Dr. Jenn Talks Couples Therapy Episode 3 – Kasey’s Breakthrough

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Dr. Jenn Berman has been counseling people and offering advice to people in need for some twenty years now, but on VH1′s Couples Therapy, this marks her first time working with a group of ten celebrities whose relationships are in desperate need of repair. We’ll be checking in with Dr. Jenn each week to chat about the progress of her patients on the show, and what she really thinks of their behavior. This week on the show, Dr. Jenn was moved by Kasey Kahl‘s breakthrough at the end of the show, and talks about the genuine support the cast showed one another.

This week, you were genuinely moved by your session with Kasey.

This was my big session with him, that was very meaningful for both of us. There were some things that Kasey had been carrying around from his childhood that were really affecting how he felt about himself, how he saw himself and how he related in all his relationships. He didn’t realize how much this experience he had had affected him until we started talking about it. It was very emotional for me because it was such a painful experience that he described that it touched me to the core to hear he had such a horrible, painful experience and was carrying it around for so long. It pained me.

Will we see Kasey confront either his mother or this boyfriend eventually on the show?

What I can tell you is that many of the people within the couples have the opportunity to do therapy with a person who has harmed them, or that they have unresolved issues with, and Kasey is one of them.

What was your take when you saw Vienna relating Kasey‘s experience back to herself, and she was saying that she didn’t get anything out of the session because it wasn’t focused on her?

I have a few thoughts about it. First, Vienna is very new to therapy and couples therapy, and a lot of the time, people who haven’t had a lot of therapy think that in each session, each person is supposed to have a big breakthrough, but sometimes part of getting good couples therapy is what we call being an empathic witness. And that was really what her job was in that situation and I don’t think she realized it at the time. What she also didn’t realize was that when one person in a couple has a breakthrough, it affects everyone in the couple, when one person moved to a better place, it shifts the whole relationship.

Do you think she just didn’t realize that?

Yes, she wasn’t thinking that way, which is understandable, but also, she talked about how she has trouble feeling empathy, and that’s something that really goes back to her childhood and we’ll explain that later on.

She and Kasey also had an issue where she was receiving texts from another man she was seeing, what’s your general rule regarding phones in the house?

The couples had their phones taken away from them but they were allowed to have access to them from 5 p.m. to 7 p.m. so that they could tend to business or connect with whoever they needed to connect with. It was limited cell phone time.

Linda had a big problem with Charlie’s Facebook use this week, do you think she handled the situation appropriately and did it all stem from jealousy?

It definitely stemmed from jealousy and I think it’s important when you have a conflict with your partner that you talk about it together. Even if it’s not necessarily warranted, it appeared that there was nothing suspicious going on and Carlie wasn’t really trying to hide anything from her, but one of the themes of the show is how our past affects our present relationships, and Linda went through a very public experience where she was allegedly cheated on and it very much affects her ability to trust men and to trust Charlie.

She got great advice from Reichen and Rodiney, why do you think they were able to offer her such good advice?

I think they are two really compassionate, insightful guys who have a lot of experience themselves with issues of jealousy and were able to share their own experience and wisdom. I think it’s so beautiful when the couples in the house actually get to help each other. It’s one of the wonderful benefits of in-patient work and of group work.

DMX really resisted his group session this week, and yet he let Tashera convince him to stay, which is surprising.

I think the bottom line was that I knew DMX had it in him to do this work. I knew it would be beneficial to him and I knew that Tashera not only needed to do this work, but she wanted to do it and that they would benefit from it. When I found out later what their conversation was, I was thrilled that he was willing to participate and I think you’ll see that this episode marks a turning point for him with regard to his resistance. It’s a slow shift, but he started to open himself up to the process and it benefited their family tremendously.

  1. Nichea says:

    I hope that by now, kasey has left his girlfriend. How can someone say that they love you and not be concerned and happy that you finally have been able to speak about something so painful in your childhood. Believe who she is showing you she is now, she is selfish and only cares about herself. she wants all of the attention no matter how much you may have needed it at that moment. she could never have a child, because she can no longer be in the spotlight.
    how can the relationship a lie? she obviously doesn’t know what a lie is in a relationship.
    DONT WASTE YOUR TIME, SHE IS SELF CENTERED AND ALL ABOUT HER. SHE WILL NOT BE A SUPPORTIVE WIFE.

