Mob Wives – Episode 15 – Crack Her Jaw

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The last time we saw Renee, she was heading in to her father’s hearing, and this week, we pick up at the courthouse. You could say it didn’t go well. Inside the courtroom, old friends and family who have turned on Renee filled the gallery and refused to speak to her, all because of what Junior did, but that didn’t matter so much because the one person who showed her forgiveness was her father.
Though they haven’t spoken for ages and he’s showing signs of frailty, he made loving gesture to her and that’s all Renee needed. “To see him look at me with nothing but love, I felt welcome in spite of the way everybody else felt,” she says.

Big Ang, still hell bent on getting more stuff done to her face and body, heads to the dermatologist for a little Botox. “I need to look YOUNGER!” she declares.

“I need to get the Botox all around my forehead, need to get some around the eyes, need to do a little something with these cheeks, matter of fact, give it to me everywhere,” she says. Botox is a new thing to Ang, and look, she says with all these needles and everything, “It ain’t no joke!”

No, no joke. Laughing is not the first thing I do when I see needles in faces.
After all is said and done, Ang is definitely a convert. “Botox is definitely worth it. LOVE IT!!” Later, she gets hair extensions and her friend Christina helps out and I realize that all I need to be entertained are these two. Big Ang telling her stories, and Christina the hair extensionist chewing her gum and concurring with everything Ang says. It’s amazing.

Things at Drita‘s are always interesting. She and the girls finally get the new dog she promised, but they didn’t call it Sparkles or Lady, instead they settled on Lucky Santangelo, as in the heroine from the Jackie Collins novels, as in the woman who goes by the nickname “Lady Boss.” Oh Drita, you’re making so much sense now.

As she and Lucky are canoodling (ca-poodling?) on the porch, Lee calls her from prison to tell her he’s done serving his state time upstate, and has one year left on his sentence which he’ll get to serve out in Brooklyn, just a few miles from their house. Drita’s shocked but happy that the girls will get to be so close to their dad.

“Being in Brooklyn is convenient for the kids to see him,” Drita says, “but I don’t know how I feel about it.” Drita is psyched, on the other hand, for her new music video which she’s starring in along with Bad Boy rapper French Montana. The concept of the video is that Drita will drive the getaway car after her gang of guys rob a bank, which she says “suits me perfectly, I was married to the number one bank robber.” But not only that, Drita is going to rap on the track. Oh yes. She shows up to the studio to work on it and realizes that even though she’s been rapping forever, she’s never done it professionally. For Bad Boy Records.

After she’s done and she hears the final product she’s pumped. “I feel like beating up somebody!!” she says. And off she sends her rhymes, to Bad Boy, to hopefully land on a remix.

Karen‘s career is thriving now that her book is done and she’s moving back to her first love, working in a spa. A trained aesthetician, Karen is going to be working in a day spa run by a plastic surgeon and offering facials and body treatments to high end clients. Which is all great, except that she has two weeks to pull the spa together and plan the opening party.

Karen asks Ramona and Renee to help her, and they’re all in, they’re going to help with the party, but they’re also going to help her run this business. Ramona will be in charge of lasers, and Renee will help with gift bags, so this could either sound like I’m describing a third grader’s birthday party in the year 2316, or a spa party from present day, I can understand where you might be confused.

Since Renee is a partner, she asks Carla to come to the spa party, and Carla once again hesitates to attend a Karen-related event, onnaccounta all the bulls— that’s still an issue. Again, she doesn’t feel like her presence is really needed, so she doesn’t really think her presence is a big deal.

Renee and Big Ang want Drita and Karen to make up so none of the drama has to exist anymore, but it sounds like they’re the only ones that think civility is possible. Ang asks Ramona what she thinks, and Ramona’s Magic 8 Ball is basically like “Outlook Not So Good.”

“I’m very sick and tired of the bulls— between Karen and I,” Drita says when Renee brings the same topic up to her. Drita’s anger management and boxing lessons have taken her need to fight down a notch, and she would welcome the opportunity to be civil with Karen, from the sound of it. “I just don’t want to deal with issues when I’m moving forward and having great things happen.”

Speaking of great things happening for Drita, when she’s filming the French Montana video, she learns that they LOVE her rap verse and want to shoot it as a trailer to the video. She is so, SO excited. And she killed it.

Anyway, remember the part about Karen’s big party where Renee was in charge of gift bags and Ramona was in charge of lasers? Yyyeah, so neither of those things were ready to go the day of the party, which pissed Karen off, rightly so.

Eventually the gift bags arrive (but no lasers?) and Karen’s mood shifts. So Renee thinks this is the perfect time to ask Karen if she’d meet with Drita to squash their issues. Karen also agrees because she says “At this point, I just want to see what Drita has to say.” But when Karen runs the idea past her cousin Rena, Rena has another thought. A less benevolent thought.

“The girl has nothing but jealousy for you for years. You just need to cut her out,” Rena says. “What you need to tell Renee is that’s too much poison for me. Don’t ask me to be her friend…the only way that you have to deal with her is hit her. The minute she opens her words, crack her jaw.”

Well then.

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