Master Matchmaker Steve Ward is back for another season of Tough Love, and each week, he’ll be giving us an exclusive look at what went down behind the scenes on the series. This week, we talked to Steve about the importance of being honest in an online profile, and how Donna’s emotions were out of hand on the hot seat.
Some of the women really didn’t have a sense of self-awareness during the online dating exercise, what did you think of how they did?
At Master Matchmakers, we have our own private dating service called out LoveLab, so we have a lot of experience with online dating, but what makes our service different is that everyone’s been interviewed and background checked and vetted. But if you look it up, there are statistics that say that eighty percent of people who do online dating lie about age, height, or weight when people are just using traditional dating sites. So you have to expect there to be a level of fabrication and a level of misrepresentation. But at the same time, there is such a thing as going too far, and I think some of the women neglected to mention some information that’s pertinent, like Tiffany, who neglected to mention she has kids. It’s important. But then you have Shalana who mentions in one breath that she’s never had a meaningful relationship and in another that she’s a single mom. That’s only going to leave men wondering. You need to be mindful about what someone’s going to insinuate after they read your profile.
How would you suggest Shalana explain her situation, because it’s true that it will raise eyebrows if you say you’re a single mom but you don’t consider the father meaningful. How can you work around that?
Sex is a relationship of some kind, whether you like to admit it or not. It’s just not always a committed relationship or a long-term relationship. But nonetheless, it’s a relationship. But I would say that if you’re going to mention that you have a child, don’t write in your profile that you’ve never had a meaningful relationship. When it comes up in conversation with someone you just met, and that conversation shouldn’t be had until the appropriate time, but you should be able to explain that you weren’t in a serious relationship with the father of your child. You guys weren’t careful, sh*t happens, and you have a beautiful child as a result of it…but that’s the kind of conversation you have at the appropriate time. But there’s no sense in getting into it prematurely.
Did you think any of the women caught on to the fact that the stuff around their date’s apartments was planted?
I think Despina knew and Stephanie seemed to be pretty aware of it as well, but for the most part, they all bought it. Especially when you have Tiffany going through the guy’s phone and computer and Shalana going through his iPad and his photos.
Were you surprised that Stephanie was the only one that bothered to say something?
Yeah, I was. But what I wasn’t surprised by was that they all jumped to their own conclusions and no one said anything. Pretty interesting. You can tell these people need help.
Do you think once they found out it was all a trick they were relieved, or did the conclusions they jumped to set in and it was too late?
I think it’s going to make them more mindful of what they’re doing when they’re doing it, so in the future they’ll remember that situation and maybe the next time they’re at a guy’s place they’ll think you know what? Maybe I shouldn’t go through his stuff.
What bothered me more than anything about that was the sheer emotional instability. When she was like “I was about to cry,” really? You were going to cry? What was so traumatic about it? I’m stuck between a rock and a hard spot because how am I supposed to pick on these girls while they’re crying? After a certain point, I lose it. These girls are crying, and they blame it on either the alcohol, hormones, or that he’s not the right guy for me. I tell them you have to go through the motions, you can’t just shut down, you have to do what I’m asking you to do. But I got sick and tired of Donna using her emotions as a way to get me to back off. I was like, I’m not going to let you cry your way out of this, and that’s what Donna was doing, it was ticking me off.
Did you talk to her date, Butler, to get his impression of her? Was he aware that she wasn’t interested?
No. She did a pretty good job of fooling him.
How did the rest of the men view this challenge? Did you get their feedback?
What was really interesting, Despina’s date wouldn’t even answer my phone calls, he was ignoring my calls to come and get the food because he was so into her. And then you had Stephon, Elizabeth’s date, and he couldn’t care less either, he just wanted to chat it up with her and had no interest in anything else. They forgot the fact that it wasn’t their place, they got into it and didn’t care.