God. Family. Hustle. In that order.
The first episode of T.I. And Tiny: The Family Hustle is a look at all the news, all the stories we’ve already heard about T.I. from the last three months, but instead of rehashing what we already know about Tip’s prison release and the delays and drama around it, it does something different: it tells the story from his wife Tiny‘s perspective. As anyone who has seen Mob Wives can attest, being the wife of a man who’s in prison is not easy. You need to hold down the family, the home, and do it all while awaiting the return of the man you love. In thirty minutes, we see just how Tiny does it, and just how much it pains T.I. to be away from that.”Being away and having memories being created without you there is some bulls—,” is how he puts it. I mean, how can you be away from this?
Speaking about his troubles with the law, and the probation violations that landed him in jail for a year, T.I. explains something he learned along the way: “You do not celebrate getting your head halfway out the lion’s mouth.” Being away from his family has made him realize that he needs to be on the straight and narrow from now on so he doesn’t end up fully back inside the lion’s mouth. A.k.a. the federal penitentiary system. “As long as I get it right, it never get wrong again,” he says.
It’s the day of T.I.’s release from prison, one month early, and Tameka hired a tour bus to make his trip to the halfway house more comfortable.
Less comfortable was the day Tameka visited Tip in prison, filed a hole in his pocket, and attempted to have sex with him. Some people bring a file into prison to try and bust out, Tameka brings a file in to have sex. Alas, they got caught.
Are there no conjugal visits at the prison he was in? I don’t know enough about the judicial system to know the rules on that sort of thing. Still, after eleven months of just one unsuccessful attempt at sex, these two might want to get their, um, family hustle on.
Unfortunately, what happens next (no family hustle, unfortunately) is pretty common knowledge at this point. Because Tameka picked up T.I. in a luxury bus, that proved to be a violation of his furlough and a probation violation, which means he lost his early release privileges and was sent back to jail for the final month of his sentence.
When his release finally comes, T.I. has the most law-abiding person he knows, his assistant Snake,
pick him up in the most legal and safe mode of transportation possible, a plain old SUV. No furlough violations, not even a moving violation. Snake is a man whose mission is to bey every traffic law to get T.I. home to surprise Tameka, because she thinks he’s getting back some time the following day. So he starts to sneak into his own home.
But since she’s not expecting him, what better way to spend the evening than to have some drinks with friends?
And you gotta love the huge portrait of a pregnant Tiny in the background.
How about that from another angle?
“My first emotion when I saw Tip was…love,” Tiny says when she sees her man walk through the door. T.I.’s reaction is a little different. “One thing I noticed upon entering my home is that nothing was it was nothing like I left it. What the f— is going on in here, people?”
“I don’t want smell-goods of a fruity nature on my side of the sink,” Tip says about all of Tameka’s various lady products that have overtaken their bathroom. The his and hers sinks have officially been conquered and have become all hers.
And whatever Tiny hasn’t taken over, their kids have. Like the bed. Try as they might, these two just can’t get any alone time.
“okay now, family time is over. It’s time for me and daddy to have some time alone,” sayeth the Queen of the South, so the kids leave her and her and the King alone
(hey, get that remote control outta there)
and after a bath, maybe they can finally get that family hustle on.