Mob Wives – Episode 16 – Lockdown Love

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On a show called Mob Wives, we rarely see the men (Junior excepted) in the lives of these women. But all of a sudden, they’re all popping up and they’re all causing drama and prove once and for all that you really can’t live with them, and you can’t live without ‘em.

This week on “Drita gets a pre-paid call from: Lee…D’Avanzo,” Drita is feeling good because she’s still excited by the news that Lee is being moved to Brooklyn which is much closer than the facility he’s in upstate. “Lee told me he’s going to finish his remaining sentence in Brooklyn. Lee being closer to home is the best thing in the world right now because I don’t wanna drive six f—ing hours to go see any-f—ing-body,” she says, and I hear that, girl. Six hours on the I-87 will make you want to murder anybody, especially if you have to stop at that rest stop in Newburgh and use the bathroom. Those toilet seats are NEVER dry.

Drita also informs Lee of her new job as a getaway driver in French Montana‘s video, which cracks Lee up, that she’s involved now (even for entertainment purposes) in the family bank-robbing business.
Drita Mob Wives
He’s also fully supportive of her dating again (probably because he knows her dating techniques involve punching guys and challenging them to feats of physical strength), but his support surprises her. “I actually don’t know if I like you being this nice,” she tells him. Because it’s easier to be divorced from an an a-hole than from a nice guy. This just complicates things! “All he’s doing is reminding me why I loved him.”

Karen is still contemplating meeting with Drita, even after her cousin Rena told her she should crack Drita’s jaw instead, and she seeks Ramona‘s advice. Which is crazy, because we all know Ramona supports their reconciliation and just wants Karen and Drita to make things work. (J/K!)

This is actually what Ramona thinks of the idea:

She tells Karen it’s not a good idea and that “You might as well put [Drita] out with the trash, ’cause she’s trash.”

Karen gets it, but she also says she’s done with the negativity, as we all are, I think, and she is just wanting to move on. And if nothing else, she wants to do this for Renee and just get this over with. Ramona just warns “If she comes out her face, be the real you and that the motherf—ing b—h out.”

I’m in the “Carla and Joe Should Get Back Together” camp, but for now, I’m just going to have to wait, because as Carla tells Big Ang, it’s just not happening right now.

Joe’s not around quite as much as he was a while back, plus Joe’s history as a cheater is still in her mind, so there’s no hope of reconciliation for now. But seriously, where’s he been hanging out lately, that’s the question. “Does he have a girlfriend?” Ang asks. “That always sidetracks them from their family.”

Gooood question. Big Ang hopes he doesn’t though, because

“I’m not a b—h, I’m not a devil, but when it comes to my kids, then you’re f—ing with me,” Carla says, vowing to find out whether or not Joe has a chippy on the side.

When they spend some quality time working out together, Carla tells him he’s been scarce (“Like a gas shortage?” he asks. “There’s a Joe shortage?”) and wonders where he’s been. “I have other people I see,” he says. “Like a girl.” “I knew it!” Carla says.

“Some little f—in’ hussy.”
Let’s be clear though, Carla’s not jealous, she’s just annoyed that he has a serious (young) girlfriend when he’s fresh out of prison. Like, when did he have the time to get so serious?? Joe’s even introduced the kids to her. “She plays with them,” Joe says, which leads Carla to my favorite line of the episode, when she retorts “She f—ing brings her Barbie doll collection over?” I love you, Carla. But she intones that this is the end of Joe and Carla because “Joe started his life, I need to start mine.” Nooo!

Happy 23rd birthday to Big Ang’s AJ! To celebrate, Big Ang buys him a new gold chain, and to reward herself for being so nice, she browses the jewelry herself because she loves “Diamonds, diamonds, diamonds.”

Big Ang really wants her son to settle down and get engaged in the next two years, but that’s just not AJ’s style. Besides, when you have a mother who’s cooking you a birthday feast of bresaola, pigs knuckles, gravy, sweet and sour sausage, and who knows what else, do you really even need to look for another woman?

Like Carla and Joe, Karen and her ex, Dave, are in limbo. The last time they spoke they had a big fight, but Karen wants their daughter to move to New York and she needs to discuss the situation with Dave, and possibly even see if he wants to move to New York too. Judging from their greeting, they don’t seem in that much limbo though.

They miss each other. Emotionally and physically. “Dave’s still got it!” Karen says. She gets giddy just talking about him to Ramona and explains that they’re currently “Back in the saddle again.”

Karina, their daughter, wants to know when they’re getting back together, and though they don’t quite know what the future holds, Karen says they’re going to take baby steps to rebuild a relationships. This is a good baby step.

Drita meets with her friend Nicole to discuss the Karen situation, and here’s the thing. Nicole, like Ramona and Rena over in Karen’s circle, doesn’t trust the opposition. She tells Drita that she doesn’t believe Karen wants peace. But to hear Karen and Drita both tell it, they both want to coexist peacefully and move on since they both have a lot of successful business to tend to, they’re mothers, etc. To borrow a phrase from Drita, everyone else is chirping away, but the two women at the center of it should probably not be listening to it all, because their friends are just feeding them drama.

However, Drita wants peace with Karen, but Ramona she could care less about. “My problem lies with Ramona and it’s a massive problem,” she says. “Karen must know how much I hate f—ing Lucifer. No one’s going to be able to pry me off of her. I’m going to be chewing on her face. Like a leech.”

Gross.

Renee is still coping with the Junior situation and she realizes the best way to do it is to talk it all out to make sense of it. Her good friend Cherry Martinez’s radio show, Lockdown Love, focuses on people with loved ones in prison, so Renee goes on the show to discuss things.

Renee explains that because Junior would come back to her each time he came out of prison, she thought she had found her prince. Unfortunately, he was the prince “of f—ing darkness.”

As for how she feels about Junior now, she’s come a looong way. She says she loved him more than anyone can ever know at one point, but right now, “I don’t love him. Not a speck,” she says. “Take your bid. Be a man. Leave your son with respect. He is no father and he is no man to me. I would spit on him.”

Drita started the episode excited at the prospect that Lee would be coming to Brooklyn. She ends it with the news that those plans have changed. Not only is he not going to be super-close to Drita and the girls, he’s moving to a facility even further away, he writes in a letter.

She’s devastated, for her daughters’ sake. “Nothing can ever go right for these kids,” she says, knowing how much it will hurt Aleeya especially. “I finally had one great thing to tell her, and now I have to take that away from her.”

No one, especially not a child, deserves to have their loved ones taken away from them, but in this lifestyle, that’s just the cycle that they’re used to by now.

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