“Please walk away slowly so I can remember what I had,” Justin tells James. And walk away he does. And the rest of the group walks a few steps closer to the (significantly reduced but still helpful to their financial situation) jackpot.

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