“The water is really, really blue. It reminded me of the Maldives, where I went with Eric for my honeymoon,” Jennifer says as she arrives in Tahiti. Those words will come back to her because she apparently has a habit of comparing tropical vacation locales and that irks her old friends, but for now, it’s an innocent enough comment, and it makes us doubly jealous since we’ve never been anywhere cool like the Maldives or Tahiti. Anyway. She and Kenya have missed all the Tami/Kesha drama, but lucky for them, they’re about to engage in their own.
Shaunie, Evelyn, and Tami are sharing a sunset cruise together and they spy Jennifer on the deck of her villa just after she’s checked in. And like any over-30 adult women, they squeal “That’s her that’s her that’s her!”
“Where?” Shaunie asks. “Right there! Right there!” Tami says.
Right here, Shaunie!
Jennifer is, of course, totally oblivious. She’s still making a Venn diagram of similarities between this place and the Maldives, but now that Evelyn’s seen her, her blood pressure spikes and she’s anxious now that her nemesis is on site.
Suzie stayed behind and didn’t go on the sunset cruise in order to hang out with Jennifer, and first things first, she tells Jen that Kesha left the island in record time. She took a twenty nine hour flight, but left after just forty-eight hours there. Jen is stunned that Kesha bolted, but she’s actually not surprised that the ladies edged her out.
“I’m actually not surprised because you never know with this group,” she says. Jen is loving the vibe of Tahiti though, which is why so far, she’s avoiding the rest of the group. She’s like “Really, you want to have drama here?” She has no plans to talk to Evelyn or address their issues because in her mind, it’s a lost cause.
Later, Suzie meets with the girls who are back from the sunset cruise to tell them everything from her dinner with Jen (why is it that Suzie is allowed to repeat all this and get a pass?) and she says that Jen wants to meet with Shaunie to talk about feelings, and that she doesn’t want to talk to Evelyn. Everyone is kind of exhausted by this runaround.
But the next day their exhaustion turns into annoyance because Jen and Kenya have been on the island for a while now and haven’t bothered to say hello or get in touch with anyone but Suzie. Shaunie is especially bothered by this. They decide to ignore Jen for now and start with Kenya, they want to see her, but they also want to check in and see how their fish prank is going. If you’ll recall, Suzie, Shaunie and Evelyn put dead fish in Kenya’s bungalow to see how much of the stink she could take, and as Tami and Shaunie approach her room, the stench is already there.
“I had to breathe through my mouth,” Shaunie says as they walk away from the room, once Kenya has promised to join them at breakfast. “O-M-Geeee,” Tami says, unable to process how Kenya is keeping to together in that chum-filled room.
Now that she’s been convinced to come out, Kenya marches over to the ladies and pushes her chair out, away from the table. As she gives them a steely stare, she tells them that she’s not in the best mood, since the last time she was with them all, “I had a bottle thrown at me the last time I was around her, so…I’m not gonna be happy,” and she says nodding at Evelyn.
Evelyn apologizes, sort of.
Tami tries to broker the situation, asking “Do you accept her apology?” but it’s ignored when everyone realizes Kenya’s giving them all a crazy stare and it freaks them out.
I mean, you have to laugh at their faces because they all think that Kenya is about go full-on Crazytown.
“A comment like ‘loose’ — if it was said — is not enough to hit somebody with a bottle,” Kenya says, explaining why she needs a minute to digest Ev’s apology. “I was very angry about what happened, and I wanted revenge,” Kenya says almost disappointedly, when it turns out that Evelyn’s apology is real and she’s calm throughout their conversation.
Shaunie’s still not convinced that Kenya isn’t gonna flip out, and she keeps asking her if she’s okay, to which Kenya hilariously responds “I’m a little bit crazy. A little bit. I know I am.” And then like four seconds later, she recovers from the crazies, asks for a drink, and everyone’s cool. Oh, that Tahihian magic! So once she becomes cool with everyone again, she wonders where Kesha is, and they tell her all about how she was run out of town. Kenya is unfazed and says “Once again Kesha was running and crying and being a punk.” Ouch. But you have to hand it to the group, at least they resolved this Kenya-Evelyn issue. Now the only thing left to do is beat the dead horse known as Jennifer. (To borrow Evelyn’s phrase from earlier this season, of course!)
They get Kenya to pull Jen out of her villa and the two of them begin to enjoy a nice meal together, alone. But soon, Tami and Shaunie join them at the table to tell them their issues.
“I’m so mad at you,” Shaunie tells Jen, explaining that it was just rude for Jen to arrive and not say hello to any of them for a whole day. “Don’t me mad at me! I’m trying to stay away from the drama,” Jen says. “It’s escalated to a point of no return.” As Jen is further discussing this point, Evelyn walks over to the table because even though it’s a point of no return, she needs to talk this out.
“This is not an argument, this is not a fight,” Evelyn says. This is just to “lay out on the table who said what.” Keeping it one hundred, etc. Jen isn’t in the mood though and she gets up to walk away, but Evelyn follows.
“You don’t wanna talk about it now, but you’re on Twitter tough-talking?” Evelyn calls out to Jen.
“Keep listening to the lies,” Jen tells her as she closes the door on Evelyn. But the door to the fight, it will open again soon.