You thought Shenanigans was out of your life forever, but you were so wrong. Last week we left off with Renee and the girls throwing an unruly patron out of the Poconos bar aptly named Shenanigans, and Renee stormed off, calling Junior to pick her up and get her the hell out of Pennsylvania. Which is weird because he would have to drive over two hours to come get her, but as Karen points out, there’s no changing her mind, so they all might as well stay in the bar and have fun. This leads to a bonding session between Ramona, Karen, and Carla, which none of them really would have imagined happening, but Carla keeps proving that she’s not into the drama and she’s not picking teams, and Ramona and Karen totally respect that.
Also, Karen apparently sang karaoke and we don’t get footage of her actual singing??? Boo!
Okay, so now it’s more clear why Big Ang didn’t go to the Poconos, she was having a biopsy on her thyroid, and she’s feeling terrible. But when Drita comes over to take care of her, Big Ang is still her same old self, and she is hilarious. And I don’t want this to come out the wrong way, but somehow, her expressions are even more hilarious when she’s wearing that neck brace. I mean!
It turns out that Renee didn’t leave the Poconos after all, and she’s still at the cabin the next morning, so she and Karen try to hash out what happened at Shenanigans. In hindsight, Renee is really happy that Junior was two hours away, because if he had come to pick her up, Mr. Potty-Mouth-Mother-Disrespector would have endured a fate worse than he got. She’s still riled up though, so there’s no better way to get out that aggression than shooting some guns. Some big guns.
Renee says all she has to do is visualize who her target is and she’ll hit her mark, but after her turn, Karen finally says it: “She wasn’t a good shot at all.”
When they get back home, all Renee wants to do is spend some quality time with her family, so she has dinner with Junior, AJ, and AJ’s girlfriend Sydney. “I’m 42 and I’m not ready to be a grandmother,” Renee says when she brings up the fact that she needs to have “THE TALK” with AJ. So she sits him down and before she can say anything, he tells her he’s not interested in this conversation.
He’s sooo not interested. Still, her speech is a thing of beauty.
“We don’t need to have a conversation like this,” AJ tells her, nay, begs her. And then she adorably chases him around the house after he refuses to listen to anything she says.
Drita and Carla go bowling because after the high-tension Poconos trip, Drita needs to be briefed on what went on. So Carla tells her about the night that Renee confronted Ramona about whatever comments she may have made about Junior, and explains that it all got turned around on Drita and now Renee is holding her responsible because Ramona called Drita a liar. “Karen is always telling me and Ramona, you know, Drita molds my mind, I feel like they do that to Renee, if anything,” Carla says of the situation. She thinks that Drita is telling the truth, and doesn’t like how things have gotten twisted. And of course, neither does Drita. “I;m going to tell you something about Ramona Rizzo, this is what people grew up knowing about her: She had her nose in the air ’cause she thought she was better than everybody else. Now, Ramona’s a f—ing fighter. Who the f— are you, dude? ‘Cause that’s not how you were. You were a rich, spoiled b—h.”
Over at Big Ang’s house, she’s brought in someone to give spray tans. For this, she needs to disrobe.
The timing is perfect because Drita is about to model for her cousin’s swimwear line so she needs a nice golden glow. Big Ang is feeling the competition though.
Big Ang a douchebag? NEVER? However, when she strips down to her bikini, I admit that I can’t look away.
Drita says what we’re all thinking. “DAMN, girl.”
But of course, there’s another “Damn, girl!” moment when Drita actually dons the swimwear her cousin designed and has her photo shoot. Even though she says the last time she seriously modeled anything was six years ago, she hasn’t lost her touch.
And, sorry, if I had a butt like this, I would want people to see it.
Unfortunately, that ass is on the line when Renee visits Ramona and tells her that she wants to clear the air with all this “Who said what about Junior” business. Drita sent Renee an email claiming that Ramona was lying, but Ramona’s not having it.
“She went out to hurt you, to embarrass you, she went to go destroy our friendship, our sisterhood, and our familyhood. Because she’s an outsider,” Ramona says.
“Jesus Christ better come down now, ’cause there’s nothing that can save her!” Renee yells after shaking and trying to cope with the situation despite her obvious fragility at the moment, so she just breathes, but the moment of calm doesn’t last.
“Ramona can wind me up or calm me down, but right now, I’m on fire,” Renee says. Which begs the question, is she letting her mind get molded, as Carla suggested? But oddly enough, Renee doesn’t breathe fire for Drita, right now she’s pissed at Carla for not appearing to remain neutral. God, I’m so confused.
But nothing can dampen Carla’s mood at the moment because her ex-husband Joe is leaving the halfway house today, and that means he has fully served out his time in prison and can now assimilate back into society. It also means we can finally meet Joe. Until now, he’s just been a voice on the other end of a secure line filtered through a prison operator. Now, he’s a real live human man, whose family is so excited to have him home. Two things: Joe is cute, huh? And also, JOE IS RIPPED, HUH?
Prison’ll do that to you, I guess. The entire family is glowing as they eat together, and man, do we want them to get back together, but Carla is leaving her options open. “He could be married to someone else. I could be married to someone else. We could be together. Who knows?” she says. This is some serious happy family sitcom s— right here.
And special guest star, Big Ang: