So Erica’s only got this one move, huh?
Before we get into Erica though, let’s start at the very beginning.
Hurricane Chrissy has blown over, and like Hurricane Irene, those of us on the East Coast were fortunate that she didn’t do as much damage as she probably could have. Yandy, after making her backdoor exit out of the club, didn’t get a chance to see any of the other girls after her fight with Chrissy, so she’s meeting up with Olivia and Emily in the city to figure out what went down.
Emily‘s loyalty lies fully with Chrissy, and she sees the negative, instigating forces that Chrissy does within Yandy. Like Chrissy, she doesn’t ike that Yandy’s all about the checks, and she takes offense to Yandy’s comment that she bought a table at the club and insinuated that Chrissy didn’t have that kind of money. With Yandy, Emily says, “When the money’s gone, it’s just BS left.” Olivia see things a little differently and is trying to give both sides a fair shake. She tells Yandy “I already told Chrissy you aren’t the problem, she has the problem with you.”
Yandy asks Emily for help reaching out to Chrissy and wants her to broker a peace agreement, and Emily’s response is a simple “Ask Olivia. She’s both of y’all’s friend.” Because she’s learned her lesson and is NOT getting involved. It’s refreshing when someone on reality TV has learned their lesson, isn’t it?
Yandy may not have Emily on her side, but she goes to visit her mentor, Mona Scott Young (hey, it’s coincidental that Mona Scott Young is also a television producer who works on a show called Love And Hip Hop!) I kid, but Mona is easily the loudest, clearest voice of reason this show has seen since ole Uncle Ralph visited Jim to tell him about relationships. Among folks in the industry who know Jim and Yandy, rumors have been flying over how Yandy quit her job, and she clears some of them up. At one point in her resignation email, she mentions Jim’s money funding Chrissy’s bag and shoe habit, among other things, and Yandy admits that yeah, she may have crossed the line when she took a couple of digs like that because she was emotional. “That emotional s— has no business in your business,” Mona tells Yandy.
Erica, on the other hand, hasn’t learned any lessons in her brief time on the show, and she just keeps on digging in at Kimbella. During an interview with Vibe, she’s asked about the fight she had with Kim, and tells us that Kim’s been talking some smack.
“One thing you don’t do with me,” Erica warns, “is pick a battle, ’cause I will always win.” The interviewer, Stareene Rhett, asks what Erica said to Kim to set her off and Erica tells her “I think I mentioned that she was a joke and even her man laughs at her, probably with the next bitch.” She basically laughs this off, as if to say “Can you believe she got so bent out of shape over that??” In the same breath, Erica accuses Kimbella of sleeping around and says “I wouldn’t even call what she does ‘modeling.'”
“You don’t think you guys have a littttle something in common?” Stareene asks her, which is hilarious because it’s clear she’s thinking what we’re all thinking “Don’t you both define the term ‘modeling’ loosely?”
Over at Olivia’s career. Rich explains that she’s got a deal worth somewhere around $1.5 million and “If Liv takes this deal, we could be on our way. If she doesn’t take this deal, it could be the end of her.” But Olivia isn’t sure she wants to “sign her life way” for another deal where she loses creative control of her music, so she tells Rich she’s got to sleep on it before she makes a decision.
Rich isn’t thrilled by that. But you know what? He’s not the first person she’s going to disappoint tonight! Because she’s got a lunch date with Emily and Chrissy and Emily becomes uncharacteristically feisty and informative, telling Chrissy that Olivia told Yandy to stop being the bigger person in their argument, and just walk away instead of persistently apologizing.
Olivia feels caught in the middle because she’s friends with both women, but Chrissy tells her “You know what happens to people who play the middle?…I don’t need no weak people around me and I don’t need no sucker-ass people around me.” “Well I ain’t neither of those,” Olivia promises her.
Kimbella is still focused on her home life and making things right with her family, so she meets with her brother Kenneth to talk about the talk she had with their mother last week. That’s a lot of talk.