  2. ali says:

    Dr. Jenn gives the worst advice!!! She’s totally warped!!! Dr. Jenn fame has gotten to your head! Your don’t give any advice that’s worth giving!! Your mouth just shoots out this unnecessary information.Are you reading of cue-cards? I’ve been in the field myself for a long time and I’m disgusted by everything you say! Did you forget where you came from? Your a therapist act like one. I’m ashamed to even call myself a therapist after watching you.

  3. ugh says:

    I agree with you Nichea – Vienna is horrifically self-centered. This show was filmed a few months ago and they did break up – thank god for Kasey. He seems like a nice guy and deserves better. I wouldn’t wish Vienna on anyone, except maybe that jerkoff Jake Pavelka.

  4. Laney says:

    VIENNA YOU’RE A HORRIBLE PERSON!!!!!!

  5. vIv says:

    Vienna revealed her true colors tonight. What a selfish, spoiled, self-centered little girl…

  6. beverly says:

    I think Vienna is very selffish and does not care about nothing but herself. The sooner she realizes that the world does not revolve around her maybe she will be able to have a healthy relationship. She is so caught up in herself and that she should have all the attention or she acts like a immature child. GROW UP Already. You are lucky that he loves you the way he does.If I were Casey I would leave her and after this show she would be lucky to attract a homeless man. My God I am embarassed for her.

  7. yeah right says:

    Hell Jake Pavelka was too good for her. He saw her true colors and got smart quick and left her self centered ass. and she is not all that she thinks she is. Take a good look in the mirror Vieanna and be thankful casey ever wants to be with you. Enjoy your lonely life sweetie because that is exacally where you are going to be if you keep thnking like you do.ALONE AND OLDDDDDDDDDDDD.

  8. Beth Johnson says:

    Hey! I just watched eps 3. I can relate to both sides of Kasey and Vienna’s relationship. I myself was in an abusive relationship with my ex husband(Who was murdered a year after or seperation). I know he had some issues going on but it wasn’t until therapy that he opened up. A part of me felt like I wasn’t good enough to open up to. Like it was my fault he never told me about his past. Vienna he wasn’t ready to see it until he was in therapy. Sometimes things take longer than others. Love him, be proud of him, cheer him on, don’t be afraid to give him that spot light because i think he would be happy to share it with you. What i noticed on the episode is that he was very comfortable enough to share that horrible past with you there! That shows me that he cares more than you think! I see why the sessions were about him at first, i believe that was done because he had to get past his personal issue before he could work further on the issues as a couple. Kasey I’m so happy you have been able to see your past and gain freedom from it. Be patient with her reactions when something triggers her and please remember that she too has things to learn and get past. she will forever remember things you wont. so allow her to work on the way she reacts or doesn’t react. I surely hope you too can get past all of this and become stronger both as individuals and as a couple. Thank you for being willing to do this, this has helped refresh my memory and let go of anger.

  9. mimi64 says:

    come onnnnnnnnn……reallyyyyy…kasey…hunny…you need to leave Vienna!! why would you stay with a girl whos not even committed to you?? shes got a guy on the side “just in case” the 2 of you dont “work out” through couples therapy…its SOOOOO pathetic!! and the so called dr. who is condoning viennas behavior?? come onnnn…its ridiculous and just plane sad if you think you cannot do better than Vienna…theres someone out there for you…and she will be solely committed to YOU!! I’ve been married 30yrs….its soooo sad to even watch!!

  10. melissa says:

    vienna is unfreakingbelievable! what is the matter with that girl??? very selfish, to say that to him after that session! Craziness! He should move on, she will never support him!

  11. melissa says:

    I love when she says “you just dont get it” lmao I want to reach into the tv and smack that girl! she doesnt get it! she is selfish and bratty!

  12. HGM says:

    Good for you Kasey. Glad you got to realize you are a good guy. That girl though is selfish leave that mess alone. Move on bro

  13. Tonya says:

    The episode where DMX opened up about his childhood was very touching.My heart went out to him and it was touching to see how much his wife felt for his pain despite how much pain he has caused her.DMX has an image as a tough, rough character and no doubt he has lived up to that image. So I think it took a lot of courage to open up like he did. To Tashera: People may say that you’re “crazy” to want to be with someone who has cheated on you over and over again. But just because you have a big heart, that does not make you “crazy.” It’s the person who can’t recognize love, receive that love and express love who has the problem.