Tough Talk With Steve Ward – Episode 7 – Meet The Parents


Steve Tough Love

Master Matchmaker Steve Ward is back for another season of Tough Love, and each week, he’ll be giving us an exclusive look at what went down behind the scenes on the series. This week, we discussed Melissa‘s inability to be happy and that delicate relationship with the mother of the man you love.

Melissa broke up with Chris this week, but then at the end of the same episode she admitted she missed him, and then she couldn’t even choose one guy out of the eight that you presented to her. Why is she so picky, what’s going on with her?

The fact is thatch was trying to tell me she’s not attracted to certain guys, and basically she was trying to put it on me, like it’s my fault I haven’t found her someone that she’s really into, and I’m like, look, I don’t care if you meet somebody or if you don’t, but you’re going to go through this with somebody and you’re going to learn from it. Even if it involves breaking up with somebody. Chris put his neck on the line, he embarrassed himself for her, so I was like, I don’t care, you’re going to learn how to break up with somebody. You haven’t learned how to meet somebody, how to be intimate with somebody, how to have a relationship, but guess what? Because of where you’re at in the process, you’ll at least learn how to end one.

Is her issue that she’s superficial? Is that really why she rejected all these guys?

She kept trying to tell me they weren’t the kind of guy she wanted, she would cry about that, and I was like, what’s it going to take? I’ve tried everything! Next week’s episode is the exes episode, and in her case, she had no exes, I at least had to find someone she just had a crush on so I could see what the hell she’s attracted to. I’m not a therapist, I’m no out there trying to resolve deeper issues, I’m trying to coach these women and help them connect and make the most of those connections. That’s what my job is. When you have girls that aren’t practicing or learning or going through the challenges with resolve and purpose, they’re the ones who will walk away without learning from it.

Despina seems to have grown quite a bit this week, she really seemed to connect with Austin on their airport date, that was surprising.

Here’s the thing, I wouldn’t say she’s grown a ton, you don’t see that much of a leap. When you saw her with his dad and she was talking about how awkward it was, it’s because she made it awkward. It wasn’t awkward. Dude brought his banjo. He was ready to chill. She put out an energy that made it awkward. I chastised her for that in group. She’s really not good with being in touch with her emotions. Whatsoever. She avoids them like the plague. Don’t get me wrong, she’s connecting and getting more invested in him, but that doesn’t mean she’s changing. She’s very good at getting men to fall for her, the point is, are you emotionally connecting with yourself, first, and how does it relate to this person? Is he helping you be in touch with your emotions, and therefore, with life? Emotions are the colors of the palette, they’re what you paint your life’s work with. And without a broad spectrum of emotions, it’s a pretty bland picture.

I really felt bad for Stephanie, her feedback from John’s mom wasn’t very nice.

Not at all. That’s a great example for people at home, mother-in-laws, your guy’s mother, they’re the toughest critics out there, they always are. They’re the one’s who are the most difficult to please and to earn the respect of. Sometimes guys even use their moms as a way to weed out the misfits, so I think it was tough. And she has a hard time handling criticism anyway.

I felt like John’s mother’s criticism was undue though, it was overly harsh and just judging Stephanie by her appearance.

It was. It was unfair. I’ll be the first to admit, I don’t have to like these guys’ moms, I thought it was out of line. I think in her particular case, John has been married before and the mom had her own issues and ramifications to deal with from that relationship, so there are issues that unfortunately Stephanie will be compared to and that sort of thing. But that’s the mom’s issue, it’s not within Stephanie’s control. That’s why it’s difficult but it’s reality.

If you want to keep up to date with Steve Ward or even ask him for some love advice, make sure you follow him on Twitter (@stevenbward), like him Facebook, and friend him on Google Plus.

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