Kim explains that she told their mom that she didn’t want to end up like her (yes, we already witnessed it, but still, ouch), and then she says that she worries because it’s not like she and Juelz don’t have their scrapes every so often. She wishes she had a husband at home, but she’s not ready for that with him and she wants to continue to get to know him. At what point are you like, sure, I’ll have your kid and also live with you and also throw glasses at people who doubt our relationship…buuuut I am not ready to commit? I guess I’m just old-fashioned.
Yandy and Olivia meet to..do what now? Oh, right, talk about Chrissy some more. Olivia is still trying to play nice with both of them, but she calls Yandy out for “throwing darts” and instigating some of their problems. Yandy makes matters worse when Olivia calls Chrissy Jim’s wife, and Yandy responds “First of all, she’s his girl. They were engaged when she proposed, and now they’re installed, because he gave her an installment plan.” Chrissy is not going to like that. Chrissy is also not going to like Yandy’s comparison of her to Hitler. OY.
“It is so not messy between me and Nancy,” Yandy says as she and Jim’s mom get questionable massage treatments together at the spa. Their relationship is so much more comfortable than getting beaten with reeds.
When the beatings finally subside, Yandy confides in Mama Jones that she doesn’t want to lose her, even if she’s stopped working with Jim. She depends on Nancy for advice and being her second mom. It’s nice, but will it create a problem for Jim and Chrissy? I mean, who really knows, but probably yes.
This episode marks the LONG-AWAITED RETURN of Somaya Reece, finally! Somaya meets up with Kimbella at the fancy, expensive chocolate shop (is this the only kind of establishment this cast is allowed to film in now? One that’s too classy for them to throw hands/glasses in?) and Somaya wonders why Kimbella and Erica are blowing up her Google Alerts. What do we think Somaya’s Google Alerts are set for? “Love And Hip Hop” or “Insane Video Girl Fights”? Kim tells Somaya that Erica has continued to talk smack about her and that means the next time they see one another, it’s on. Again.
Emily is hanging out with Fab’s former assistant, Winter, and Winter is a straight-shooter who asks why Emily moved out and moved on from Fab.
Emily acts coy when Winter tells her she’s playing games with him and Winter says outright “You did all of this to get a reaction.” That’s not untrue. “I do know that I need a change. And I got it,” Emily tells her. “I needed him to realize what he’s done over the years and how it affected me…I want to be number one and the only one.”
Winter is pushing her hard though to go back to Fab, who is apparently begging Emily to come back to him. Winter thinks that to move on from a nine-year relationship would be a waste and tells Emily “I say ride it out.” Emily wants to so much, but you can tell she’s learned from past mistakes and isn’t quite sure what to do.
And finally, it all comes back to Erica and Kimbella. It’s Erica’s birthday and she and her girls, ahem, just want to have fun. So we get several shots of Erica doing her one move:
This girl has been in like three episodes and we’ve seen her pull this boob move in like, every single one. Keep it up and I can probably turn it into a calendar. Unless she already has one?
So Erica is having a grand ole time at her party, dancing, drinking straight Grey Goose, showing off her goods, when Kimbella shows up. As much as I know this is going to turn into a disaster, I have to appreciate that Kimbella has the balls to ruin Erica’s birthday just to address this issue.
Kimbella asks why Erica apologized to her and then went around and did a scathing interview full of lies, and Erica creates a beautiful semantic black hole, telling Kimbella she was only ever sorry “for the fact that you thought I judged you.” Not for saying all those judgey things.
“You’re a crack bitch and I’m not,” Kim tells her, and Erica takes a swing. A bunch of guests (including Somaya) intervene to keep them apart, but Kimbella didn’t come to fight, she clearly just wanted to ruffle feathers.
Erica continues to not make friends when she remarks about Somaya remarking that “It’s so funny because she brought a Sumo wrestler to back her up and yet the Sumo wrestler was the first one walking out the door.” Ew. Look, I know not everyone who watches this show is on Team Somaya, but that was just an unwarranted, ridiculous dig for no reason. Just because she didn’t want to pummel you, you have to insult her? Erica has stripped me of all objectivity, I can’t handle her anymore! (So since I’m not being objective, I’ll admit that I’m totally on Team Somaya and I’m glad she’s back this week!)
“It’s not over, you know that, right?” Kim asks Somaya. Yeah, we know.