You have to love Chrissy Lampkin for being the type of woman who, even when she’s walking around her own garage in sweats, still drinks her bubbly with a strawberry garnish and during the course of her conversation with Jimmy, tells him he works for her. (“Ya work for me, blood.”)
Chrissy comes clean to Jim about the dinner she had with Yandy (correction: no eating ever actually gets accomplished at these meals so it was a one-sided happy hour where Yandy got a drink and Chrissy walked out) and she tells Jim how frustrated she is that Yandy doesn’t seem to get it, despite all of Chrissy’s warnings and conversations with her, Yandy still manages to offend Chrissy constantly. “When it comes to common sense, sometimes she’s stupid as a mother f—er,” Jim says about Yandy. Chrissy seems angling for Jim to ditch Yandy and he asks “Do you think you can do a better job than her?” She responds “I can do it with my eyes closed,” Chrissy tells Jim. And then she walks off to finish her champagne in peace.
Emily and Kimbella meet up again (for what, the eighth, ninth time?) to discuss their relationship. Kimbella says Emily came to her party “talking crazy out your mouth” and Kimbella was offended that Emily would have the nerve to make such a personally offensive toast at an event that was in her honor. *cough*
For Kimbella to not see the irony here is insaaaaaane.
You gotta love that Emily basically never intends to stick around, she has this conversation with the car door open and doesn’t stay more than five minutes. “What I said is what I said. I don’t care. Whatchu want?” Emily says, and then warns Kimbella that Fab is not unique, rappers who cheat are a dime a dozen, and “Karma is a bitch.”
“Let’s move forward,” Kimbella implores. “And then hopefully…we can work out being friends.” Oh, but I don’t think so, K. Emily does not want to be your friend. Not today, anyway. “Truth be told, I still don’t want to be her friend. I have friends. I have enough of them. And none of them screwed my ex man.”
“There’s something that’s not resonating and that s— scares me,” Olivia‘s manager Rich says about her music while she drives him around (“Driving Mr. Dollaz”).
They’re struggling to get a record deal and he tells her so. “‘December’ is about to go away,” he says. “It didn’t do what it was supposed to do.” “I’m not just gonna stop just because we can’t get a major label,” she tells him, and that scares him too because he’s not financially prepared to foot the bill for an indie artist.
Kimbella, desperate for a friend, desperate for someone to accept her, calls up Somaya. Of course. One black sheep to another. Somaya can relate, she explains that she’s been in the exact same situation as Kimbella, but Kimbella also wants to use Somaya to get to Emily. Kim is planning a girls’ night out and she wants to pay Emily back since she basically ruined her independence party.
She just needs Somaya to convince Emily to go. “This party sounds like a bit of a disaster but if this is the only thing that might get everybody on the same note, it could be a good thing,” Somaya says, and hey, she’s right, she’s still not quite on the same note as everybody anyway, so she might as well give it a whirl. When Somaya brings it up to Emily, she’s reluctant, but she gets accused of being a no-fun granny panty by Teairra Mari who’s back for another week, and Emily says “I’m going to this party ’cause I am not a granny panty! I can have fun. And I wear thongs, okay?”
Olivia gets a meeting with Wayne Williams at Sony Music, and even though it’s a big meeting, it’s frustrating for Olivia because Wayne tells her that “December” was not a hit.
That hurts Olivia to hear, but Wayne isn’t totally without interest, he asks her what else she’s working on, and she gives him an impromptu performance of a song called “Sinking Deep” that she’s been working on. Wayne hears potential, but he also sees a project, and Olivia is discouraged that he’s not wowed by the heart she’s put into this. “How many times do I have to go through this bullsh—?” she asks.
Olivia seeks out Yandy for a pep talk and words of comfort, since she’s a woman, a friend, and also in the music business, and Yandy’s advice is for Olivia to show people who she really is.
