Happy Halloween! What tricks and treats are in store? Let’s discuss…
Ramona has dinner with her friend Lina who’s there to assist us with the Ramona backstory. We find out that Lina and Ramona worked together with Ramona’s ex-husband, and Lina was there for their budding romance. Sadly, when Ramona fell in love with him, she was disowned by her father because her new man wasn’t FBI (full-blooded Italian), but Ramona wanted to do whatever she could to marry out of the lifestyle. Unfortunately, she got divorced because her ex was very much in business with the mob. Now that she’s back in New York, she’s got the mob double whammy, now that her boyfriend has also been arrested and sits in jail. “Sometimes in life, you can’t run from your destiny,” she says, realizing that no matter how much she wants to separate herself from the life, she’s tied to it.
Over on the back nine, Carla and Karen are having a girls bonding day. Renee set it up and was supposed to be there, but she didn’t show, leaving the two of them to golf horribly together and work on their friendship.
It actually seems like a good time between the two of them, but of course, something has to create drama, so when Carla mentions Halloween and the fact that she’s going as Cher, Karen is like “Oh, you should come to Ramona’s Halloween party,” but the problem is that Carla’s already going to Drita‘s Halloween party.
“I’m not shocked that Drita is having a Halloween party the same night as me because Drita is a monkey. Monkey see, monkey do,” Ramona says as she and Karen go pick out their costumes. Ramona plans to go as a devil because hey, she’s already Lucifer to some of these girls, and Karen is planning to be a cleavage-loving nurse.
Renee and Junior’s relationship is still struggling ever since they had their marriage counseling session where they brought up some past issues (Junior’s cheating, his comments about Renee’s weight). Renee apologizes for bringing those things up, but Junior says he’s still turned off by the fact that she put that stuff out there. Hey, Junior: That’s what therapy is for! For putting stuff out there! “I said I was f—ing sorry,” Renee says, and the most he can muster is “You’re hurtin’ my f–in’ eardrums.”
Uuuurgh, this guy! So of course, he walks away. But later that day, he and Renee are able to have an actual, adult conversation about their relationship and they realize that maybe therapy is their problem—bringing up so many old, weighty subjects is just causing resentment. That doesn’t mean they aren’t going to work on their issues, but they aren’t going to dwell on the really old issues either.
“I knew that Junior and I would somehow end up back together,” she says. “It does feel really great having him next to me and with me and I’m in love with him, I always have been, and I guess he’s in love with me as well. SORRY, GIRLS!”
Ramona and Karen have done their Halloween shopping, so it’s only appropriate that Drita, Carla, and Big Ang get their costumes too. Carla tries on a fabulous Cher wig, and she keeps saying that she wants to be Cher circa “If I Could Turn Back Time” but I don’t know if she means that because that was one hell of an outfit Cher wore on that there aircraft carrier. Ahem:
Meanwhile, in the back of Drita’s mind she’s thinking how weird it is that Carla has been hanging out with Karen and Ramona and hoping it doesn’t take a toll on their friendship. These women have been married to criminals and stuck with them through years of prison, I’m pretty sure they can compartmentalize this sort of thing.
They try on several wigs which then leads to an amazing moment where Drita puts together her best Big Ang look, and Big Ang tries to look like Drita.
(Check out a more extensive gallery of the ladies and their wigs over here.)
Renee, Carla, and Karen meet up and Carla casually tosses out that she’s debating whether or not to go to Ramona’s Halloween party. Well. Renee didn’t receive her invitation yet and she flips out. Like, I thought she was fake mad because she was so over the top, until I realized she was actually mad and on the verge of tears, talking about loyalty and all that. Karen is like “But of course you’re invited,” and Renee pulls the old “Well that’s nice, but I’m not even planning to go” business. She does start to cry when Karen tells her she’s concerned that Renee is a little too focused on Junior and she’s really fragile right now, and she’s probably going to break when he does go back to jail.
Renee admits she’s depressed, for so many reasons. Not only is she struggling to make things work with Junior, she’s also nervous because the guy who drives her father just got pinched by the Feds, so that could mean her father is in danger, too. She can never have a single moment with her entire family all together and she’s starting to grow weary.
If you could find five words that best describe Big Ang, perhaps they would be “red wine and cream soda,” her drink of choice to serve when her son AJ shows up for dinner.
RED WINE AND CREAM SODA! Highbrow, meet lowbrow. Delicious, meet a whole other kind of delicious. Who knew this was even a thing??
Big Ang is sadly not going to be attending any of the Halloween parties the girls are throwing because she has to work at her bar — boooo! She laments that if only she found a wealthy guy to take care of her, she wouldn’t have to work again. I guess that’s why she desperately wants a wise guy. AJ tells her that what she should do is invest in the pizzeria he works at so they can open up a branch in Boca. Big Ang In Boca? Please Lord, hear my prayers for a spinoff. She even gets a little starry-eyed at the thought of Florida.
At Drita’s party, she’s dressed as a sexy stewardess in hot pink,
but even better, Renee and Junior show up dressed in full-on correctional facility garb. You have to admit, that’s pretty hilarious.
But when Carla walks in, Renee’s reaction is the BEST.
“What people don’t know about Carla is the ice princess can sing!” Renee says about her friend who is dressed in full Cher (although, as I thought, she didn’t go all out with strategically placed leather strips like Cher). (We have a gallery of all the ladies plus a few more VH1 stars on Halloween right here, by the way.)
To be fair though, Carla did go for a sheer-front, cleavage-baring top that i think Cher would approve of.
Renee is having a great time and seems far from depressed on this night, but she also stresses that she really hates having her friends split into two camps. Two Halloweens, two Christmases, it’s like Kramer Vs. Kramer on Staten Island. She feels two-faced though, especially when Junior butts in and is like “Hey, when are we going to Ramona’s party?” right in front of Drita. Oops.
Renee and Junior head into the city for Ramona’s party where Karen’s been working her naughty nurse thing with some random dude that she’s trying to figure out.
But then it seems like they should have just stayed at Drita’s party, because this guy says something shady about Junior knowing a cop he knows, and that changes the mood. All of a sudden, Renee detects a shift in him.
Whatever it is, it’s bad enough that they leave before Junior can get himself sent to jail ahead of schedule. I have a feeling this is where the true-life Junior saga is about to get real.