Basketball Wives – Episode 12 – Fantasy Island


Tami Roman speaks the truth.

“I’m proud of myself, I’ve really been stopping and thinking…I’m able to just step back and help other people with their stuff, stop them from doing something that they may not want to do,” Tami tells her anger management therapist at the beginning of the episode. It’s true that throughout the latter half of the season, she has been more of the referee than the fighter. But she also tells her therapist about the Kesha drama and Tami tells the therapist that Kesha called her a racist. Tami would have a right to be upset at being called racist, but the issue has always seemed more like Tami’s just been insensitive to Kesha more than anything. But, as Tami always points out, we weren’t there, so it’s not our place to comment on these specifics. However, things in the anger management department aren’t going to remain so copacetic this week.

“I know that he loves me and I know he supports me, but I can’t get a hug if I freakin’ beg for it sometimes,” Royce says as the drama with her dad continues. Her father is certainly stubborn, but it makes you realize where Royce gets her steadfastness and her toughness from. After Royce and Robert (he’s so imposing, I feel like I should call him Mr. Reed) finish their conversation, they later meet with Dezmon. Mr. Reed tells Dezmon that he thinks Royce is needy, which pisses off Royce.

But when Royce asks Dez point blank if he thinks she’s needy, he answers by saying “Not necessarily,” which turns into “Yeah, a little bit.” Royce shuts down and says that in that case, she’ll go back to being the Royce she used to be, who was just “All about Royce,” and that’s a promise.

She leaves and Dez goes to find her and she asks why he would wait to tell her she’s around too much until they’re in front of her dad. “It seems like every other word or sentence I say hurts your feelings,” he tells her, which is why he hasn’t said anything before, but just because he feels like she can be needy “AT TIMES” they still love each other and that doesn’t change, awkward lunch or not.

Over at Evelyn and Chad’s house, they’re talking about their future. Chad, on the one hand, doesn’t think he has a future because he has a fever and dramatically declares that he’s on his deathbed. Evelyn ignores him and is thinking more short-term future and wants to know where they’re going on their honeymoon. Chad doesn’t want a honeymoon, he just wants to be with Evelyn because he loves her so much. And he hilariously tells her “I love you. All that damn baggage you had? I loved you and I unpacked it.”

Back to Tami and her anger management. She tries to convince Evelyn to go to the therapist too because Evelyn also has a tendency to go from zero to wine-bottle in .02 seconds, but this Kesha stuff is still weighing on Tami’s mind. She is happy that she’s been able to maintain her composure in previous talks with Kesha, but she’s not looking forward to the girls’ trip to Tahiti because she knows shes going to have to confront her unresolved issues there. But away they all go to the South Pacific, where anything can happen.

Shaunie points out that Jen and Kenya skipped out on the flight they all were supposed to take together which is odd but not really surprising. Kesha probably wishes she was on that flight, too. As soon as they all get in their van, Tami starts criticizing Kesha for coughing without covering her mouth.

“As usual, Tami always has a problem for everything that involves me,” Kesha says. But Tami is proud of the fact that despite the cough situation, they’re still coexisting and not murdering each other. Baby steps!

Suzie is still stuck on the idea that Tahiti is full of cannibals which none of the other women have heard, and on their ferry ride to Moorea, Tami likens their arrival to Fantasy Island, and she half expects Tattoo to announce their arrival. Alas, no Tattoo, but there ARE dancers there to greet them.

Dancers who never leave their side.

When they enter their gorgeous waterfront bungalow, Tami sees flowers everywhere and laments “Wow, I wish I took this trip with my dud instead of four b—hes.”

At their first dinner of the trip things go relatively well, drama-free and perfectly pleasant. Well, except for the fact that Suzie hatches a plan to pull a fast one on Kenya by leaving a dead fish in her bedroom. Because these women are twelve years old. “I think it’s funny, I just hope she takes it as a joke,” Tami says of the prank.

Then the topic changed to Jennifer as it always does, and Evelyn states that Jennifer owes Evelyn for her life. Because basically, without Evelyn, Jennifer would not be “relevant.” Suzie also mentions a tweet of Jennifer’s, sent after the slap, that was a remark about Nia changing the locks on her apartment, saying “I will give u the gas money from my V12 to change your locks!” which further fuels the women’s annoyance at her and her so-called bougie-ness. If and when Jennifer finally arrives to this island, there’s going to be a whole lot of awkward silences and throat clearing, huh?

The next day…hooooo boy, the next day, so much happens. So many sharks. Tami included.

The next day, the women go on a boat trip where they can swim with stingrays, and at first, Kesha was excited. But when the boat is out there and they all see that there are more sharks than stingrays in the water, she starts to backpedal and reluctantly stands at the water’s edge. BECAUSE THE OCEAN IS FULL OF SHARKS.

But that’s not a good enough excuse for the rest of the group, Kesha said she was going to swim, and by god, she better. Honestly, I don’t know why her not wanting to SWIM WITH SHARKS is so frowned upon, but everyone is annoyed. Eventually she and Suzie get in the water and have a nice time. As nice a time as you can when you are SURROUNDED BY SHARKS.

After Jaws V, the ladies go to a nice island bar to have some drinks, some shots, some nice conversation, but after Kesha asks one too many questions in an effort to get to know the ladies, Tami tells her she’s acting like this is a talk show and all the questions are annoying her. “Tasmanian Tami comes out of the woodwork,” Shaunie says.

“The thing with Kesha is, she doesn’t understand the world that I come from. I don’t operate on the terms of going behind people’s back and backstabbing and being malicious,” Tami says as she’s about to unload her grievances on an unsuspecting Kesha. The things Kesha said to Suzie and Royce after her dinner fight with Tami have come back to Tami, and she’s very unhappy about it. And she has a lot to say.

“I’m not the b—h you wanna start with. Pick somebody else, but don’t you start with me,” Tami tells her, and Kesha, once again sits there and listens and for good reason, doesn’t try to fight back. (Would you??)

Tami is upset that Kesha would talk about her to other people but not to her face, and she’s upset that Kesha suggested that she didn’t want to embarrass Tami any more “than she’s already embarrassed herself.” “I didn’t want to go off on you that night, and I don’t want to go off on you now,” Kesha tells her and, really, can you imagine Kesha wanting to go off on anyone? She may have said she would, and maybe she would have verbally, but this is the girl who has avoided physical conflict since day one, she was never going to face off with Tami.

“Straight up, from the gate up, you need to watch what you say, ’cause I’m not that b—h, I don’t play games,” Tami says. And Kesha, who I genuinely am worried for now because of this statement says “It’s just nonsense. I just looked at her like the fool she is.” Will that make Tami even angrier? Maybe. Is this fight over? Hardly.

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