Baseball Wives – Episode 5 – Uninvited


This episode of Baseball Wives includes elements that we’ve come to know and love from these women: improv class, parties where someone was left out, some kind of group modeling scenario, and someone hate-baking something for someone else. Also, Tanya’s butt.

Let’s start with the party where not everyone was invited. Last week when Anna wasn’t invited to Cherie‘s birthday party, she sent over a vengeful possum cake to remind the group that she would still be lurking there in spirit. And this week when Erika invites everyone over for a cooking class, she excludes Anna and her protege, Jordana.

Over at the Ha Ha Hut, Erika, Jordana and Brooke are taking more improv classes, and in a scene between Jordana and Erika, they have to heighten their anger emotions at each other. The scene spills over into real life when Jordana tells Erika she was mad she didn’t get an invite to the cooking class, and Erika tries to be delicate about why Jordana wasn’t invited, but basically ends up telling her that she wasn’t classy enough to be there and that she’s an embarrassment. This all happens wile the class is on a quick break and half their improv group looks on so…awkward. “I feel small and rejected,” Jordana says in her confessional. Oh, and just in keeping with the theme of things that keep happening on this show, Jordana walks out.

We’ve seen the ladies model for a pinup calendar, and this week they’re taking to the runway, but there’s a problem because while most of these women aren’t professional catwalkers, Brooke is. And she’s being bossy about it. This is one of the new developments of the show this week, everyone turning against Brooke.

When the ladies go for a drink to Dollhouse, Brooke can sense that she’s being talked about and that Tanya and Maggie are laughing behind her back, and when Brooke confronts them, Maggie is like “It’s not always about you, Brooke!” in a way that kind of confirms that it was about Brooke. Tanya and Brooke finally have it out when they meet up without Maggie and Tanya tells Brooke that yeah, they were talking about her because they think Brooke acts like she’s better than everyone else and she’s queen bee and top model. “I model for a living, this is how I make my money, I don’t have money from an ex-husband,” Brooke digs back at her. And all of a sudden this is where we learn that sweet, demure Brooke has the mouth of a truck driver. It’s kind of exciting!

I mentioned last week that Jordana couldn’t keep up her job as a cocktail waitress if she keeps socializing and getting into fights while at work, and this week, my Kreskin crystals prove that I’m totally psychic because her boss is totally over her lack of working while at work. He sits her down and tells her that he has to fire her because she spends too much time with her friends – an entirely reasonable thing to get fired for, I think, and Jordana has a s— -fit and leaves. Again.

But in better news, Cherie and Anna have a drunken conversation at the bar where Cherie asks Anna one last time for an apology so they can put the past behind them, and Anna drunkenly, sarcastically says she’s sorry and that’s good enough for Cherie. “I’m not saying that we’re getting along or that we’ve made up, but I will tolerate her when I have to,” Cherie says. Aww. They even hug, which is weird.

But of course Chantel has to go muck it up when she suggests they all go on a vacation together. Everyone. The whole gang. “I need this vacation to just be chill,” she says, proving that she has never seen the vacation episodes from previous Wives shows. They are anything but chill. Cherie is skeptical if the chillness too and thinks putting a bunch of “bitchy women” on an island together is a terrible idea. When they tell the group they have planned a trip to Turks And Caicos, Erika can’t really even muster excitement, she describes it as being “trapped on an island.” So, yeah. Maybe everyone should just take a staycation at home? You can also tell that Brooke isn’t excited in the least about this trip.

But the person who’s least excited of all? That would have to be Anna. Because she’s not invited.

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