Sadly, Olivia has trouble opening up because her mom was not the best communicator either. Olivia explains that her mom would leave notes under Olivia’s door rather than actually speak to her. Yandy’s like, um, hello, this is what I’m talking about, show the world your vulnerable side!
“So many doors will open up because people will see you’re human.”
The show takes a quick hiatus from plot in order to bring us Jim’s new Chevy commercial.
And then we resume regular programming to see that Jim drove over to Nancy’s house to explain that he hates being in the middle of her rotten relationship with Chrissy, which is made even more rotten by the fact that she, a grown woman, a mom, released a diss track aimed at Chrissy.
This might be the most mature conversation ever to be had on this show, because Jim and his mother actually make headway. Mama Jones apologizes for the track and admits she’s worried that Jim’s love for Chrissy means less love he has to give her, which he thinks is ridiculous. But he tells her that he’s not the one who requires an apology “You apologizing to me is one thing, you apologizing to Chrissy and trying to get that whole situation together is another…Everybody that comes around you seems to love you so much, but you and her can’t get along. Tht s— baffles the s— out of me,” he tells her, crying. To her credit, she agrees to smooth things over and try to make things right with Chrissy.
She and Chrissy do meet up and again, maturity is the theme of the week because they meet, they laugh, they hug, it’s like a whole different show! Unfortunately for Mama Jones, she got Chrissy on her side a little too late…Chrissy notices that all the t-shirts and banners that Mama Jones has printed with the “Psychotic B—h” logo have been spelled wrong.
“Phsychotic” doesn’t roll off the tongue quite as well, and that’s what Mama’s got. Ten thousand misspelled shirts. Hey, people of Englewood, New Jersey, seen any phsychotic b—h shirts at your local Salvation Army?
“The hustle has gone awry,” Chrissy laughs, but it’s Mama Jones who laughs last when she explains that she has actually turned phsychotic into a word meaning “The mental feeling you get before you turn psychotic.” Voila. The hustle has returned.
The Jones family is treating Chrissy well this week, Jimmy’s standing up for her, Mama is apologizing, and Jimmy even takes her to a little rooftop retreat he set up for her to. Chrissy appreciates the attention she gets when he does stuff like this, and it all makes sense why she sticks with him after six engagement ring-less years, he can be adorable when he wants to be! But a ring is exactly what Chrissy was expecting. Ahem.
“The Moroccan dinner was cute but I was expecting something a little more,” she says.
“My love for Chrissy is unconditional. I don’t know how much more it can grow. I’m about to blow up it’s grown so much.” Gush.
At last the women convene for Kimbella’s little party, which is heavy on the sex toys and pole dancing. Emily’s a little embarrassed by the sexy stuff, but she appreciates the effort.
Then come the strippers.
But you know what? Thank GOD for that stripper, because who else was going to put out Kimbella’s hair when it gets set on fire? “Thunder put the thunder out in my hair,” Kimbella says.
But she’s also shocked that a little tea light cold do so much damage. “Are you guys serious? My hair is on fire. This is some bulls—,” she says, pulling clumps of charred hair from her head.
Teairra Mari, voice of reason, tells Kim “Good thing it was you real hair, if it was a weave it would have been like KABOOM.”
In the midst of the male strippers grinding on Somaya and the burning follicles, Chrissy enters. It’s the first time Kim and Chrissy have seen one another since their fight. Kimbella is determined to get an apology from Chrissy, but Chrissy’s sticking to her guns, she doesn’t think Kimbella deserves her apologies. “You didn’t set the stage for mutual respect. There was a better way to deliver that information,” Chrissy says. She seems set in her ways and as much as Kim wants to put it past them (heck, she’s even made progress with Emily since the beginning of this episode, so that’s big), Chrissy is not feeling it.
“When you violate somebody the way I violated her, there’s no moving forward,” Chrissy tells the girls, bewildered at Kimbella’s naivete toward their relations.
“There’s nothing else to talk about,” Chrissy ends things. Somehow, I doubt that.